Reality in Polka-Dots

If I had a brain I’d be dangerous. Seriously.

Last night I reread the previous couple posts on my psiche blog, and realized that way back in May I’d done the last archetype meditation. Bad enough it’d been that long, but I’d completely forgotten the med. I’d even forgotten getting a new IG, despite that I did a few meds with her. The level of my denial is astounding!

I went back to finish the med and had a mindblowing experience. (See Psiche for detail.) So it’s a good thing that I wrote down the first meditation or I wouldn’t have remembered several things that turned out to be very important.

This morning, I read the rest of the posts on the first page. In them were several other meditations that I had forgotten far more completely than the other. It was like reading something written by someone else! That’s just astounding.

I’m seriously beginning to think that I must have a whole lot more denial going in my life than even I suspected. How could I forget that much stuff??

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So I’m thinking if meditating on my problems is hard, maybe I should start meditating on just the opposite — if my problem is ‘lack of money’, meditate on ‘abundance’ for example. Maybe then the meditation would be easier to get around to, clearer, more fun, and still have a positive result toward the basic goal.

— Since it appears when I focus on problems, I space out the spaces of my life that have that work. Like big spots of nothingness, and then spots of somethingness. I see reality in polka-dots: little spheres of what I’m willing to deal with, surrounded by nothingness, the masses of stuff I’m not.

PJ

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