So, although I am notoriously in avoidance of UFO-logy literature since–well, always–it’s taken me what, 18 years, but I think I’ve read what might be my 6th or 7th book about it now. Actually it’s my 2nd or 3rd book about ‘abduction’, the other books were other stuff.
Somewhere near the end of my Bewilderness era — after actually trying to read Mack’s book but having it paranormally vanish repeatedly (multiple copies of it I mean, I kept buying it again)–I finally read a Jacobs book (‘Secret Life’, because the title reminded me of my own life). I only managed to read it because I literally sat in the bookstore parking lot and read it, afraid it would vanish too. I hated it. Let’s find someone totally paranoid and let them hypnotize people to see if their experiences reflect the hypnotists paranoia, you think? Of course, I was surreally positive and he was negative, and then one of his subjects used the same words I had in my journals about something, which totally validated it for me, which totally pissed me off. Because you know, at that point I really needed denial. So I admit how I interpreted the book at the time might have had a little hostility thrown in.
Sometime in the early ’00s I read a few Vallee books. I am a huge fan of that man. I consider him one of the few worthwhile folks in the genre. I read Thompson’s Alien Identities, which despite its stupid title I think is the best book I’ve read on the topic hands-down. I read a portion of ‘The Watchers’ last year that someone had sent me a photocopy of somewhere near the dawn of time (like 1997?) but I’d avoided it until I was ‘parsing’ house junk and wanted to toss it but felt like I ought to read it first. Only took me a dozen years!
The other day since someone had given me Karla Turner’s “Into the Fringe” book, I decided I’d finally sit down and read it.I thought it was a late 90’s book as I think that’s when I heard of it but it turns out it’s from like 1989 — so actually years prior to my own case study. I read the introduction and thought, had I read it before writing mine, I would have avoided a couple of similar phrases no less. I hate that… it’s not as bad, though, as writing about what to me are amazing, unique experiences, only to discover this stuff is old-hat and I’m boring everybody.
I am really not fond of the ‘abduction’ concept at all. Yes I realize Bewilderness from the 93-95 era sounds a whole lot like that kind of thing, but being a jungian girl I tend to think there’s going to be a bigger picture coming out of all of this eventually. And I just abhor the whole victim-mentality. Not because I think it isn’t legit in some cases, but because as I said back in Bewilderness–there is a degree of self-creation going on, and I do not mean self-invented mind you, I mean I think we “tune” ourselves to a certain focus-frequency and what we run into is at least partly related to that. Focus on fear and plenty shows up to justify it. Yes, it might show up on its own. But once someone becomes aware, their focus is their own responsibility. Of course I realize that most people running into this, they don’t think that way; they react to it not much differently than they would getting jumped in a parking lot.
I do agree there are a few groups that are definitely not-us and definitely have technology of various kinds used to interact with us. The blondes, the fragiles, the bugs, the cat-eyed lizard guys, as I called the main groups I ran into — well, I called them all ‘doons for quite awhile. UFOlogy calls those same-described folks the Nordics, the Greys, the Mantis, and possibly the Reptilians, although I think there is a different (green and rather demonic-like imagery) species that people actually mean when they refer to reptilians. The guys I’m talking about are light-tan color and humanoid–‘The Guardians’ is what they call themselves.
Ok but aside from all that (…) my other experiences I don’t think relate to aliens. I think some was our own people, and the rest is literally just ‘evolution’ — nearly a textbook case for side-effects of a kundalini experience and travel through the QBL paths and spheres and related experiences.
I’m the first to admit that it’s just damn confusing why shamanic, qabalic, alien, spiritual, archetypal, and more all come through the same doorway, so to speak. I had the sampler platter of everything in that account. I understand a lot more about it now, and am a lot more relaxed about it all, but I don’t have an easy answer about that. I admit I kind of let go of expecting an answer on most things long ago.
So back to the book. On the down side, I interpret this like the author is basically recounting how she read a UFO abduction book, then as she and her husband and others totally obsessed on the topic, read more books, went to MUFON meetings, and got hypnotized about it–mind you often hypnotizing each other–well it just showed up more and more in their lives. The irony is, I don’t have any trouble believing her account is legit, I just have trouble believing that it isn’t a little more evident to people that you get what you focus on energy-wise.
Frankly if everybody read UFO literature first and only remembered stuff because they got hypnotized, I just wouldn’t believe any of it either, it’s hard not to sympathize with skeptics on this. Since I avoided the topic (to the degree possible which is only partially) and haven’t been hypnotized to remember what I do, and I still had just a horrible time validating myself at all, that’s something of a hot button. But I realize that people may stumble on it or be drawn to it because of needing to work through such experiences, so it’s not fair to dismiss them just because they follow-on detailed exposure to such ideas.
On the up side, it was not long and was pretty readable and to be fair, she did address all my gripes above in the book itself, as things she considered.
I was looking to see if there were experiences in common that I’ve had, with what was in the book. There were really only a few in the end, and they are actually not the more ‘alien-ish’ things so much as other offbeat stuff. One of things I’ve seen in my experience and that of others I’ve known, is the amount of weird junk that you really don’t know what to attach it to or what it might mean. There were a few of those things.
One thing I find interesting about this field is that it’s like the open form of an archetype. You can have a completely different experience as someone else, yet see the parallel in the ‘shape’ of it anyway. So here are the few “sync” forms I got from the book.
In BW I described an event where something ‘manifested’ under my blanket, moved up, and just a head (nothing else, no body!) looked at me, and I literally just fainted from the shock of it.
ItF: … “One time she was in my room, but it was just her head and her hands,” he said… a line where a man is describing a woman-alien that came into his room
from Into the Fringe
After getting back in bed, David woke again a while later, feeling, he said, as if he were oscillating violently, as if his body were about to explode or disintegrate into its atomic particles. “It felt really scary,” he said,”like if that sensation went on much longer, I was literally going to come apart.”
It got stronger, harder, like my whole body was being shaken by the vibrato, and my body began to feel as if every single molecule in it was moving in time with it. [. . .] I compared it suddenly, as it was happening, with a scene from the movie Lawnmower Man, where he kills these guys by sort of “shaking them into marbles.” It felt pretty much exactly like that! — except… well, much smaller marbles.
In another area, a guy describes getting ‘shocked’ and then being basically empty (“unplugged”) — an experience I also described in detail in BW.
This is totally trivial, but it’s the ‘little details’ I often find interesting. In ItF, a guy is describing what might be a grey, something small and slim that has vaguely eel-skin like textured skin. He specifically describes something like a belt on it.
from Into the Fringe
I can see its abdomen area, I guess. It’s just, maybe, a foot across, or about that, maybe a little more. Seems real smooth and skinny. And then below that is some kind of, it looks kind of like a belt, but it’s wide because it’s, I can just see the top of it. […] all I can really see is the top of this belt-looking thing. I just say it’s a belt, I don’t know what it is. It’s in that region.
from bewilderness, about ‘the warden’ (a ‘fragile’ aka Grey):
I liked her very much, and I had a real affection for her, anchored by her empathy and my loneliness. But in panic I suppressed it, and while she wasn’t expecting it, I bashed her in the neck with my elbow, jumped off the bed thing and grabbed her, and used this “thing” she had like a belt to tie her to the bed with.
The last chapter had two novel things I found interesting.
One was about a woman being shown/told how ‘pockets of information’ were stored in the energy field near the body and were available – ‘tap them’ she was told – and were expected to open up ‘when needed’. I had thought about this years ago (not at all in this context though) and I might like to meditate on that.
I find that interesting because of all the info very clearly given/downloaded into me during that era, and me still wondering WTF it’s for and how to get to it.
The other was a story I found the ‘shell of sync’ with.
So this guy (apparently in a dream) sees this big dark cloud coming close and low and a pickup truck drives out of it. He uses a floor-only elevator to go down deep in a place and ends up in the seeming guise-design of a ‘saloon’. Like it was designed to seem like a dream should someone remember it. There was a military guy in charge there who was demanding info from him, getting mad that he wasn’t providing it, and then essentially threatened him and people he knew as part of that process.
It had some “harmonics” you might say, with my dream of walking through the door and seeing a car levitated in the parking lot, then being at the mechanic’s garage and wanting to go home, and some man I perceived as the manager there kept demanding some of me, insisting I hadn’t held up my part of some bargain, and then him making it clear they might tell people I knew something bad about me–in their dreams–to make them not like me.
Yes I know it’s a bit of a stretch for comparison but my gut tells me there’s a pattern sync there somewhere.
I had a bit of a don’t-like-this-energy dream last night and blame it on the focus brought about by the book.
If I do any of the information meditations I’d be blogging that over on psiche.