I had a meditation left to do from the night with the Four. My right hand had itched all over at that time, and I knew if I didn’t do the meditation, it wouldn’t resolve. I hadn’t done it. Itching had been very mild and occasional the next day though. And had included my right foot.
This night, I requested a meditation that began with “what I most need…” and finally ended up being what it should always be: “Mark, you choose for me.” And then a sigh of exasperation, since my ego prefers to make plans and feel like it knows what it’s doing. And then a recognition that I probably needed to do the one I hadn’t gotten through previously, and he would work it out.
I decide I don’t want to make a big moving-around effort physically to get my laptop and find some of my brainsync or hemisync stuff, because I’m in a nice comfortable way, so I grab my phone and the free app 32 Brainwave Programs and choose ‘meditation’ binaural and ‘serenity’ sounds and go.
It doesn’t take long, fortunately.
I’m floating and slowly turning in a round platform-boat with seats around the edge facing inward, like you see at water theme parks that hold 10-16 people. My 12 Aeons are there. We are drifting slowly in what seems like a cave and I’m holding hands on each side. Nero at left and Ray on right, I realize, clinging to them hard.
We keep floating. I tell them all in the boat, I like this, we’ve never done a med together before, all the Aeons, at least I think!
The palm of my right hand is suddenly itching insanely all over, like it had been previously. I don’t know how the energy of us in this cave relates, but obviously does. I have to stop briefly to scratch.
I hear a rushing sound like water going down. We go down a sort of water-slide area, and we’re in a lower area, as if the cave has two levels.
“Impossible.” I say. “Water finds its own level. All the water would be on the bottom.” Then I realize how ridiculous my expectations are given this is only in my head!
My palm stopped itching. Now the backs of my fingers especially index finger on my right hand itches just insanely. I have to stop briefly to scratch.
Every time I peer over the edge of the round boat to see in the water, to see if I can I get a glimpse into the depth, I get an abreaction in my legs (they both jerk suddenly). The backs of my fingers stop itching when I do this, because every time I do it, the front and inside of my right hand fingers itches with it, itches like crazy. I stop briefly to scratch, then try again. It takes me many tries before finally I can see. It is clear but deep, as I suspected. I change my Aeons and now I have Ithikah holding my left hand and Bolehren holding my right.
We aren’t really moving much now though. In this lower but bigger area, we’re just sort of drifting. I question this in my head, and get the impression we all have to ‘want’ to move ‘together.’ We are all aware together, so we do that, we all want to ‘go’ wherever it is we need to go. We are moving now and eventually, wandering through this inside but large area, we come to these giant doors.
They are right in the middle of the water on a wall. Almost as if there was this huge temple-castle or something and it flooded.
The doors slowly open and inside is another room. The ceiling is probably 100 feet above us. There is something on both sides of us going forward, many somethings the same, and I have no idea what, some logical part of my brain is thinking this reminds me of rooms with tons of shelves, high shelving units, and another part is thinking this is like an army of those 50 foot tall golden egyptian-esque statue guys standing in formation. They create a channel, a pathway that we are moving down.
The moment we pass through the doorway, rushing takes my body in waves. Not extreme but plenty visceral to notice. I look forward and I see that up ahead after we leave the channel there is an open water space and then something like a stage or elevated area, and on this is something golden. It reminds me of the golden cloaks people wore in a vision I had circa 1993 with 3rd of 4, the first time I met him, at one point someone put a golden cloak on us too, and it was so bright I couldn’t look at it.
I had the clear sense of something “divine” as the rushing grooved through my body — not gigantically but very noticeably — that whatever was on stage cloaked in bright shining gold was alive/Be-ings and they were divine.
But we are having a really hard time getting there… because we all have to be doing this together and are not. I am the summation of all the others, I realize. And I cannot seem to hold my state of mind and keep jerking myself back from sleep, or one of the Aeons is helping do that for me. I don’t know if not all the Aeons are ready for this and I am showing that symptom — since I am them-combined — I don’t think so though. I think this is my problem, because I’m so unused to altered state work now and apparently some pitiful little free program for iPhone is capable of knocking my ass out.
Should I blog this much before I forget it, before we continue? I ask at large. Because I feel it’s important I not forget this and be able to re-begin the meditation here. Yes, I’m told.
So I get the laptop, but I can’t hold the line. I repeatedly slip into sleep or fugue and sometimes I literally just cannot type. I eventually fall asleep for real but I’m woken up normally a short time later, and I type this out.
My right hand itches in various places off and on through the next day, and my right foot sometimes as well. I am reminded of my meditation More on the Horse where:
There is a part of me that, in this life, and now, needs the focus of attention and work. Like, that’s what this life is for, perhaps. […] …on me this is both my right foot/leg and my right hand/arm. I felt this was incredibly important and had to do with my health, my destiny, and more. […] Sierpienta …represents the energy of the tip of the right index finger…
I intended to meditate the next night. That time I grabbed BrainSync’s “deep meditation” that I used to use. It knocked me out before I even began. This is what not practicing something for literally years leads to dammit. I must be altered state for these meds — not only because not being so has been part of my denial, but because the most important elements are either barely perceived or not present at all if I am not. I will continue the meditation with my little digital beep timer in my hand (where pressing a button will just restart the count) tonight.