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Thoth Tarot Two of Cups

Thoth Tarot Two of Cups (Love)

It struck me as interesting when I realized the tarot med I had been putting off since forever, Two of Cups (and in fact Mark told me not to do swords but to do cups next), was in fact “Love.” Probably related to why I never finished the “Love me Do” Aeon cycle meditation, or anything else that relates to receiving or, as it was put to me years ago, “allowing myself vulnerability.”

Edwin Steinbrecher theorized that the more one rejected/denied a given energy, the more it was actually present in your reality. Push it down on one side, it sticks up on the other. For me, my primary in-your-face ‘problem’ manifesting is cellular edema, and a med on my lipedema with the statuette of queen that I tried to use as a power tool just had us filling up with water and then underwater, whatever that means except the obvious I guess. It does seem clear to me, though, that the energy I am clearly rejecting the most is the Queen’s water energy, which ironically is hence the ‘biggest problem’ in my life. This seems, in some fashion, to relate to all the stuff about ‘accepting love’ and tarot cups and element water.

I want to work through the tarot and that was next, so I’d just do it, right. No big deal.

Except I kept not doing it. On and on and on. And then finally yesterday I said I’m going to DO this, and in the morning, I’d had plenty of sleep, I had a little to eat, I was comfortable, and I sat down to do the meditation. And… four hours later I had not managed to do it yet. It’s just ridiculous.

So last night I was determined and… I was asleep eventually and it never happened. By that time it was pretty obvious that the degree of my denial was out of this world.

My conscious mind tries to invalidate all that — says it’s no big deal — but obviously it IS a big deal if something simple is that hard to get around to.

This morning I talked to Mark briefly and then insisted we just do it, and instead of being totally open to ‘anything’ I hoped it would just be an archetype meditation of the normal kind, and it was.

It was an oversized man who had all kinds of weird and disgusting things sticking out and all over him. If it were any worse it would have had to be a Tek (body) med. But I was sleepy and languid and in a good mood so I just talked to him and worked with him and we spent quite awhile on the four elements work until he was normal, and then we just hung around together. I asked Mark for a decent environment to be together in and I got a fair/carnival, so we went on a Ferris Wheel, and then sort of snuggled in my bed and talked for awhile.

I don’t really remember most of it, probably due to my state of mind. I didn’t get any sense of merge-rush at all at the end, though I did a bit with the water element. But I felt that it went ok, all things considered, and that I had finally got through it. I suspect that I must have done some work in my sleep with it.

P

Thoth Tarot Meditations: Cups
Thoth Tarot Ace of Cups
1, 2
Thoth Tarot Two of Cups (Love)
1
Thoth Tarot Three of Cups (Abundance)
1
Thoth Tarot Four of Cups (Luxury)
1
Thoth Tarot Five of Cups (Disappointment)
1
Thoth Tarot Six of Cups (Pleasure)
1
Thoth Tarot Seven of Cups (Debauch)
1
Thoth Tarot Eight of Cups (Indolence)
1
Thoth Tarot Nine of Cups (Happiness)
1
Thoth Tarot Ten of Cups (Satiety)
1
Thoth Tarot Princess of Cups
1
Thoth Tarot Prince of Cups
1
Thoth Tarot Queen of Cups
1
Thoth Tarot Knight of Cups
1