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I went to bed early with some brain techs. I was going to meditate but went out like a light for about 2, 2.5 hours or so. Woke up and decided after a bit of not sleeping to go to the living room and sit in my big recliner, which I sometimes sleep a bit in lately. Once I got there, I felt a nice sense of Mark and strong draw to him, like I don’t think I’ve felt for a long time. Seemed like a good time to do a meditation. Whatever Mark might want.

My mind fought me the moment I began. After letting go of all the “but how will I know what the meditation is ON?” whining — what difference does it make? It’s Mark, it’s working with energy — and I had to ‘reverse and rewind’ several times after things occurred that my mind immediately dismissed as ‘not real’ (despite being spontaneous and novel, the hallmarks of decent archmed experience) — we got down to it. It’s been so long since I did a ‘real’ med I was impressed at how well it worked.

*

I was outdoors like at the edge of a field, and entering a hallway of sorts, like made of flowering branches. It was very short, and I stopped in the ‘doorway’ of the other side, which was of metal, as if the wooden, vaguely-asian feel initially had been shifted from wood to metal.

I heard and slightly felt a “clink-thwomp!” as multiple somethings slammed into the doorway arch all around me, me too surprised to react, and then I stood there just staring in surprise at what seemed like multiple metal swords, as if they had been thrown toward me and stuck into the metal of the frame around me. I had an ‘association’ with a prior IG-led meditation that turned out to be something for tarot wands (it was not intended to be) where wooden sticks had slammed into the ground all around me. This was like horizontally and metal, but it felt kinda the same.

The number might be important, count them, I told myself, but as I began — already sure there were “more than 7, at least” — I was distracted.

A group of people on horses had galloped up near me, some were already present I realized, in armor, but all the rest had just arrived. My attention was arrested by a man I had no good visual on, but a concept that he was off his horse now, tall and stood very straight, and was walking toward me. I had the sense he was in ‘royalty’ clothing, like some kind of light chainmail vest but a light fur cloak. My attention was so strong for him I suspected he represented 3rd’s energy. There were two others I noticed, male and female, on horses nearby watching him come toward me, who also seemed ‘royal.’ All the others around just seemed like soldiers of a couple different kinds and stayed mounted.

The man came to me directly and just looked at me, me still unable to see his face but understanding he was telling me to come with them. He was leading a horse and I told the horse in a whisper, thank you horse-like being in this archetypal world, for carrying me, and I got onto it and he mounted and we all began riding across what seemed endless fields.

This is clearly symbolism of the Four, I tell myself, as the four of us and all the soldiers move along. I reminded myself that the time this took, this ‘travel’ was probably related to my ‘allowing’ and we’d be galloping all night if I didn’t allow properly, it always works that way. So I worked on this feeling, until I saw we were coming near a stone castle. I heard a shout go up from it, and was impressed that my audio was so good, given my visual was not. A big bridge was lowered over a moat as we got closer, and as the front horses hit the drawbridge, the sound was coming through so well.

The horses reached the other side, now they were clattering on stone, while we were still clattering across the drawbridge which was wooden, and eventually we were on the stone and more horses behind us and still those in the short distance in front of us, and I was marveling a bit at how I was getting the sound so clearly, all these different sounds at the same time, including the echoing of the hoofs around the stone corridors and the shouts of men now and then, as we entered a stone courtyard.

The majority of the men on horses simply turned them when we entered, and the rest following us did the same, and they all left, leaving us alone in the courtyard. People I sensed but couldn’t see took our horses as we all slide off them. The man who seemed to represent 3rd led and I followed, the other two behind us, as he entered a doorway in the castle wall.

We went down a rather cramped corridor, then down a flight of stairs, turned, went through a doorway he opened with a key, then down more stairs, and this continued for some time. I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t “allowing” enough of if there really was just a lot of “turn, go down, turn, go down” dynamics necessary for whatever it was. I nicely ‘felt’ the ‘going down’ sense.

We finally entered a room. It was square, all stone, and nearly empty it seemed like, but it was probably five or six stories tall inside. There were rectangle shaped windows up in each of the four corners, suggesting we were in a tower. I thought that must be more Four symbolism. In the corners of the room were these small tables, and then further in, there was this circle on the stone, with four short slashes evenly around it. Where each was, just outside the circle were tiny wooden tables. I watched the others and did what they did: went to the corner and fetched a tall goblet, a flat plate, and a tall candle, and there was a small bag in mine I also took, and I put these on the tiny table just outside my part of the circle.

The woman came and filled up the goblets. The other man came and lit the candles. I had a small bag of stuff that I guessed was something like a wood or resin incense and I went around and sprinkled it on the flat plate or disk like thing for each table This seemed so obviously “the elements” and yet we were so obviously the four, despite my feeling more like this was archetypal than quite as direct as the four themselves, that I had this sudden, startling realization:

Thoth Tarot Prince of Swords

Thoth Tarot Prince of Swords

Oh my god! He is Prince of Swords!

He turned and grinned at me in confirmation, which I got conceptually, not visually. I was truly surprised. First off, I didn’t expect a tarot med. Secondly, I had already thought maybe I’d do wands next. Thirdly, even if I did swords next, I wouldn’t have begun with that particular card, I’d have done ‘2’ since I’ve done Ace already.

He moved around our tables and put his hand over the incense on each and apparently lit or warmed it in some way because smoke began rising, curling in the air. I was standing right next to mine and immediately coughed a few times (in real life), and then sort of laughed at myself for reacting so promptly to the inner world.

We all went to the small circle — it was not very big — and stood back to back, holding hands, 3rd at my right, Queen at my left, Senior behind me, us touching back to back. I “allowed” myself to “be” with them as much as I could, and senior said something, and then queen, and then 3rd, and then I did, even though I didn’t know what I was saying, but I guess some part of me did. It felt like some kind of affirmation but in some other language.

And this huge… power, is the only way I can put it… came up through us, rushed up through us, and pushed into the air like spearing gold light, all the way up the many stories to the stone roof so far above us, and I had the sense of the light escaping the windows at the four corners and continuing upward into the air almost indefinitely, as if something you’d be able to see from miles away.

I got real physical rushing all through my body. This is the archetype merge, I told myself, as major fuzzes buzzes warm rushes rocked my whole body and crown chakra. I asked Mark for help in ‘being in it’ as much as possible and let go to just ‘allow’. This went on for a bit, until I was no longer feeling the rushing.

The light and power was not gone, but had changed now. It seemed like it was still all through us, and still very high, but now it was more like a calm glow, that was “a group” light and yet, we each had our own version, a feeling of concept that came through. We stood there for a little while, just “being” in the energy, the light, the moment.

Then each of us picked up our goblets, and drank down whatever was in them. I wondered if this meditation could only happen because I had finally finished the Cups series.

Then we did everything in reverse. The stuff I thought was incense seemed to be ash. The goblets were empty. We each blew out our candle, took all the stuff back to the tiny tables in the corners and stored it. We left the room, and did the whole stairs, corridor, door, turn, thing many times. I hadn’t paid real close attention coming in to the turn series or quantity but it seemed like it was the same. I actually kind of “felt” the “rise in elevation” for the stairs.

All the horses were back and mounted by those men, and the four horses for us waiting, and we mounted and with some men ahead and some behind, left the castle. Again I could hear the clattering of the hooves on the stone, on the wood, in the echoes all over the turns of the stone building, I was so impressed at how despite not having strong visuals — most was concept-visual in this — I certainly had strong audio. Throat chakra, I reminded myself. The humor is that I have never had this experience in real life, so that it was so clear and so 3d (immersive around me) was kind of cool.

They took me back to the doorway. I dismounted, and then remembered:

This is an archetype meditation — not a meeting with the four — which means although we did do something with the elements early, I forgot the part where I ask if there is something I can wear “on or in” my body of that energy to better absorb it. I ask the Prince.

He dismounts, and comes to me, and then I feel and ‘perceive’ that he has… really fast, it felt like ‘threw’ or ‘thrust’ — stabbed — a tiny sword, like two inches long and very skinny, through the piercing hole in my right earlobe, as an earring. It has a chain with some larger shape that stops at the front of the ear and the sword hangs down on the chain from behind, swinging from the momentum.

I’m totally shocked because I sense a slight pain, not literally but conceptually, and there is actually a little bit of blood! He does the same with the other ear.

But — but — this actually hurt me a little!, I whispered, still shocked.

Oddly, I was drawn to it. I don’t mean the pain. Much. I mean… I don’t know for sure, probably the dominance or the piercing or the marking or all three. I had a momentary flash of humor thinking that the time to discover just how kinky you are shouldn’t be in an archetype meditation, then I refocused.

Him: It is supposed to hurt a little. That is its nature.

Me: Swords is… wait. Really? Are you sure? (I was thinking, “But it’s just symbolic.“)

Him: This is not a ‘kind’ energy. It is not meant to be. It is what it needs to be, for the balance.

(I understand he means of the four, and of the four elements.)

I stand there and we stare at each other for a long moment. I think we are “sharing.” I am understanding partly from him, that the kind energies as we might refer to them — those were disks and cups. That this idea that swords and wands are merely “symbols,” that they do not have their own brutal power, in their own yang ways, is a whitewashing of both tarot and metaphysical reality. That if I am to experience and understand and master these energies, I need to expect that they are… challenging. I felt, at the moment though, fully up to this, and as if he was sharing with me that I was. I also had the sense that I, we, were “of” these energies ourselves.

The men who were in armor, dismounted, went up and pulled the swords out of the doorway where they had thrown them all around me, and put them away on their back and remounted their horses. Despite I felt he was more Prince of Swords here than my direct-3rd, I stepped closer to him and put my arms around him in a hug. Then I thought loving thanks at the other two, and I went back to the metal doorway, at the end of the flowering, branching hallway seemingly from another world. I watched as 3rd mounted and they all galloped off, then I went back down the hallway and out.

I found myself with Mark, in our normal place, the clearing in the woods with the big couch. I thanked him, feeling gushing-love for him, and begged him to help me love him more, and want him enough to meditate more.

Then I figured I’d better record this, because my meditation has been so sparse I tend to forget a great deal very quickly. I guess this qualifies as the Prince of Swords meditation.

Most exciting, it was a “real” archetype meditation. I’ve done so poorly with meditating at all, and poorly at skill when rarely doing it usually, that I’ve seriously wondered if I had lost the ability, along with losing all my muscle and more as part of the crazy health thing. I was just telling my best friend earlier tonight how it feels as if I am “starting anew” on every level — meditating and viewing as well as physically. Like it’s all connected for me. This at least made me feel like I wasn’t fully lost to meditating skill. I know Mark helped perhaps more than usual, but it worked out very well.

P

Thoth Tarot Meditations: Swords
Thoth Tarot Ace of Swords
1, 2, 3
Thoth Tarot Two of Swords (Peace)
1
Thoth Tarot Three of Swords (Sorrow)
1
Thoth Tarot Four of Swords (Truce)
1
Thoth Tarot Five of Swords (Defeat)
1
Thoth Tarot Six of Swords (Science)
1
Thoth Tarot Seven of Swords (Futility)
1
Thoth Tarot Eight of Swords (Interference)
1
Thoth Tarot Nine of Swords (Cruelty)
1
Thoth Tarot Ten of Swords (Ruin)
1
Thoth Tarot Princess of Swords
1
Thoth Tarot Prince of Swords
1
Thoth Tarot Queen of Swords
1
Thoth Tarot Knight of Swords
1