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Unlike all the other suits, I did not begin Wands with the Ace, and then go back to it as a wrap when the other cards were done. I began with Adjustment as a whim, then later IG4 directed a few: Knight of Wands (grueling), the Tower (also grueling), the Universe (quite lovely), during which I decided I’d do all the disks. That was a year to the month since the first card I’d done. Eventually after several disks, I decided to do the whole Tarot. (I was also told to do the paths and sephirot.) Since I’d done Knight already, for Wands I worked downward from there.

I’ve finally finished that process, as well as a nice four-meets-four of the Wands royalty and my Four, and so Ace of Wands is my last minor arcana Aeon, aside from my planned 4×4 with Cups. Thirteen years it has taken me to do the minor arcana in meditation format: initially in ‘Inner Guide’ structure, but later, just however IG, who at #4 was clearly angelic, and at #5 was revealed as my HGA, directs.

Some meditations take many efforts to get fully through. It may be a month to finally get to it, or multiple pieces, or multiple whole meditations. Eventually, I do get through it. Some are more difficult than others. Usually this seems to be related to me and my relationship, but there are some categorical things also: The court cards are usually more powerful for me. The few Trumps I’ve done, when I was able to do them decently at all, as much or usually even moreso than the royals.

The Aces are powerful, and I’m more aware of their ‘divine.’ That apparently found the far extreme on the last one: Ace of Swords looked like a high hovering white-light-escher-pretzel-knot with angelic-god-rays of some kind, and when I asked in pure awe and astonishment if she was some kind of Angel or something, she said something like I belong to a hierarchy of Beings which your people would classify as such.

Holy cats… and cards. Who knew??

Well, this is my first meeting with the Ace of Wands, and this will have to serve as the two meditations I did for all the others. I’ve been looking forward to it, while fighting resistance, same ol’ when it comes to most archmed work.

I was told by 3rd this morning to do a banishing ritual tonight. So I did an aeon and chakra and four round and showered and put on clean nightgown and went out to the screened porch for it. It’s a lovely warm evening. I modified the basic lesser banishing ritual to be mostly the Archangel calls in the directions, bit more. Later, I told 3rd I want my own ritual for that; I do not want to use the established thing, even if it has great power, and I want the four and Mark to help guide me toward what would work well for me and be fully within His Will. Then I put the pets to bed and went to mine to do the official Ace med.

Thoth Tarot Ace of Wands

In Mark’s room, with Sun and 3rd at my sides as always, I found myself moved to the point of sobbing in gratitude for what he has made possible for my life. And that includes having a life at all. Got my act together and began.

I found myself in a big cave tunnel, with fiery torches on the walls. I went through, finally reminding myself to ‘allow’ so it wouldn’t take forever, and finally arrived at a stone archway. All kinds of magical and obscure carvings were all around it and on the wall of it. I didn’t know what any of them meant.

I went through the arch and found myself in a large room. Torches around the room made it relatively lighted. There was a man on the other side, where there seemed to be some … not thrones, but not benches or chairs, something in between was the concept. And … tables or podiums, but not those either, just something in that concept range. When I reached the area, he turned to me.

He was… really short. He was “wizened,” with a look that was a little bit total child and a lot bit impossibly old. I told him I honored him, and I really felt it, still with the leftover emotion from prior with Mark. The I had the sense that maybe Mark had inspired this himself in me because he wanted me to still be carrying it when I met Ace. Like that it would do me good, in terms of Ace’s response to me, if I were carrying that energy. He agreed to let me share my elements, and I did this. I had some changes, but he did not really, except the “contradictory old/young” impression had left him, and now he just seemed ageless.

“Your form to me is surprising,” I said to him. “Ace of Swords was angelic!–well, as my people would think of it, she said.”

“I am angelic ‘as your people would think of it'” he said calmly, the quotes coming through clearly somehow.

I had this feeling in my gut then. Like information that was trying to get through to me, and I had not translated it to meaning but some part of me was trying. I ‘allowed’ for it, and willed for it, and then it came to me.

“You are… you are… a master at — well, disguise, or form, aren’t you,” I said in some wonder. “Somehow. This is… this is one of your… notable, recognizable qualities somehow.”

He shifted into a different man, tall and dark, who looked at me silently. I felt then, that this was somehow key to his nature and he was agreeing. (I don’t recall ever seeing or hearing this before.)

The rest of the information had finally come through my gut.

“Are you… are you a dragon?!” I asked in amazement. The feeling was strong. I wondered how such an idea would be coming through, since we already established he was from one of the heirarchies and dragons if they were real would just be creatures like us. So surely not!

But it was like, on some level in my gut, I could feel this pattern of… almost personality though that’s totally the wrong world because it’s too small by unfathomable orders of magnitude, but some pattern that matched. As if I actually knew dragons. Like they were real. And my gut knew them. And there was a combo like… fire, will, power, inherent sense of authority they had that matched his feel. I think in a less-perfectly-evolved being like a dragon-not-a-god, this would come across as arrogance and aggression, he did not feel like that though.

“In many worlds; not in yours,” he said. Oddly I felt better that he confirmed this strong feeling, but then more confused, and then I finally decided to just let it go.

We stared at each other silently.

Like a kid who can’t stand silence, I couldn’t shut up. “I once met Prince of Wands in a dream,” I said. “I — I was really… moved by him.” I felt so awkward. “I don’t know why I said that,” I confessed like an apology.

He briefly crooked a finger at me to follow him, and turned and walked straight back through another archway and down some stairs. I followed him, hurrying to catch up, and as I went through the archway and down a few stairs, i abruptly stopped, in complete astonishment. There was nothing under me for probably 100++ feet except the skinny staircase I stood on.

I was standing inside a… huge spherical cavern or something, that was simply huge. Sci-Fi spaceship hangar huge. We’re talking The Enterprise, not our shuttles. OK maybe not quite that huge, maybe 20 story building huge in each direction though. I was standing on a narrow stairway near the very top of this nearly spherical ‘room’, and the staircase was literally ‘in the air’ like there was no support for it.

It went down toward the center of the area, and there were uncountable other narrow staircases just like mine, winding up and down and sideways all over the place, like some kind of magical Escher drawing gone mad. Usually it takes 3D CGI to get me that kind of visual, and I did not have a ton of ajna chakra here, so much was concept. Seriously though if I’d had more it might have been too overwhelming frankly and I’d still be standing there brain dead in awe.

Finally my awe reduced enough my brain could start working again. I remembered that he is Wands; wands is the will, the magic you might say.

“Is this… illusion?” I asked him. He was about 20 feet below me on the staircase at that point.

He was abruptly right in front of me.

“Define illusion,” he said to me, and “pushed’ inside me so I felt what he meant: there cannot be any such thing as illusion in a world where literally everything is illusion — because there are no things, only energy; there is no space and time, there is only the now, the here.

“Hold onto me,” he said abruptly, and just as I barely got a hold of the cloak he was only suddenly wearing, we were somewhere else — a staircase slightly sideways on the other side. We “pinged” around the room. This went on a bit until I felt he was… actually showing me something.

I had the impression that every single step was like… like standing in another world. Like maybe in some perceptual models, a person might see lots of doorways, or lots of levels, or some other way of delineating different “primary dimensional groups” aka “realities” but here, it was this gigantic spherical room with the steps all over — like if you stood on step-X, you would be in reality-X. (I had the slight vibe, later, that my weird Escher sense, the sideways and upside down and such, might be some translation in a physics sense, like a sine wave, beat pattern, “perspective” shift to get to one world vs. another.) I also had the feeling that “perspective” — the term, as a model — was incredibly key and this is what it all amounted to.

You didn’t go somewhere to be in a given reality. You just shifted perspective. But somehow these stairs… of the infinite possibilities… were a finite set of pre-selected, specific perspectives.

He takes me through an archway into a smaller room and he tells me, “spine straight, arms out.” I do this (in my actual body as well, sitting on my bed). And then he does this incredible “banishing ritual” on and around and through me that was just… just wow. Just like totally wow! I really got the sense of the colors in the cards during that for some reason. That… was I’m pretty sure magnificently more effective than my own effort earlier. I wondered if IG had asked him to do this or he just felt the desire somehow.

He ports us to the stair side of the doorway we came in, and we go back into the room with the torches. I see the four were standing there in front of where we stopped. I looked at him beside me. “Those are my four,” I said, indicating them, feeling a little bit proud and admiring of them, and then realizing that… of course he knows this. “Join them,” he says with a nod, and I go to them and walk into 4th.

He lifts his hands, and the room we are standing in — not his part but the rest we are in — starts to change, until there there is open sky above us, and a round shallow pool of water in the center, and fiery torches all around that. We all stepped into the pool and sat back to back as the four, as we often do. And eventually we merged to 5th and 6th, and then to 7th, where we are some kind of energy pyramid. And I sat ‘being’ with that, to the best of my ability which is not very well, for some time.

I wanted to blog this so I didn’t forget and eventually senior said I could go then, and do that. I went back to Mark’s room, and thanked him again. Then I went and got my computer to write it down.

I was forgetting it as I was writing it and had to go back and fill in when it came back, I think the aeons are helping me. The energy was strong enough I will probably be rereading this post several times with almost no memory of the event before it finally sets in me. Then after I’d written most of this I realized: I forgot something! Oh man.

I went back to Mark. Can I… ask him for something else? I ask him, knowing he knew what I meant. I felt slightly… intiimidated by Ace, just the scope of his… power, and some glory. Like the ultimate CEO and rock star and more all in one, and I felt so… small, comparatively.

Mark put the fingers of one hand on my temple, and I closed my eyes and found myself there, in front of Ace, in his second form, in that main room.

I was abashed, and felt like an awkward kid. “I forgot to ask you for something I could put ‘on or in my body’ to give me more of your energy and help me integrate more of it,” I said, hoping that coming back to bug him didn’t seem… cheeky.

He lifts his hands to about his waist and I find my hands lift, palms up, and then these… tattoos, start appearing on my skin. They are the same on both sides. They start at my wrists, and they wind up in complex but rather ‘golden mean’ feeling pattern (graceful) with curves and swirls and points, to nearly the fold of the arm, and then I feel a larger similar pattern moving up the back of my arms to the shoulders.

When it gets to the top, I feel it start at the base of my hairline, a bit into it, and wind down my neck, and all the way down my spine. Then it starts again top back of my thighs and down them, and I thought it might shift to my shins (matching the pattern of the arms) but it didn’t, it went down the back of the calves as well. Then he put his fingers out and I felt it draw on my forehead, from my hairline to top of my nose, and I had the sense of the same spirals and points pattern.

And then he sort of flashed his palm and all of it was filled with gold intense light, and sank into me. I was somewhat awed.

I told him thank you and bowed slightly, and I did not get the chance to offer him something of me, as Mark pulled me back to him right then. I thanked Mark as well, and then came back to continue writing this.

It’s hard to believe I began tarot thinking it was a psychological exercise on the symbol of a card, someone else’s version of some idea… and have ended the minor arcana 13 years later feeling like I have been interacting with legit magical entities, divine identities, powerful gods-little-g and gods-medium-g and … honestly, we need a lot more gradients-of-g to cover this.


Thoth Tarot Meditations: Wands
Thoth Tarot Ace of Wands
Thoth Tarot Two of Wands (Dominion)
Thoth Tarot Three of Wands (Virtue)
Thoth Tarot Four of Wands (Completion)
Thoth Tarot Five of Wands (Strife)
Thoth Tarot Six of Wands (Victory)
Thoth Tarot Seven of Wands (Valour)
Thoth Tarot Eight of Wands (Swiftness)
Thoth Tarot Nine of Wands (Strength)
Thoth Tarot Ten of Wands (Oppression)
Thoth Tarot Princess of Wands
Thoth Tarot Prince of Wands
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Thoth Tarot Queen of Wands
Thoth Tarot Knight of Wands
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