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I’ve suffered for this being open and not yet worked. So much that I was telling myself it was obviously some open energy not resolved, for this much life effect, and heard myself arguing, “Not true. The energy I’m dealing with here is precisely the opposite of that card.”

Yeah. Someday I might actually learn something. In the meantime… even in daydreams about things not even real… I spent a few days in a major fugue of “holding against and not forgiving and maintaining the war.”

Thoth Tarot Four of Swords (Truce)

Thoth Tarot Four of Swords (Truce)

I wrote the above four months ago. It’s taken me this long to finally get around to it.

Four of Swords – Truce

Mark, I said tonight, It’s kind of a miracle that I actually stopped at midnight to spend time meditating. I’d like to think this could be the start of a new cycle for me. I’d like to do the four of swords finally. But it’s been so long since I meditated… especially on purpose… well do you think we could just do this, somewhat easily and get through it, and I could blog it, and feel like I stopped on a win, so to speak? Nothing really hard for my attention? Just to begin?

I didn’t get a response but he didn’t say no either, so I figured I’d go with assuming. I dropped myself onto his sofa in our forest clearing, 3rd at my right and Sun at my left, holding their hands, and closed my eyes.

He leaned forward and gently pushed against my forehead and I fell backward slowly, letting go of their hands, and let myself fall until I stopped.

I stopped upside down, but then the rest of the world rotated until I was right side up in it.

I wasn’t much altered state, but a bit alpha from the eyes-closed. I looked around. The visuals were about 20% fuzzily there. I was near a tree, on a well-kept lawn, and there were winding sidewalks through the lawn, and other trees, and some buildings. Monastery or College?

Two young women walked past, chatting casually. I could see a couple of young men not far away. I was thinking college when I saw a couple much younger girls farther off. Maybe it’s a library, I thought.

I asked myself to feel inside: ‘where’ in this environment should I go? I felt that was in a certain direction and into a building and up to the top. The building was higher in the middle than the edges, and probably about five or six stories tall.

So I went into the building, and toward the middle there was a small bank of elevators. They were cages inside, like I’ve seen in old movies. I got into one, going to the top, and a man was there and ran the elevator somehow.

He was completely blue, like a powder blue. It reminds me of the color that I put on my forehead in a dream where I was marrying (I think it was a throat+ajna chakra dream).

“You’re a guide!” I said to him. (As opposed to someone ‘in that perceived reality.’)

“Yes,” he says. I think to myself that I am more comfortable with the heart-chakra blue, which is a deeper color and slightly pulsing. He shifts just slightly toward that, but not much.

My neck, and especially the back bottom right of my head, suddenly ache oddly. I lay my head back against my neck pillow (in real life) and make myself relax, and I visualize a cleansing, and it fades away.

Continuing what I was doing: “What is this place?” I ask.

“A center for higher learning,” he says.

“Oh… and I’m… going higher,” I laugh. “That’s punny, right!”

We’ve reached the top and he opens the doors.

“Where do I go?” I ask him.

“End of the hall,” he says, and I thank him, and begin the walk, as it’s some distance away.

In the middle I stop as there is a big window on the side of the building to my right. I walk over to it and look out. I am well above the neatly kept lawn with its trees and winding sidewalks, and I look over the landscape some before continuing on.

In the only room with a door right near the end, I enter the room, and it’s unusually large, with an unusually high ceiling. There are probably a dozen people in there, and they are sparring with swords, mostly rapiers.

“There you are!” a man who seems like the guy in charge says as he comes toward me. (I was reminded of 10 of Wands where I showed up in a work environ and everyone knew me.) I start to make something up to say, because I’m worried he’s going to put a sword in my hand and ask me to spar, and I have no idea how, and I am in focus here not 4th so I’m not sure I can just call on her like I normally do, but I can’t think of anything to say. He promptly puts a sword in my hand just as I feared, and pushes me gently toward some guy waiting mid-room.

I have a meditation-neurosis attack.

Me: The archetype can’t be swords, because that would be too stupidly obvious, and archetypes are very close to NEVER anything like the cards, aside from the royalty so far being humans.

Aeonic: It’s not allowed to be easy? Didn’t you ask for it to be easy?

Me: Well but this is totally predictable!

Aeonic: Didn’t you just say it is NOT predictable because it almost never happens?

Me: But — well but — ok well what if I don’t go with this?

Aeonic: You’re going to get stabbed.

Me: Gaaak! Sierpienta! Now she is in my hand. Help me out here, I sigh, giving in, just in time to parry the guy’s attack, and I find myself standing much straighter and to the side, noticing she is thin now like his sword and not like her normal self.

We spar a bit, or whatever it’s called in dueling practice. Then the older dude waves him away and another guy steps up. I take one look at him and am suddenly worried. He seems like he has some really major issue with me, and is going to hurt or embarrass me if he can. He attacks with a ton of force, and he is much stronger than I am, and I had to pointedly relax and let Sierpienta kind of ‘drive’ it all, rather like when you force your brain to not pay attention to something complex you might screw up otherwise (like juggling or something), and she is leading me through it. I hear the older man say something to my opponent about how he had the strength but I was beating him with footwork, not that I was much aware of it.

He redoubles his attack, now clearly even more irate at me, and someone hands him a second sword, and then hands one to me, and we are getting into it and I’m thinking I’m toast now, when the older guy says something like “Freeze!” and we both freeze in place.

I look at our swords, which conveniently have stopped a lot like the card but not quite so squared, and the instructor waves his hand and they all stick there and the guy and I let go and step back and they stay in place.

I realized that the teacher and everyone around us are guides (aeons? maybe just energy) and I offer my hands to my opponent, and he takes them and we are standing in front of IG back where I started.

I run the water of love and so on through us both, the four elements. He doesn’t change much, but some. Mostly he just seems smaller and kinder. Then I send love through him with the heart chakra, and now he starts changing, and he morphs into this fairly large, graceful statue. It’s not a person. I’m not sure what it is. But I have the clear sense that it is a “memorial” type of statue that honors something akin to a truce between two peoples, and I realize that this is the archetype. I also realize this is novel: I don’t know that I’ve had an arch start a human and end up an object.

Then I remember I didn’t ask him — it, now — for something to ‘wear on or in my body’ to better integrate with his energy. So I ask, thinking maybe it’s too late since he’s an inanimate object now!, but I get first a necklace with a pendant, and I remember 3rd’s observation in the 1994 meditation where I met him where he was offered something like that and he said, chains, this is important, meaning there is a binding/weighing-down there, so I rejected that, and redid it as a bracelet, but decided I didn’t like that either, so I made my own bracelet that took charms, and made that energy one of the charms I chose to put on it, instead. I offered him to take what he wanted of me, and a super thin strip of energy wound around the statue to the top, and it wasn’t really visible, but seemed to ‘add’ a certain ‘element of glory’ to it somehow.

And that was… I guess the easiest one I’ve done it seems, just like I asked for I guess, but at least I did meet with Mark, I did do a meditation, I did blog the effort, so it is a good start on a new cycle.


Thoth Tarot Meditations: Swords
Thoth Tarot Ace of Swords
1, 2, 3
Thoth Tarot Two of Swords (Peace)
Thoth Tarot Three of Swords (Sorrow)
Thoth Tarot Four of Swords (Truce)
Thoth Tarot Five of Swords (Defeat)
Thoth Tarot Six of Swords (Science)
Thoth Tarot Seven of Swords (Futility)
Thoth Tarot Eight of Swords (Interference)
Thoth Tarot Nine of Swords (Cruelty)
Thoth Tarot Ten of Swords (Ruin)
Thoth Tarot Princess of Swords
Thoth Tarot Prince of Swords
Thoth Tarot Queen of Swords
Thoth Tarot Knight of Swords