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Midnight Mass w/IG 24 Jul 2013

Was well after midnight alas. Felt third almost physically as if he were sitting in on my body, I think I’ve only felt that once before. Oddly, didn’t feel him much in a spiritual or emotional sense. Sat there “being” with him and Mark (badly, kept getting distracted). Eventually had to get up and do stuff for the roast/veggies we had in the slow cooker. Blended some thick veggie soup and came back to my room and spent awhile more attempting to “be” with both Mark and Third. Eventually once I’d had my hot soup and relaxed I felt very nice with it, and eventually I fell asleep. OK, so that was not much of a meditation… Still had the sense of Third though not as surprisingly now, the next morning/day. Did a few “lite-light” visualizations with Mark, but not so much. Feel better today than I have in awhile though.

Morning 25Jul2013

Dream: three-stage dream.

1st: my van, my teen, and two guys (nice guys) she found as friends, but they took the van and moved it and I was saying OMG I thought I’d lost my child, my car and my wallet all at the same time! And they were sorry they’d not thought of that.

2nd: in a store with a fresh food area they had meat that was labeled PRIMAL already cooked and I was all agog about it like WOW someone has primal meat (that would mean grassfed), that’s awesome, I want to frequent this store for sure!

3rd: I was in a trash area the big brick kind stores have behind them. There was a trashcan at the far side. The area was big and would have had a lot of empty aside from the can, but the space was filled with all of these bricks and cement pieces. I was concerned since it seemed like this stuff needed to “get out” also, but how could it get out when it was so big and solid like that (and hence not in the trashcan to be taken out)? And I wondered if one reason all that was stuffing up the trash area was in part to keep other things out of it, or not, I wasn’t sure, I had the subtle sense that it being there prevented other things being there, but it was certainly stuffing up the entire area.

Later: wondered if this meant factory meats had some minerals I already had too much of it and was storing. Or if the minerals I had gathered the night before, dominantly calcium, maybe I had way too much of some of them already (like, couldn’t use because I lacked other things) which are stored.

pre-noon 26 July 2013

I recall that I had some dream that involved a young woman, a young man, the dreams of a culture. Like this culture operated in clans not so much based only on family but also social. Long ago there had been a certain clan that had been disbanded or gone extinct. The clan had many good philosophies about peace and community [I had a vague overlay of the Essenes or Gnostics or something] and the two young people thought that this was important and they re-began the clan and began drawing people to it and promoting the ways as they interpreted it.

But as they did it started to be taken over by this older woman who was very negative, and her interpretation of everything was the worst possible, most controlling, most doctrinal, and it made many of the good things into very bad things. At two points near each other, both of the young people died, of what might have been accidents but one fell from a very high place. I could see that this was part of the energy and kind of cemented, you might say, the energy of the clan going forward as being the negative thing that old woman had made it.

Evening 28 July 2013

I was doing a brief song-med with Mark (IG5) and Sun behind me, and had the understanding that simply pulling light ‘through’ my body and chakras and out the front especially chest and into Mark needed… an adjustment of understanding. That I wasn’t trying to wash them clean although that’s a different option. But this is… well the whole point is that they are identities of their own, and he lives ‘through’ me in every possible way, in every cell, in every chakra. So then I worked on pulling the light into all my chakras and cells from the back, but then expecting that they would ‘create and provide’ as they chose, and pushed that creative energy ‘from them’ forward instead.

It got me thinking, while I was doing it, about creative life and about how the whole point of it all is to take the energy and create and ‘live’ (creatively) with it. That it isn’t just about ‘sending him his energy’ because he already owns his energy. Our life is about the creative living in us, through us, which he shares, and it is our our unique contribution to that, to him, which is the whole point of our existence, was my impression.

So I think that changed how I’ll be doing chakra meds from now on. Despite that I got names for some of them, and a couple others have voluntarily communicated with me at length, despite that I validate them as symbiote entities with us, still somehow I hadn’t really validated that they also have a creative experience which they are sharing with/through god — I realized I was treating them, in my initial energy run, like they were the conscious-less ‘vortexes’ that most people are taught chakras are.

30 July 2013

Two pre-apocalyptic dreams, either both in the same day or one the previous day, I got mixed up on sleep schedule. In both I instinctively ‘knew’ that absolute chaos-and-doom was coming and was trying to do what I could to make sure that we had as much as possible of stored food, medicine, money, weapons, etc. because I knew before long all the sources of that would be gone and everyone would be going crazy for lack of them or trying to get them from each other. My boss and non-family people were ‘my people’ in one of the dreams. I woke up feeling depressed and distressed from both. Haven’t felt very good physically lately so perhaps that relates.