In terms of profound, complex visuals, of staggering clarity and color and depth, this old meditation remains probably the #1 most utterly mindblowing one I’ve ever had in that category. Ever. This was a RELIGIOUS experience it was so intense and astounding. The body, up close and personal inside, is beyond merely amazing. The ‘deva’ aspect was awesome and completely autonomous (that is so amazing when it works that way!).
Journal Fragment, January 9, 2006
The last two days my meditations went nowhere. Literally like the battery was 100% run down. I just sort of existed there and did nothing. But I did make effort as I want to stay consistent.
Today I went in again and I’ve been impressed with how much my visuals, their intensity and detail, has suddenly amped up. It’s like that part of my brain or chakra are just wired for speed now.
I went in and got Brin and Stets (my outer guides) and had the feelings that I needed to do another inside med. Recently in my sacred space a sort of dimensional doorway opened up like a big crack in the plateau, in the middle, and we jump in, and slide down this literal slide for quite awhile, and turn and twist etc. Kinda fun. We end up way deep ‘inside the earth’. Today I had a little time for a meditation and we slid in and landed in a strange place.
It was nearly dark but a tiny bit of dim light roved seemingly randomly. About 4′ in front of me was a wall that seemed metallic, maybe copperish or something. The whole environ was “dank” is the word. Out of the darkness pops up this creature. I nearly laughed. I knew immediately that my recent review of the children’s Spiderwick Field Guide (a novel set) and its fantastic creatures had helped my imagination with this one. It was like a human-sized frog. It stood on its two hind legs but they and the arms were long and bent, so it sort of squatted. It had a head more rounded like a human’s than like a frog, and it had eyes way too big even for a frog. It was actually so ugly it was cute. It was perfect for the dark, vaguely wet environ I suppose. I forced myself to show respect and be polite, which is interesting; this was not an archmed, it was just a med in a similar format.
He walked to the side (I had the sense there was a wall near to our back, it was a real small place we arrived in), and we followed, and I stuffed both my guides astrally into my body as if I were a suitcase because I wasn’t sure what was going on and just thought it would be more convenient for them. So we go left and there is this lighted doorway, and I figure we’re going through it, but just as we nearly reach it he turns, and reaches up — his entire body extends to like 3 or 4 times its length to go way high on a ceiling — and grabs a ring, and pulls down a part of the ceiling that is like a ramp staircase.
I start going up it and realize he isn’t coming with me. He waves me on and I understand that this is his world and he can’t leave it. I am totally mystified at why I ended up there. Anyway, so I go up the stairs and they are closing so by the time I’m to the top, the floor has closed up behind me, and I’m facing down a hallway.
At the other end of the hallway is an amazing colorful whirlpool energy vortex or something. I go down the hall, confused as sometimes it seems there are doors beside me, and sometimes not, and it seems very windy in there somehow. I get to the end and I feel I ought to ‘knock’ like that is a door, but where?! I’m not even sure it’s safe to put my hand in it. So I finally yell, “knock knock!” 🙂 And the energy stops motionless and then parts from the center and opens up into a doorway.
Standing inside the doorway is another incredibly unique creature. He seems to be made of ice, but he is not cold. He is stiff, to say the least. He’s like a human with a vaguely iguana-like head. He doesn’t look so much ‘blocky’ as ‘spiky’ to me. I’m not sure he’s my friend frankly, as the look on his face is a bit, er, stiff. So I step in the doorway next to him and just look at him. He leads the way down yet another hallway. Geez will the hallways ever end!
So awhile later I realize we aren’t getting anywhere. Then I have this “insight:” that when a creature is leading you somewhere, it’s very important to concentrate on ‘the sense of being led’ and ‘the sense of following them,’ because what’s REALLY going on is, they are trying to “tune you” to some specific ‘frequency’ or whatever, and they need your attention to make that happen. I had been kind of wandering mentally. So I pulled my attention in, and a few seconds later we arrive at another doorway.
It is opened by a perfectly normal looking man, like some respectable wealthy brit or german dude in his 50’s, with a beard, who welcomes me and holds the door open. We walk in, and I look at the ice-not-cold-creature and it melts away into water which is then absorbed into the floor. I look over at the guy, who seems pretty damn normal compared to the previous froggish and then lizardish critters, and he is quite communicative. He has a british accent!
He leads me up to this huge circular inset. I look over the edge and my mind was SO boggled. I mean literally it was almost too much input for my brain. There were several rings on the outside which were going in different directions, but each changed now and then. On the inside was a vast array of individual somethings, like flat or slightly concave buckey-ball shapes. There was this big circle of color, but there were many colors involved, and different depths, and it was just SO COMPLEX that I am not kidding, it is like 10x more complicated than the most amazing computer-video-movie graphic shot you ever saw in your life.
The actual feeling I had was AWE. Like this was the most incredibly complex, beautiful, amazing, alive sort of divine machine-life-thing I could ever imagine!
Over at the far side of the circle there was this sort of box… thing… and it seemed to have like a small whirlpool that was keeping a stored collection of fluid ‘fresh’ there, and then I realized that:
a) the lizardish guide had been an entity created of “temporarily very solidified water” (not like creatures in the movie The Abyss. He was actually hard, and just vaguely blue.) from this place, and
b) this ‘place’ was what we humans would call a tear duct, which led to my realization that
c) the utterly amazing circular thing with all the color and levels and panels and such was an EYE.
“I’m in my eye?!” I say to the guide in total astonishment, and realize as I do so that this is a pun of sorts.
“I thought I was doing a meditation on myself,” I said. “I mean,” I correct myself, “Myself like, well you know, my internal self. No wait, I mean, well of course my eye is myself and internal, but I mean, like my, my psychology or spirit, like who I am.”
I forget all the detail of our conversation — he communicated really well frankly — but it essentially boiled down to
1) The ‘eye’ is both symbolically and literally the “I” in many ways, and
2) All the things experienced inside the body (like the creatures and places), although they are “on one level” all about the biology, “on another level” they are actually entire worlds of their own.
[Later edit: just to underscore the second point: so yes, a clump of cells CAN be an entire world with a ‘captain of the guard.’]
So we go back to the big inset — there is more going on down there than I can begin to describe — and he tells me that due to recent major adjustments in my “I” thanks to meditations, that significant internal restructuring of my eyes are happening as well (maybe in ways not apparent on the surface-body of course), and it would be very helpful if I would lend my “attention” (read: energy) to the process of getting it done.
I’m so amazed by the sheer enormity of this entire schema, it’s like “biologically-industrial on the size/scope of spaceship hangars” or something, I keep finding myself overwhelmed and just thinking to myself, even saying out loud with my physical body, “Wow. wow! wow! wow!”
He says there are far too many details for me to attend to, and so instead there is an area where stand maybe two dozen creatures, which to me have a vague connection to a pretty young female in an all-white nun-style habit, or in any case, something where her head was all-white and sort of stuck out at the sides in some odd way (it had that sort of ‘flying nun’ head-shape, in a way, or like something sticking out the sides like wings).
He told me this was the “devic representation” of all the details. I had a sudden thought and laughed, “The Devic Kingdom of ME!” and he grinned and said, “Yes, that’s it exactly.” (I now understand that artist Michael Parkes is in great part painting devas!)
And so I realized I didn’t have enough time to do the whole meditation which was looking pretty lengthy I guessed, so I pulled out a scroll from in my jacket (I meant a checkbook, but it turned into this big scroll and quill pen) and I wrote a big blank check on it that read:
“Please give ‘the devic kingdom of me’ whatever energy and attention it needs to complete the processes necessary as dictated by this guide, related to the eye(s). Any energy that exists in me to be allotted, if they request it, please give it to them. signed, Palyne of ME.” It was so funny, the feelings while doing this!
So I gave him the scroll and I say, “Will this help you in any way?”
He said, “Oh yes, this will give us the energy we need — but mostly, this will help politically, enormously.”
“Politically?!” I say, not sure if I should burst out laughing or be stunned. “There are politics involved in running my body?!”
He looks at me and says drolly. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
Then as we began to turn back toward the door, these … “motes of light” that were like light-orbs began flying into or from, I couldn’t tell which, the giant round area that was deeply inset (below the level where we were standing).
“Wow!” sez I. “What is THAT?!?”
He kind of smiled and said, “If you wanted to watch all the processes, you could be here all day. You do have to leave, I believe.”
“Oh yeah,” I say sadly, turning reluctantly away from this amazing myriad of color, shape, form, function, etc. and we go back to the door.
“So you’re… you’re like a devic kingdom creature too, yes?” I ask. He says, “Yes of course.”
I say, “Like the hard-water-creature that guided me here?” (The thing appears again just then as we reach the doorway, literally re-oozing out of the floor and reconstituting.) “A bit more complex,” he says drolly with some humor, and I realize this is a light-years understatement.
I tell him, “Will I see you again? Or do you work just in the eye area?”
“I represent a body-intelligence,” he says. “We will probably meet again. I may not be entirely ‘me’ next time.”
(I understand what he means. His identity is a variable, the energy compiles in different detail, but the primary energy is core and still there.)
“Can I come back directly here?” I ask him. “Without the… travel?”
“Sure,” he says, dismissing the lizardishhardwaterguy with a nod who melts and absorbs in a blink. “Now that you have been here, just focus on the memory of here, and you can come in and out. When you haven’t yet located a specific focus, the guide is usually needed.”
Thanks, I say, and he nods, and I close my eyes and imagine myself popping out of the briefly-open crack in the middle of my plateau.
I “unpack” my outer guides who look at each other, then me, and then just walk away! I think they probably need a stiff drink after work tonight LOL.
Anyway the thing is, because I really am putting bigtime energy into ‘growing’ this whole world again, and doing this at least daily if not more often, the “autonomy” and the richness and detail is just amazing! I mean literally amazing. I desperately wish that I could somehow share these visuals with others, you’d be so blown away.
P.S. As an addendum, it was a month later that I saw in my optometrist’s office a special on LASIK. I actually had not considered this seriously before and normally could not think of affording it. But due to unusual circumstance, the price was very low and I had a bulk of money right that moment and I was instantly convinced I HAD to do it. In early March, I had the procedure done, and my way-beyond-legally-blind (but correctable) eyesite was radically improved to 15/20 (for awhile). So it seems like “my reality” shifted to fit the greatly improved “eye/I” this was reflecting within two months.