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Re-reading the blog, I took notes. I came up with a list of things which I should have followed up with and didn’t, which I was told to do and didn’t, which I did but never finished or got back to.

I consider this the catch-up or clean-up list. I would like to get through most of these as my priority over the next while. There’s quite a list but I think if I just get to it, it’ll work through. After all this time, maybe I have already mostly integrated this stuff naturally by now anyway.

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My right leg: “It’s a whole world on its own I thought, at the same time as inside my head, a ‘small planet with amazing colorful social spaceport’ image + concept bloomed, replete with the sense of moving hovercars and more below.” Use that imagery and meditate on this like I was supposed to when I rejected it.

“Today I was nearly asleep when, like a mini-dream, on this street that I visited yesterday in another city, I was walking near the corner, when around the corner incredibly fast came (of all things) a modern train and it ran right into me — or at least, the total shock of the fact that I was suddenly being hit by a modern train was so severe that I literally leapt up in defense-panic reaction just at the instant when it would have done so.” Meditate on WTH this means and resolve it.

From archmed authority and helplessness: “I felt nothing, I said flatly. Something just doesn’t seem right. I don’t FEEL anything. No shivers, no rushing, no warmth. No sense of merging. NOTHING in my body — nothing at all. As if the entire experience had zero kinesthetic element. As if the entire thing were mental and less real. Tonight’s work, I mean. I know it is just as valid; it was just as spontaneous as other good work, I don’t doubt the soundness of it. Only that it seemed like I should be feeling something more physically and I wasn’t. Yeah I know she has told me more than once that ‘feeling’ is not the proper measure of what has value or has worked. But this feels like it ought to have been present. Somewhere. Like I am just not DONE with this until I FEEL something. And I know that but I don’t know what else to do. I’m missing something. I told IG I would return later. The archmed is done but there is something I need to do that I haven’t yet grasped.” Meditate on this with the Four and ask for insight/direction to resolve it.

…”and I was screaming, get it off me! Get it off me!” — Do the arch work with MY archetype of performance.

Work out “how to work with” space archetypes. I’ve told IG I don’t like them, don’t know what to do with them. But this is closer than many other symbols to core geometries. Do a session asking for insight on “how to.”

I went into the waiting room and found myself instantly trapped in a weird prison. Another woman stood helpless in there and clearly unhappy about it. “That’s implant #25,” the woman said in disgust, about the pretty woman who’d gotten X’s attention. “Impl– you mean this is a dream, and this woman is like a thought form implanted into the dream by an outside someone or agency?” I said in astonishment. Meditate on Dream Implants: ask for help in making myself able to recognize them, avoid them, and escape traps.

Meditate on the animals I’ve eaten.

Meditate on the ‘fear of success’. (That was the fishy-head arch I danced with.)

Meditate on abreactive shunting-off of energy.

Meditate on eagles, and to a lesser degree, bats, that energy.

Meditate on “all the sleep that I’ve missed.”

Do one or more archmeds specific to allowing and integrating with the energy of each of the Four. And each of the Aeons.

Me: How come I can talk to you now and used to never be able to hear you? Nero: You decided to allow that. IG: You […something like, do not allow yourself] new information via audio. Meditate on “allowing myself to perceive and accept new information, including via audio.”

Meditate on “the energy behind my self-destructive behavior.”

Meditate on “allowing myself vulnerability.”

Ask Oliphant (the small-elephant guide) what he works with me on.

Ask the “Instinctual things, habitual, ritual, things, and natively programmed instincts” guide what a name can be and what he works with me on.

What does the ‘stacked disks’ symbol mean? I have seen it in the focus meds on both Bo and Ith and in other contexts. Meditate on this.

Do an archmed on problems with memory related to dreams and meditation.

Ask the Private Oracle (specifically), what else can I work with IG on besides archetypes and aeons?

Meditate on “my resistance to evolution.”

LaeLee… had made me spontaneously think of a part of me I call a ‘possible alter’ many times, and she had told me that I could do an archmed on that if I wanted. Meditate on that.

If the root of every problem holds the key to the solution, does the root of my being fat hold an answer to it? Meditate on that.

Meditate (get back to) the archetype “of my extra bodyfat.”

I got the idea to meditate on Thoth’s “Adjustment” and its deeper archetypal meaning. I realized that IG is the source of these spontaneous insights… Meditate on this  with the specific of ‘and its deeper archetypal meaning’.

I looked around at all the (outer) guides that always start appearing the minute I show up there. I wondered again, what if anything I’m supposed to be ‘doing’ with them — what is the point of it all with them — and I felt as if IG were thinking through me that I should meditate on this. Meditate on it!

[3rd of 4 of ‘knight of wands’ arch] … As he did not ‘change all the way’ to normal in some fashion I felt like maybe I wasn’t succeeding, but he suggested, ‘Maybe that is the way I choose to be.’ I had a sense then that just because something is not ideal in my opinion doesn’t mean it is bad. I had the sense that the heavy thick bone he had was like a result of my childhood somehow, and so you might say, it was a little heavier than it should be, but it was also stronger, more powerful, and maybe he chose to keep that power/strength rather than be what I call normal or better looking. Seems an obvious relation to my body. (Note to self: meditate on ‘heavy/thick bones like that arch’)

(IG:) You need to FEEL inside you for what is outside. You need to FEEL whether a visualization is working for real or is just an exercise. You need to KNOW, and trust that knowing, when something is not good for you, and not allow yourself to accept things that harm you. (Meditate on increasing and clearing the feeling/knowing of the nature of things, of intent, and the nature of our relationship.)

This dream comprises energies said to be as big an effect on my life as that with Marcan (which is huge). http://www.palyne.com/blog.psiche/mercenary/ Meditate on this!

Meditate on copper! (The element)

P