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Twice a day, 10am and 10pm if I’m not busy, I spend ten minutes “be-ing” with the Four. If I’m busy then I do it later, earlier, or spend 20 minutes on the evening version. It’s usually quite dull to be honest, I have to work very hard on keeping my attention there (and still do poorly, but I am only just resuming the practice). Tonight, I wandered into the process of it, had a double shift, as I got up early then napped through the 10am time.

Once I got to standing in the opening to my upper torso tunnel, looking out over the landscape of the chakra gem world, I talked with Alaya (heart chakra) some. I simply wanted to mention about how I am supposed to have lost all the pre heart-surgery edema by now, and aside from a much smaller leaking my heart valve is supposed to be fine now, and yet there is still SO much on me, and SO much regularly created. (I have never had a follow up to the surgery. Not even the normally required one 3 weeks after. It’s been 3.5 years. Never mind the boring $/location/insurance reasons why.) Apparently I was vastly more upset about it than I realized, because I ended up crying all over him about it. Sigh.

I spent some time talking to the functional identities about viewing. About how I so hope they’ll work with me on it, and how fun it could be, and how I hope I could get to know them and their nature lots better as part of that. Which made me wonder: what IS their nature, anyway? I’d just been writing earlier about inorganics. I don’t think they’re in that category.

I know that Nexus, she is part of Dominon the Larger’s energy as well as part of IG’s. Someone told me that, not sure if it was her or someone else. The looking glass triangle said it was of the nature of Merkaba, although honestly I have no idea what to do with that info, but I guess at least it’s a clue. The lighting sand glass is IG’s energy, the Queen’s statuette is her energy, the Four’s statue is our energy, I have no clue about the wand but I suspect it’s from the royals of the Wands suit (humorously appropriate in that case), the moving coils in my hands/feet/eyes were from Ace of Disks, Sierpienta the sword/woman who knows but it’s hard not to assume she is kundalini related. They are all ‘identities’ despite being functional as object-tools. But perhaps anything with a sufficiently dense amount of energy of that sort is an identity.

So normally (and yesterday) we usually just sit together back to back like the statue they gave me, but today Senior (King) ported us to a room. It was a tack room — wood in a wood structure, with the sound of voices and movement in rooms around and outside, and I expected horses.

But when we got outside, the animals that were saddled — sort of, a rather unique sort of saddle that belted you in across your back as well — were… er. Different. They totally reminded me though, mostly in the front half of them, of these creatures in a Michael Parkes painting. He paints the devic world, clearly, as I have internally seen creatures very like he paints long before seeing them in his works. It was like a cat, except in this case it was a horse-sized cat, white or light colored, and it had limbs that were more like a cat than a horse but it seemed like it had hands. I wondered if this was simply something normal in that world or something my brain was making up for unknown reasons.

They galloped, but smoothly, and then we came to this big canyon but it was totally circular, and the horse-cat-things just swung around grabbing these ladders that were on the sides, and went down them kind of like a person would. We got off them at the bottom and they climbed quickly up the ladders and disappeared.

There were four chairs for us, that were connected around them, and we sat in them, our feet each touching (legs apart) and our hands held (arms over the connecting areas between the chairs), and right between us was this standing… it was kind of like one of those cup trophies, the opening of the cup was about seven feet up, and there was a major fire coming from it, and the word “brazier” *pinged* in my head.

I spent about 15 minutes there with them, during which I asked them something I realized I should be asking all the time: Please: teach me to pray. Teach me to meditate. Teach me to view. Teach me to be healthy. Teach me to be happy. Teach me how to have a life filled with abundance (and please let that include money, and 3rd’s energy in a person). Why is it that I go around like I already know all these things and all there is to know about them? These are the cornerstone basics of my life. I should always be asking for improvement (sharpening the axe) and guidance about them. I also told them that I want them to help me step up to my self and responsibility and commitment and consistency.

Then we stood up, and senior had us all put our hands up into the fire, and it was an interesting fire, reminds me of the one I’ve been to in a couple of meds on this blog, where it seems like it is somehow fire, and ice, and air, and dry, all at once. It appeared to catch our hands on fire, and then just “blazed through us completely” and was gone. Felt kinda neat. Not real strong for me.

Then the creatures were back, and they climbed up the ladders (more like monkeys than people if strength is the gauge) and galloped us back to the place. We went back into the tack room and senior flashed us back to the castle grounds. I hugged each of them and then went back to the cave-exterior of my tunnel.

I asked Alaya if he wanted to give me any shapes from the tunnel border to work with. He often does, and they may spark sudden intense memories from life, or emotions, or physical abreactions. He handed me one, shaped like a long flat tube with a short angled piece at each end. I didn’t react at all though. I was able to fold it, put it inside my torso, and allow-absorption. He said it was fine.

I wonder if eventually, ‘be-ing’ with the Four will end up with the kind of meditations I was doing with Senior (King) at one point — they were nearly like IG/HGA meds. I think the last one I ever did, was where he told me to go into a mountain, and bring him some of the gold. I found it, but I asked the mountain if I could have it, and he said no. I asked really nice and he still said no. I went back to senior and told him that and I had the feeling this was not the ideal outcome for that effort but I am not sure what would have been. Gosh that was so long ago. I am so overdue for my time inside.

edited Oct2020: I just realized: what Senior said was to bring him the treasure. I assumed that was the gold I found. Maybe that was not the treasure at all.

P