Saturday 14APR2012, IG Midnight Mass
I’d planned to do whatever IG wanted, but I really sucked at keeping my brain quiet. Every time I would start to relax I would be daydreaming. Mostly about food. I was embarrassed that poor IG had to put up with me. Good thing she’s angelic. Anybody else would have slapped me upside the head before it was over.
I was so upset about the “cheese dream” you see, that since I can’t very well argue with my body, I apparently took instead to fantasizing about some allegedly happier health I’ll shock myself into having as a result of giving up my favorite food in the world. Along with dairy as a category, if cheese is an issue, since I know dairy is but I’d thought cheese was ok. And of course, that’s along with the foods I’ve already given up, such as gluten grains, legumes, and anything carby enough to be truly delicious.
As I don’t care for vegetables without salad dressings that require dairy, and the other veggies I like are unfortunately not veggies (peas are legumes, corn is a grain), apparently this means I will be living on the 13 foods on earth remaining. I can whittle down my “shopping the borders” of the grocery store to simply buying meat and fruit. Imagine all the time I’ll have left in my life, previously spent on irrelevant things like, oh, food.
I was deciding that in compensation for my good attitude and dedication to the cause, maybe I would shift to eating many more carbs (in whole fruits for example), and perhaps body and I would compromise by seeing if there is any kind of fish I’m able to make myself eat that doesn’t have a McDonald’s breading and bun around it.
I kept drifting into this little cloud of futurized ozark sunshine where magically my weight/health issues vanished with this different approach to food, which led to the many details of my sooner to be ideal life, mostly that I would be infinitely cooler and people would adore me, and eventually there would be peace on earth.
Well ok not the last part but it could happen.
I can’t remember how but we actually did a meditation on my right leg. I started this once a long time ago and pulled up the same imagery (a very colorful vertical spaceport). My right knee has been oddly and frighteningly “weak” lately, hence the focus. I got a lot of rushing when done and then focused on the other leg and got lots more rushing, and then the whole body. It went ok apparently. I also can’t remember how but we actually did a meditation on copper, which I’ve wanted to for eons. I don’t remember how it ended up I think it went ok. I lose memory of much else. I eventually fell asleep.
Hoping it goes better next time.