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You see reference to the throat chakra in new age stuff, in old religious stuff. To hear people tell it, the chakras are spinning little vortexes of energy, and you’re supposed to “open” them. I actually have had that sense — their spin, and opening them, in an old meditation.

Apparently either nobody sees them, or nobody sees the same thing. Because the colors they are given, while they mostly agree on something like “blue,” vary so radically in shade, that it’d be difficult to claim people were experiencing the same thing. The shades are as far apart as nearly the most opposite human skins. It’s kind of a big deal, since their colors are part of the absolutely-freaking-incredible vivid-glory of them. They are so specific, at least to me, that I have concluded either they vary for everyone, or most people have never seen these visually and are just going off tradition.

If youtube is any clue, most people want to “open their third eye.” As if anybody would want to see what, and how, the ajna chakra is capable of seeing, even in my incredibly limited experience with it, without a lot more “grounded clean integrity” going on than the average person has. People do “really open it up” without that of course, sometimes. They’re the ones that end up medicated, or worse, I suspect. That chakra makes visuals deeply visceral. As if whatever you see touches you more deeply than sex.

Chakra perceptions are like an energy enema to the soul or something. Hmmn that does not seem like the best analogy.

Now, I don’t consider myself any expert on this stuff. I feel incredibly honored that I’ve had some opportunitites to meet and greet some “collections of energy assigned a title” identities that are “my chakras.” But aside from the crown, and more recently the heart, I don’t feel like I’ve had much in the way of, well, conscious communication with them.

So far I perceive the chakras as “entities.” Not merely symbiotic, they are part of me, although it is equally so that I am part of them. I consider them “the powers” in those old references to ‘the powers and the glories.’ They seem utterly huge compared to me but only on one bandwidth of my larger spectrum. They “thread through” all the “me’s” of the vastly, unimaginably larger self — every incarnation, every manifestation of my energy in a form that overlaps its energetic bandwidth. They are the “me” at “that place” you might say. I am the “them” at “this place.”

Perhaps that’s just me, though. Maybe it’s not like that for everyone. I don’t have anything vested in it being this way for anybody but me… it works for me, is all. Maybe because “personalization” is the way I approach everything, for me they’re personal. Makes sense. I once had rapport with a metal recycling bin, after all. Obviously, my brain is not too picky about making new friends.

They are simultaneously, as if merely “from another perspective,” uber-gigantic glowing gems in “the landscape of me,” planetary temples for the people who live there. That’s a whole other question (who lives there??), but if a few cells in my lower torso could be the world and person of the Captain of the Guard, then clearly my brain is also not picky about what it considers people, or perhaps what it considers “doorways to realities which I perceive “mostly like me” because that’s how I relate to things.”


As a brief review for myself, my solar plexus chakra, whose name sounded out to Kyana Daoen, was more communicative with me than the first couple chakras. He talked to me, invited me into his house, and then I got distracted (not in a bad way) but that wasn’t his fault. I discovered then that my Aeon Taan is heavily present there, and later that my Aeon Ithika is as well. I don’t know why, but I have no idea which of my Aeon(s) might be present at the heart chakra.

My heart chakra, whose name sounded out to Alayaowaeyiia, was even more communicative. And I perceived him “externally” as if he were an eight inch person standing on my chest when I was lying down, that was novel. I talk to him sometimes as if he is a guide. Because there is some “energetic overlap” with him and with the Sun archetype, and Mark (Inner Guide 5), and 3rd of 4, I think I just intuitively felt a comfort and trust with him.

Although his gem shape is the most glorious vivid blend of spring to medium green, his people (called the Themelians) either look royal-blue-and-pulsing, or they are multi-colored in variable size/shape stripes and patches, mostly with that green and the blue and other colors, and their skin is a glorious texture with sparkle. (It actually is just slightly like the visual effect of the vampire skin in the movie ‘Twilight’ except in super rich patterns of color. The author of that book said she got the whole story in vivid dreams, and that it went from her writing them down, rearranging them and finding an editor and publishing in like six months {pretty well unheard of} as if it were meant to be {obviously, given its success}. So perhaps there is some of her-version-of-heart-chakra energy going on or something.)  For me he is lean and tall, and stands very straight, as if his posture is righteousness embodied. I’m very affectionate about him. Which given the heart is the chakra of affection… makes sense.

He tore out a hole in my chest a few inches above himself, between heart and throat, and the matching back, which turned out to be just the shell of a cover over an ‘open tube’ going through me, like the open center of a torus. It is now much thinner than it was then, but still seems… present. It seems literally like the ‘opposite’ of a chakra. Like the “inverse.” Some people reference this on the internet, they make it green-blue. That’s logical. But for me it’s kind of no-color-at-all since it is “nothingness.” So far my only experience with it is that when I went ‘into’ the openness and then went ‘through’ it as if I would be going into my body, I instead went into space. And followed it as if it curved back around… to the same place. Like a torus of universe where the open middle goes horizontally through my upper chest. I still don’t really know what to do with this, or about this, or what it means. I googled and found nothing but nonsense when I found anything at all. I guess it might relate to daath on the qabalah tree of life, but I’m not sure. It gave me a handful of the tiniest precious gems of all kinds, as if they were the representative energies of the stars.

I don’t really know what it means or what that area is… “for.”


I had a dream I blogged not long ago where I was going to something like a marriage ceremony I was the bride in, and I put on the first half of the wedding garments (the gown, though another far more beautiful-complex tapestry piece would go over it later), and painted my forehead with this very azure-like color repeatedly. I was a little confused by this after, as I don’t understand why I would have been so obviously and repeatedly painting the color of the chakra of the throat on my forehead. I mean… it would seem more logical to color it on my throat, would it not? But I don’t assume to know, so, it is what it is.

Since that happened, I have had a growing number of tiny anomalies that I have finally realized amounts to experiencing the throat chakra. Does this mean that opening up (very literally, with a pickax!) that area between heart and throat has basically affected and begun to ‘open’ my throat chakra? I don’t know, but I guess it seems that way. I don’t feel particularly sure that my other chakras are particularly robust to be honest, although I get symptoms I recognize as awareness at the solar plexus and heart level, I am not sure that I can “feel” my chakras anymore (did 20-odd years ago) except rarely heart.

I’ve had more inner-audio lately. Curiously, not necessarily more literal audio. There is actual audio, then there is nearly-audio that is perceived as such though you realize after it wasn’t, then there is energy that is meant for audio which is “translated” by the brain after the experience “as if” it came through that sense even though you know it didn’t. I’ve been getting more of the latter two.

I was eating something and thinking about how it was bad for me, but damn it, it was convenient and I liked the taste. And then I took a second bite and I could truly taste it. As if I were “tasting the TRUTH of what it IS” in a literal way that words can’t even describe. It was so disgusting, and not just on “taste” levels specifically but also a more sort of “viscerally-conceptual” level, that I literally opened my mouth and spit it out and threw it all away. At the time I didn’t think anything of this except it was a bit offbeat. Only later did I realize this must relate to throat chakra too.

Then, recently I was in a meditation and I had this amazingly powerful, and super distinct, smell. And it wasn’t precisely a smell that I knew (not just a memory in other words) but close enough not to matter (the smell of the ocean when you are on the beach is unmistakeable); and it came back repeatedly, and so powerfully. I didn’t realize until later that this must be a throat chakra effect. I knew that sound related to throat chakra, but I never even thought about smell!

I have realized now, in “feelings” both physical and ineffable since then, that this area spans from my lower throat to my ears/nose level, that’s the range of it. It blends into ACKRCK (my brow chakra) just below the eyes, and at the point of the eyes it is fully in that chakra’s span.

Then yesterday I had another taste thing. We had some candy left from halloween. I didn’t get many visitors. We had some little candy bars and I was trying to talk myself out of eating them, but I finally gave in and grabbed the bowl of them and set it down by me, and I ate one. And at first, like the first chew, it tasted as it normally does. And then at the second chew, “I tasted the truth of its nature.” I just can’t explain it better than that. And it was so… so… oh my god. I mean, if you were to mix the taste of say, a plastic ring-thing that holds soda/beer 6-packs and maybe a little motor oil and maybe a couple offbeat mineral-rocks and several other things, and mind you that is just the tongue-taste because there was a whole other “viscerally-conceptual” element to the taste — it was hideous. I literally opened my mouth and spit it out, and then I threw the entire collection of candy into the trash, disgusted.

I never in my life thought about taste including the truth of the nature of a thing. It just never occurred to me.

I’m reminded of the brow chakra actually, because the visuals have that, that visceral-conceptual component that is part of it, like a whole other dimension of the sense that we normally don’t get, and you don’t realize how “shallow” our body perceptions are until suddenly one is not.

Today I could actually feel my throat chakra kinda. The last time I really felt any chakra, besides occasionally the heart, was over 20 years ago. So this was novel. And I realized suddenly that Nedlund, my Aeon, is part of this chakra and vice-versa: he represents ‘sound’ he told me. I have had talks with him but I forget promptly and don’t get them blogged. I have felt that “obviously I am just not as close to Nedlund” as the others. He, Calme, and Laelee, all feel quite far from me compared to the others, and I have difficulty with clarity or memory with them. Curiously they are all together on the left side in my sense-of-surrounding and my official circle-of-Aeons. I seem to have issues with my feminine side and vulnerability and somehow these are all connected, although I find that irritating and wish all this junk would just get over itself and integrate with me however it’s supposed to happen so I can move on. Yes, I realize that is probably not the right attitude for making it happen.

In the afternoon while working, I went to youtube and grabbed a ‘throat chakra’ meditation — they have lots of different kinds of binaural, isochronic, new-age music, frequency-specific stuff for chakras there, and they range from clueless to pretty decent. I tried out about 12 of them, and several were right on. I mean I could FEEL them and that they were totally affecting that area. Some I could feel how the tones affected more the higher areas, and some up to the brow, and some how some notes or percussion actually dropped it out of the throat’s area — like I was just totally sensitive to it for a little while, to what was “in its range” you might say. That was sort of novel! It was cool to be able to ‘feel’ it.

Then, I realized that I didn’t know what I’d been thinking but I had just gotten the message: SULPHUR.

I wondered what that meant. It seemed like it was a message to go ingest some of it. MSM has sulfur in it, and I think some foods.

Later on, like an hour or so later, I realized that I was “helping to construct” something in my head. Like me and someone else were working together on something. It was in 3 pieces. It was wider than tall and somewhat two dimensional, but I understood that it was ‘symbol’ of something real. We got the three pieces joined together, and then I perceived it as one piece. And it meant absolutely nothing to me. Like the most foreign of symbols. And then suddenly I realized it was a word, and it suddenly meant something to me, and I sort of saw-and-heard at the same moment somehow, QUERCETIN. I recognized that word, it’s some kind of chemical, in some kind of plants I couldn’t recall, but I think it might be a supplement or something. I have never read up on that particular thing.

I felt like it was a message that “I was being given” that I needed to ingest this for some reason.

At this point I was a little confused, so I went and searched on SULPHUR QUERCETIN and it turns out, red onions have a lot of this. Now the funny thing is that my shopping was Friday and I normally never have red onions and I even had some onions but I had this wild hair to get two red onions not even sure why. But so… as it turns out I just happen to have that!

I had to conclude that perhaps this was throat-chakra too. It was odd how I had visual/audio and neither all at the same time on that one. As if it were from some overlapping area between the two that is both and neither.

So, I listened to various stuff for the throat chakra on youtube for hours, whatever ones I really “felt” in the throat area, and I finally ended up falling asleep into a nap near the beginning of one hour-long thing.

When I woke up, the sound was over, but I could feel that I had somewhat “over-stimulated” the throat chakra, it was sore a little bit. I apologized at length and drank some water and imagined with Tek some healing energy there and it seemed to be ok. That was hours ago. I can kind of feel it again right now.

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED while writing this —

All this time I have been so confused about BUSM. I perceived her as the “mate” to ACKRCK when I first encountered her with IG4. She and he were standing in this plane IG4 had taken me to, and despite that IG said she was fine and so did Nero, I refused to let her be part of me. I mean I knew she already was, but I refused to have any part of it.

I later found and blogged how she was specifically at the lower throat, but she was also this shape almost like a pole that went through my body but ’tilted,’ so it came out the outside of my left calf, and the outside of my right throat. That makes absolutely no sense to me, but I see those shapes in the Thoth tarot, and IG has given me a few meditations with those shapes, so I’ve been holding out waiting for it to make sense.

I had rejected her initially, as I was having psychology problems then with accepting additional-identities. And then I had the first and only (really weird) experience where I woke up abruptly from a dream I couldn’t remember and my Aeons and chakras “told me” that I had been ‘attacked’ by an ‘archon’ who tried to get in, because my rejection of her created a ‘vulnerability’ in me at the throat level, but that they had stopped this successfully. My throat was really sore on one side, as if I were getting a sore throat.

I have apologized to the brow chakra, to the “mates of ACKRCK and BUSM” repeatedly for my rejection of her, and my rejection of him at the brow as well when he talked to me for half an hour and I refused to listen and refused to blog it, way back then.

Lately, I have several times told Nedlund I really want to work with him and understand him better.

A good visual of what the throat chakra looks like though it is deeper ever in motion

A good visual of what the throat chakra looks like though it is deeper ever in motion

The throat chakra, I worked with this at length in an awesome meditation with IG4 where I met another layer of the Aeons of 3rd and 4th. We did a whole lot with what was obviously that energy, the color is so distinctive, and it is “liquid” oriented. Even in the chakra-gem-world, it comes off as this multi-faceted gem, with the facet facing the top being much larger, and when you look down at it, it has a sense of liquid as well as light and energy and gem, and the motion and color makes it seem like you just want to fall into the beautiful, utter-purity of it, like it is a pool, like it is just so amazing.

Well lately I’ve often been ‘aware’ of that for some reason and imagining that and telling the throat chakra how amazing he is and asking that when he’s willing I would sure love to meet him and maybe get a name.

Well I have regularly, I mean probably 200 times, wondered when I was doing a brief chakra hello-scan, why BUSM the mate of ACKRCK was down there at the throat, because she was clearly the mate of the brow, which made sense to me because I saw the sacral chakra, Bessand Ari, as two (male/female) and my sense has been that the chakras somehow have the yin/yang mating going on. It just hasn’t been clear to me at all why the positioning was so odd, as she is not at the brow level. But I figure, who knows, right, maybe what I’m meeting are the ‘main’ chakras and then maybe they each have mates that are one of those poles or something, because there’s quite a few of them in the tarot cards.

But that must be what the marriage dream meant!!! That the throat and the brow are… connected. Or perhaps that is just my symbolism for when one chakra opens or communicates with the one next to them… how would I know. But I believed ACKRCK and BUSM to be “mated” when I met them; and the dream was all about the marriage and about painting the throat color over the forehead; so I think this is — I think somehow, I misunderstood all along.

I think her presence standing with ACKRCK and clearly being connected to him made me believe that she was “the feminine of the ajna chakra” because they were together and I already knew him. Despite that she was clearly present at the throat in my body, no doubt.

I mean, I assumed, and basically refused to change the assumption despite how clear her positioning was.

I’m such an idiot!  And I know this is right, I felt it the instant I got the epiphany.

So maybe this is why the throat chakra that I have asked for his name repeatedly, hasn’t officially met me or given me one? I already have the name. It’s BUSM. And comes across as very yin/feminine. (Actually, given the intake of the nose and mouth, perhaps this makes sense, now that I think about it.)

I don’t know why there are two-names for chakras below the heart, and one ridiculously nearly-all-vowels sounding name at the heart, and so far the capital-letters-feeling mostly-consonants single-names above that, but I assume this all symbolizes something in me, and I will eventually understand.

Oh wow. I’m just — I didn’t realize I already knew her — I didn’t realize he was a her — I didn’t realize this is why she is at that place in me — I didn’t realize it was she I was talking with and feeling with all this time — I’m so blown away!! That’s so awesome!!

I still have a vague sense of overstimulation at that area now, like maybe just working out too much when muscles aren’t used to it. Will have to do some more healing visualizations and prayers before I go to sleep here, shortly.


Every ‘element’ like table of elements, is an Aeon. I understand that now. And every molecule is an identity. I get it now. I’ve been thinking a lot the last few weeks, trying to understand this with Mark and the Four, how all these things. How my food relates to my spirit relates to my body relates to my reality.

I think that sulphur and quercetin must be, basically, “people I need to meet” because their energy could be very helpful to me right now. So eating a red onion is like… meeting a big family. And the ‘energy of’ those two things run strongly through them, as if you could see it in their coloring or features.


After I initially wrote this post I went to search google images to see if I could find a chakra pic that actually looks like this does to me in the gem world, or at least that specific color-blend. (Everything is always in motion, so they are not one color so much as a small spectrum of a certain hue.) I opened up various pages that had potential pics, and to my astonishment, in various chinese medicine pages, read about three things I have had all in the last week and would never have associated them with the throat chakra (but they did):

1. There is a place on my arm I don’t even know how to describe. if you put your left palm on your solar plexus and then with your other hand, put your right middle finger on the tip of your left elbow and your right thumb on the far side of the ‘line’ where your arm makes a fold; then you use your right index finger to find the middle-point right between those; then, going straight horizontally (compared to the ground) you slide your finger about four inches down, so you are on the outside of the most-upper part of your lower arm; well there is no word for me to use for that place, but that was it. It ached like hell. I gently massaged it a few times, wondering why on earth that particular place on my body would be aching. Allegedly this is one of the acupuncture points relating to the throat chakra. (Which allegedly includes lungs and arms in its ‘range of territory’ according to internet readings.)

2. For three days, my left collarbone ached terribly. I didn’t know how it could be possible to hurt it, given I’m so sedentary at the moment and hadn’t slept oddly or anything. This is also allegedly related to throat chakra.

3. If you put your left arm straight out front, palm facing up, then look at the area of your arm that ‘folds’ in the middle; then over to the far right but not quite the edge, inside the fold. I had this big blood blister there and I had no idea how the hell I got it — I swear it developed while I was sitting on my bed typing on my laptop — it hurt like hell, and I managed to vent it and it bled a good bit, and even Ry was horrified at how bad it was. Looked really horrible for days. Allegedly that specific area is also some kind of acupuncture point related to the throat chakra.

I hadn’t paid much attention to these things, so I hadn’t noticed that in the space of a week I had three serious pains going on “on the left side of my body.” Since the left is the side I seem to have trouble with “accepting” it seems, now I’m wondering if the throat chakra was starting to really energize or something, and these were the “resistance symptoms” of it. I mean who would ever think that an ache in your body or something could relate to a chakra?

Granted, in the Bewilderness days I used to get horrible crown chakra pains — as if a solid, and I mean solid as a rock, beam of energy was being literally forced “through” the top of my head and into the top of my brain. I mean it felt physical and it hurt like bloody-hell! But that was really obviously related to the chakra. The stuff on my collarbone and arm I would never, ever have guessed.

When I met Kyana Daoen, Mark had me talk to a guy who was a blend of the Narrator and Taan. He told me to say hello to the chakras every day like I should Aeons. And he told me that whenever I had any body symptom, that I should talk with the chakra responsible for that area about it, because it was part of their world. I admit I have done just a little of the former and not much at all of the latter. But now I’m starting to think that I was mistaken to have not taken this more literally and seriously, and that there may be much more of a relationship between our chakras and our body than we realize.


Well anyway. I admit that I never really even thought about smell and taste and the chakras. I knew throat and ears were the throat chakra and eyes were the brow chakra but I just never considered the rest, I guess!

I am crediting heart chakra and his opening that space between him and the throat for leading to this. Somehow.