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Rereading the blog, I’ve realized how much of the time my mail server was never working right, because I never got notices of so many comments.

KMG says: December 16, 2009
I actually knew a woman named Neshama. … I have some ideas about why you made the connection between the name of your blond man and the name the Urantia guy said — will get to discussing that later.

She did not, but I’m going to bug Kate and ask if she remembers since I’m still interested.

Mesila 333 says: December 12, 2009
…I thought you might find this interesting: http://choronzon.org According to the mythopoiea we’ve created, a continuation of what came before us, but not a repetition of it… Choronzon has been expulsed from the Abyss and now partially exists in the level of reality we occupy. He does not occupy solid state space because he/it is still a xenodimensional, but instead of “guarding the Abyss” his new bailiwick is really his ancient one: dispersing over-entropic “clots” in the flow of qi and the event streams. Trying to put this in one paragraph is difficult…

I saw the site, but couldn’t find an overview summary of the point being made there. I avoid immersing myself in occult stuff since my attention tends to bring so much into my head, I don’t want to spend a long time looking all over. Still I found the mention interesting.

KMG says: April 28, 2009
{quoting me} “If I’m doing archetype work and I have “left unfinished” some meditation, my thoughts will be strongly affected by this–the ways vary but they are seldom pretty–until I resolve that.”
{her} Really? Like how?…

It’s like my brain takes up the energy of the card. Sometimes, I realize something is going on, and sometimes I’m in denial, and I may tell myself, “Naw, all this is the precise opposite of that card!” and then I realize… and crack up. Basically you either get the focus or anti-focus of the card. And if I had great trouble with it (usually if I leave it unfinished that is why), on top of that, inherently with that energy will be turbulence. This can range from weirdness to worse.

For example when I began and could not finish the archetype meditation on what was causing my friend’s heart trouble (don’t ever do someone else’s archetypes, it’s a serious transference, I’ve written about that on this blog somewhere before), it was as if the arch hunted me. I had horrific nightmares where a person-werewolf-ish would kill people in the most horrific ways, and when I’d be screaming and hiding my eyes, they would force me to look, literally rewind (!) the dream to the starting point, zoom in (!) and then make me watch the horror of it. It was some crazy overdose on red-red-red. After all that trauma, then the dream would go into how I was going to be found out, and I would be blamed for it, along with a solid dose of feels like maybe it was me and I did this, it was just horrifying. I got to where I was terrified to sleep and nearly stopped doing so, until I went to IG, literally fell to my knees and begged to be freed from it.

Usually, they are not that bad. Sometimes I work out the energy in dreams, but they may be difficult. I mean, if the energy is positive, usually I just do the med and it’s over.

Usually it just intervenes in my thoughts. It’s kind of like it “adds a filter” but by filter I don’t mean excluding something, I mean a sort of distortion/addition/overlay effect. For example, in my first-ever med with IG#4, unfinished, there were these bizarre looking carnies in chaos (when the med finally wrapped, they were all graceful iridiscent beribboned sorts), and while it was open, many of my thoughts, daydreams, memories, just the normal stuff in your head through the day, would suddenly get a sort of funhouse-style ‘distortion’ of the face or shape of things. That was harmless, just weird and startling.

If it’s something like tarot, like say, a card such as failure or worry, I will literally run into every worry, or fear of failure and remembrance of failure, and things like that — it’s pretty obvious before very long that I’m just wandering in the energy of the card and need to finish the meditation.

Since I only tend to ‘leave open’ the things I didn’t finish because of difficulty with the energy, it’s nearly a given that it’s usually not very pleasant. It’s mostly just “adding turbulence to my life,” like I’ve passed into some artificial astrological phase titled “adding a mild but consistent dose of fuck it up and weird it out” to my life. So I take this very seriously now and I make a serious effort to come back to the effort constantly until I can finally finish.

KMG says: September 2, 2008
…do you ever come across thoughtforms masquerading as archetypes? … If I say “show me the archetype of …” can I assume that it’s really going to be an archetype and not some energy pattern that will really harm me? I mean, does just saying it make it so?

So this is where the whole Inner Guide thing makes such a radical difference. Of course, since many of us can’t easily see, hear, perceive at all our early IG(s) — except sometimes in the ‘somewhat waiting for me to prove myself’ sense — this is tough, because you’re asking someone to put trust in an IG they don’t have any experiential reason to put that trust in. Somewhere, there’s gotta come that leap of faith I guess, and it will evolve.

One reason Jung said this work was so dangerous — and it has often been considered so — is the lack of an Inner Guide, mentor, whatever model you want to put on it. It actually IS inherently dangerous without that, particularly in deep altered states, particularly with energies that are really powerful (e.g. Aeons of the Universe, not merely the personal archetypes of a bad day).

Although I think IG is there for a person anyway, I’m tempted to think that the person granting more trust in that might have better results, but I don’t necessarily think that a lack of trust would preclude good results, merely that it might complicate things, especially assumptions. By that I mean, you do have some responsibility for what you bring into your experience, but if you’re working on tough stuff, it would be easy to ‘blame it on IG’ in some fashion if you were in denial about that and expected him to somehow make it all sunshine. Now if you ask him specifically to protect you from XYZ, he will likely do so (although it might be better to ask for both protection and ability to lose the fear and be able to defend yourself adequately).

This topic of the inner guide is why Steinbrecher got Regardie’s strong support, this is why despite my gripes about ES on Jane/Seth I still respect him madly, because it seems like a small or no-brainer thing now, but when he worked out the IG process and wrote a book about it, that changed everything for people taking that approach. It’s like the wheel, it seems so obvious now!

If you are working with your IG and you ask for “my archetype of X”, IG is not going to hand you a thoughtform that wants to hurt you and is pretending to be X. Nor is he going to let it waltz in and pretend while IG, what, stands there counting stars instead of running your meditation? Haha.

IG is HGA. I didn’t know this for nearly 20 years. Apparently we are not able capacity-wise to fully integrate with HGA immediately, so we work through that development in ourselves, and our IGs change out as we do (age may relate also), until finally we are to that point. It wasn’t until near the end of IG4 (not long after I turned 40) that finally, after nearly 20 years of IGs barely ever saying a word about anything, she started talking to me — even giving me things to read. I assume the fact that I was often able to easily get names and more detailed info from the interworlds from then on is related.

The Holy Guardian Angel as the occultists call it, Atman as others call it, The Higher Self as others call it, whatever — there is no higher authority for us. It’s not that there is not greater consciousness — of course there is, even the Sun has a God, as he talked to me about one time — but I suspect HGA is the most intense energy we can have a relationship with, without vaporizing.

I guess my point here is that there is nothing in your existence that IG can’t handle. There is no protection more powerful, there’s no control more absolute. So if you’re looking for an avenue for exploration with a safety rail, he’s your ticket, even if you can’t see him. “Act as if.” Talk to him all the time. In your head or out loud. Assume he is there — he is — and do it, just like you would do with an archetype too hard to get near, to work through the energy until you can start getting more perception. Ask for him to demonstrate himself in your life, in your dreams, in your meditation work. Problems with trust are on my personal list and were even more powerful when I began this. I pity my IG#1 especially, in retrospect. I was so distrustful and invalidating about everything. I made a consistent effort.

But just to be clear… IG is just a label. HGA, whatever — this identity is inherently present with and attentive to you. Always. You don’t need to do archetype meditation work for this. You could talk to IG about learning to crochet, cry on him about your late dog, whatever — this is a divine identity with which we are bonded as part of entering into and existing within this focus-reality.

Nobody came up with it — Steinbrecher thought he did. I spent 18 years thinking IG was a psychological construct. ES came on the idea simply because other things were “in there” (the interworlds) so he thought a guide might be also. He didn’t invent it, he discovered it. And like me, he thought it was something else at first.

No religion owns IG. He is part of the divine of the system (planet and sun). Or, as St. Thomas of Aquinas (who was to say the least religious, but recognized this anyway) actually said about Angels, which is the same thing:

Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it… their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth.

I can’t even imagine my life or inner development without IG. It is so worth the effort to develop this relationship, even if it’s on things that are totally non-threatening for a long time, just to work on the rapport initially.

KMG says: September 2, 2008
Some random questions maybe you’ll answer when you get time, garnered from your recent posts:
[1] What is the use of archmeds for planets? Why are planets helpful?
[2] Or: “…for the creation of a novel experience we call ‘life and reality’. For I am divided for love’s sake, for the chance of union.” If the goal is union, why divide in the first place? Is the knowledge you gain via the journey to reunion really better than just being in bliss? (I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately so this quote was timely)
[3] What’s the story of the outer guides? I don’t think I read about them in the Inner Guide book so is this a spontaneous creation of yours or is it a concept of another discipline?

Alright, one at a time:

[1] What is the use of archmeds for planets? Why are planets helpful?

I feel like this would require an entire book to explain properly, for which I’m also not qualified. I suspect you’ll hate this answer but I just want to jump to the end and say because they are the gods of our system. They are the most powerful identities and have a profound influence on everything including our tiny wobbly little lives — well, let me back up, it is more accurate to say, not that they influence us, but that we are mutually influenced by some other factor, that results in a synchronicity between them and us, that nobody can yet explain, but is not that difficult to learn to recognize. However, you could think of them as the Aeon that manages a gigantically infinite spectrum of energy just like the tarot identities do. Except somewhat moreso (there’s only 9 of them) and somewhat more ‘immediate and personal and physical’ for us.

They are fundamentally a positive relationship with us, it seems. Sun is my favorite. Sun ‘overlaps’ with the energy of IG to a great degree. But all of their energy is present in our body, or to be more accurate I hope, the energy which composes our body is the same energy that composes their body, and much like the quantum experiments, the Angelic language, and so on, there is not really separation. Any time I’ve had something very serious to work on, my IG usually wants to bring in the whole crew of them.

Because I was so biased against both tarot and astrology when I began archetype work, I only did astro very rarely, mostly when brand new to the work so I sucked at most of it anyway for some time and didn’t perceive anything well, I wasn’t fluent most the time, so I didn’t really understand the degree of their power. Not until eons later when I was actually told to meditate on a card, did I come to realize, eventually, that the tarot were so powerful. And then that the planets were. I messed up badly on this point. 20 years of my life I could have gotten vastly more accomplished internally if I’d been working with the major sources of power, rather than merely little personal archetypes.

[2] Or: “…for the creation of a novel experience we call ‘life and reality’. For I am divided for love’s sake, for the chance of union.” If the goal is union, why divide in the first place? Is the knowledge you gain via the journey to reunion really better than just being in bliss? (I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately so this quote was timely)

You could have just tossed in “What is the meaning of life?” to make this list complete haha. That is a perennial question in occult studies. I can only give you my proletarian opinion and I am no expert at all. That the point of all this is the journey, is the experience. There is some saying I forget about how we are all an aperture of the universe perceiving, experiencing itself. Well things being new, and one getting to know them, explore them, have all kinds of different relationships with them, that’s pretty much required if the goal of That Which Is Source (whatever that is. I have no idea) is experience.

I suspect that much like I realized with me and my Aeons… we are not here for us, we’re just lucky enough to “get to” be here and to have an “us.” Whatever it is that brought about and maintains our existence is probably setting the priorities for these things. We are just the hapless proles on the bus, heh.

[3] What’s the story of the outer guides? I don’t think I read about them in the Inner Guide book so is this a spontaneous creation of yours or is it a concept of another discipline?

Now that I know my Aeons (which appear to be what Steinbrecher called House Guides), I understand that most the “outer guides” I worked with (to a surprising degree I had forgotten about until finding shreds of past journals) were my aeons. Back then I couldn’t see anybody, I couldn’t hear anybody, I could sense them and sometimes get some small tidbit (‘very tall’ or ‘orange’) about someone. Now and then I could see their mouth moving but I didn’t hear a damn thing from internal identities until about twelve years after I’d been doing this. (I am still astounded that identities talk to me. Just like that!)

After getting to know my Aeons, Nero showed up on my plateau one day and I said Wow, you can be here where my guides are?! And he said, “Of course. I am a guide.” And after one day when a couple Aeons did something with me that my outer guides had done eons prior, I realized: it’s them. It’s the same guys! I hadn’t known. I couldn’t perceive anything well enough in the early days.

Of course the Aeons are more than what we normally define as a guide (which is separate, not our own very composition!) but they still function as such, and they are our primary guides, aside from IG, through our lives.

But there are a ton of ‘guides’ possible, in general. I don’t know if these are aspects of us or what. I think they are. The term ‘outer guides’ though, simply relates to everything that is not-IG, and in my case, not my Aeons only because I’ve learned to classify them separately. Some are powerful and some are kind of trivial. Some help with daily stuff. Some might be dedicated to a certain aspect of our health, or a certain fraction of energy in a given category. Because “identity is a collection of consciousness assigned a title,” I suspect that a lot of different ‘groupings’ could exist and maybe it differs with the person.

On this blog I have a number of named guides that are not Aeons and not IG:

J’Rend (chakras)
Ronan (connection to all of self)
Oroln (ideal probabilities within self)
Responsibility (archetype friend)
RIH guide (instincts, innate stuff)
Viru and Mal (Aeons that are 3rd & 4th)
Shiante was the guide to help to true self
Kyalea, Stet, Tek
Monde is a part of Dominon
Rolle (‘exceptions’ but much else)
Oliphant (both a role and name)
“Den” Guide of things of which I’m in denial
Guide that sometimes looks like a Collie
HER (hold-evaluate-relay) parts of self

(copied from my spreadsheet ‘parts of self’)

And besides that, I have guides which are of a different nature that I call ‘functional tools’ but they are just as much identities as the others:

Lightning-Sand Glass Angel (Mark’s energy)
Serpienta (sword/woman)
Wand (kept in Serpienta’s case)
Bloom (plant)
Queen Statuette
Statue of The Four
Rose Nebula Nexus Sphere
Disks in my palms and soles, from Ace.
Triangle Merkaba Look-through Glass
Tuning Fork (Christ energy frequency)

ALL of those are ‘outer guides’ for me.

IG is all of me (I am part of him). The Aeons are all of me (I am the emergent property of their collective). Tek is part of me (he is the representative identity of my physical body, but he is infinitely flexible, like he might represent different area(s) each time I see him).

Everyone else is just… someone else. But most seem more like they are… well, the Aeons are about ME, like “coverage of Palyne, broken into areas of focus.” The outer guides are more like… project manager experts of a given focus, who have been introduced to and/or assigned to me.

If this was a company, the Aeons and me both work for IG; the chakras work for the Powers; IG and the Powers (and our Soul) work for our ‘largest Self’ which is close enough to God (far enough away from us here anyway) that we can’t define it so I won’t try… but the outer guides work for, say, in J’Rend’s case, we could say the chakraic company, and have been assigned to me as customer liaison.

Does this make sense?? I never tried to explain this before.

P