After immense amounts of speed reading, leaning hard on the four, IG and the aeons to help me understand, then waking up with tons of “geometry inside me” that explained a lot of it, I started writing a blog post. It took over two days. Trying to unwind it and articulate it. (Coming soon.)
Then I had to look up some stuff from old posts I wanted to reference. And then it took a day to read that.
And as always, I found a ton of material in my blog, of my experience, that I had utterly forgotten, some of which was critical and impacted on some of the very points under discussion, some of which WAS like a lite, earlier version of the same stuff, but not understood nearly as well.
I feel as if I have to run into things repeatedly, like a spiral upward. Like first I just ‘muse on an idea in passing’. Then I start to realize it’s like so. Then it goes away for a bit and then some major realization occurs that has that at center. And then in further cycles, I will get a deeper understanding of how it applies. I guess this makes sense, now that I think about it, but it makes me feel both repetitive, and kinda dense.
It’s like spiritual Alzheimers: new epiphanies every day!
I never did find the brief paragraph quote I was looking for (will keep trying before I publish the last post).
New review-insights came. That happens. And now it’s been like a whole ‘nuther dimension added. Geez, I fear by the time I finish this stupid post it’ll be as long as a book, except improving comprehension should make things shorter not longer. It’s more that there’s just a lot of different but related topics.
Maybe I can break it up. Yeah, I better. OK this one will just be about the reality humor of my morning.
So, unable to find what I wanted, I instead clicked on the link I had referenced in the post and went to review that old article on my firedocs site. And–this is SO weird–I’ve uncovered one of those little pieces of reality or personal history where you *know* reality changed. I mean usually we are oblivious and when we aren’t, we just assume that memory is really wonky. Not this.
It’s a short paper I put online that someone else gave me a dozen years ago, I thought it was an intriguing idea, and I suddenly remembered it because it ‘could’ relate to something in my post. And the description from the front page support this, what I remember it being about. Here’s the thing: I do remember it — I just remember it completely differently!
Now, the paper has absolutely nothing to do with all the detail I remember it being about! It doesn’t even mention the primary subject (aliens) anymore. Not only that, the paper actually goes on about something that I have zero recall of (ok that part is not surprising…) but is all focused on, that being the forehead chakra. I definitely do not remember any of this.
It actually made a few points that I found interesting. The only problem is I could swear this is NOT what the paper was about a dozen years ago. And it was unique, I have referenced it to people over time, it’s on MY website, it’s not like I didn’t see it well or gee-its-been-a-long-time.
This guy had read Bewilderness, and I believe later wrote the paper, and asked me to read it as he’d liked BW, and I liked the paper; his website was down and I put it on mine. He was a legit schizophrenic who like many of them was brilliant and well-written as long as he was in personality A, and when I did not respond to his email promptly enough (I was *flooded* with correspondence in those days, much moreso than now) he said he’d removed me from his reality and moved on, heh! So I never heard from him again after that. He didn’t request the paper come down so I left it there.
The original paper, as *I* remember it, related to the relationships between various species of alien and humans. There was this theory that we essentially ‘overlapped at the energy centers’, the chakras, but that we had a focus at different chakras. So interacting with a species that had its focus at the kundalini, vs. the heart, vs. the crown, would cause a situational relationship that related to the qualities of their chakra-focus impacting upon ours. They would have qualities and behaviors we could associate with that chakra. It was a connecting of the QBL Tree and Chakras and Aliens that I had never heard anybody suggest before, so for that reason alone I considered it worth posting.
Now I can see that the current paper is sort of related, as if written by the same person about a different thing but based on the same system. Although it had a pic of the Tree before I don’t remember it having these attributions (eg ‘mercy and severity’ are not sephira as he made them, they are the left and right ‘pillars’ of the tree), nor do I remember anything about humans being focused at the throat chakra, in fact I could swear that the previous article had us focused at the solar plexus chakra, around *power/will/control*, and that it compared aliens focused at other chakras and how the meeting of us and them worked out as a result (I think the greys at the 1st or 2nd chakra). I mean I thought it was innovative and brilliant.
But the paper there now is not that paper. Now if I simply didn’t remember it, like with my own ‘state-specific’ stuff, no big deal, but I DO remember it.
It reminds me of my Bewilderness era when I would be aware of multiple probabilities in my day, but it wasn’t that I didn’t remember my morning — it was that I remembered it *differently* — and often, someone else would back *my* version versus someone else’s, or there would be coworkers on both sides, and often I remembered *more than one* line of ‘experience’ from my morning — I’d just be asking questions to try and figure out which of those might be ‘real’ to the people around me! (It really IS amazing that period of my life did not leave me in a straightjacket…)
This is the most serious ‘reality-shift’ point I’ve noticed in a long time. Normally I assume everything is just memory but I am pretty sure this is specifically a shift. I’m not sure if there is some meaning to this, or not.
The funny thing is that the current topic it’s about, is a lot more related to the current stuff I’m talking about, than the reason I referenced it! And his going on about the forehead chakra was a trip, as I recall it being different originally, and not to be picky but Ackrck and his female-counterpart (whom I had forgotten about until I re-read old blogging yesterday) has been repeatedly coming into my attention in various ways lately, so I swear, it felt as if someone secretly replaced the old article about aliens — which happened to be my focus at the time he wrote it and I agreed to post it — with stuff more related to what I am focused on right this minute instead. I mean that just seems… amusing and… coincidental?
More reality humor: I went down to the hotel dining room to grab some milk for the kid, and saw they had yogurt. L and I were standing there looking through this small metal box of ice with tiny yogurt containers. There were about 20. Every single container was peach, of all things! I mean you’d think there’d be some variety, sheesh. I wasn’t sure she’d like that, but I figured I’d get her one anyway. So I picked up one and put it on the little plate, and looked at the orange-ish picture on the front of it and tried to ‘feel’ her response; it didn’t feel like it would be disappointment so I decided yeah, ok, I’ll bring her this. Wished they had some kind of berry flavor though, oh well.
I went and got her some other stuff, and went and sat down at a little table where L was waiting for me, and was telling him about this paper ‘reality’ shift and how it was about a different thing before. Or a different ‘aspect’ of the same larger topic. Anyway not the paper I recall… talking as I ate something with gluten I’ll regret later.
Then I was wondering if I should get her something else, as we were done and about to leave, and I looked at the little collection I had for her, and did a double-take. The yogurt was raspberry. It had a picture of two red rasberries. Completely different than a peach. But I swear there was *nothing* but that one peach flavor in the metal container of little yogurts! I mean the container was not full, they were turned on their backs faced up, it was real obvious that’s all there was, and I had picked up the few at the edges that didn’t show the label to check for other things and there wasn’t anything else. And I had *seen* it after I’d taken it out and put it on the plate.
“This…. this is Raspberry,” I said slowly, picking it up, as if touching it or looking more closely was going to resolve it.
“Oh — I didn’t see anything but peach,” he says, surprised. “Where did you get that one?”
Uh, yeah. I don’t know?
Back in the old days I would just observe reality, think of something I wished for, let it go, and a short time later, it would be in my reality. That is allegedly a side effect of crown chakra stuff and that I’d had a kundalini experience that allegedly blew my open so to speak, near instant ‘manifestation’ and reality shifts all over. But I don’t think I’ve had any crown activity to speak of in eons. Unless some of the ‘realization’ stuff from the other night relates. But usually when my crown is active I can FEEL it, I mean physically, it ranges from ‘sensitive’ to hurting like hell.
Well I probably imagined it all or remember wrong. You never know.
PS Edited later to add: since we tune ourselves to probability of the past as well as future constantly, I guess it’s not that reality changed–there is no such thing as reality–it’s that “I” changed the probability attached to my present. Gah this stuff is so confusing.