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Archived from the former firedocs blog. 27 August 2005

There are pod creatures living inside me.

Rereading Swann’s work, something McMoneagle wrote suddenly dovetailed in. Those train cars locked together in my tiny little brain and gave me an idea.

This is long so skip it if you’re not in the reading mood.

Swann was talking about (my words/interp here) having physiological faculties for in some way connecting to psi info. That first those must be working. THEN we take it into the body, process it physically, translate it usually to one of the 5 sense organs we are most familiar with, then process it in accordance with memory, belief systems, etc. at which point it finally gets to the point of being an ‘impression’ that we get during a psychic session.

A helluva lot goes on prior to that ‘impression’. So he was saying that to be consistent and conscious of our remote viewing we have to get some kind of cognitive awareness of this process; of the part of ourself that makes this happen.

I was reminded of a time in 1994 when I was having “bilocational alien-type experiences.” and getting my ass kicked ‘there’ regularly. I was incredibly lucid by nature, partly as a result of spending years in very intensive self-hypnosis study. So I’d get lucid, realize what was going on, and flip out and try to escape. And they would catch me (the big blonde dudes with over-blue big slightly slanted eyes). On the occasions when I suspect they’d use the thing I called “like an oxygen mask” (later heard it described just like this by T. Walton), I’d be blitzed.

I would wake up with “profound disorientation.” Here’s a description of that experience from Bewilderness:

It would take awhile for my brain to ‘evolve’ to the point of grasping the concept of physical objects. Awhile later, I would be able to make out my walls, ceiling, bed etc. Awhile later the concept of walls, bed etc. would come through. I had no concept of them as related to me, only what they were.

Later, my alarm would go off. It was so loud it woke people up 3 apartments away. They could be pounding on my front door which was 3 feet from my bed hollering at me to turn the damn thing off–I still wouldn’t ‘wake up’. I would eventually get lucid enough to understand there was a noise I did not care for the experience of. Later, I would get some sense of the direction it was coming from, as if the concept of me as a ‘thing’, and it as a ‘thing’, and things as separate, had to come first.

After much more evolution I’d realize there were these long floppy things (arms) that I had almost-control over and in some instinctive reaction, they led me to believe I should pound the small dark loud thing (alarm) with the long sorta floppy things to make it be quiet. Sometimes this would work (hit the big sleep button by accident). It would go off again 15 minutes later and the process would again. Often I’d start feeling real fear then, and my body would begin crying. I would feel the liquid on my face, in WONDER at the experience of the liquid (tears).

Eventually I’d begin to absorb the memory that I was a human and this was my body. Alas at this point all my surroundings were still foreign. I wouldn’t have my own identity yet, let alone memory of my house. I would be terrified. As my own identity started to come in to me, and the vague recall that I had seen these surroundings before, finally I would “find myself.”

By the time this occurred, anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours might have passed. I would be traumatized to the extreme. And to top it all off, I’d be late for work! My high stress overworked job where everybody thought I was normal and intelligent. The one I tried frantically to keep “separated” from the bizarre “perceptions and experiences” that I had. Then I would be crying intensely because I was so angry and scared about my job, never mind all that just came before.

The memory of my arms popped out at me awhile after reabsorbing Swann’s article. Of having zero awareness of them at first, and then almost by accident, by their own instinctive-volition, I began to realize that they could “help me deal with” that noisy thing.

I realized suddenly that this parallels what Swann was saying about psychic bio-receptors of some kind. We want to “use” our psi but we are oblivious to whatever part of us is physically making this possible. We don’t have it under conscious control. It’s like, hit or miss, wild flailing that sort of/ eventually/ to varying degrees happens to accomplish what we had in mind. But it’s not easy to repeat, let alone consistently, because we were so cognitively NOT in control really of the process to begin with. I think of it like this, as I once wrote:

When we are babies, the world is a sea of information. It takes awhile before a baby can bring sufficient information and experience together for the concept that “the experience” of smelling something comes “via” the nose, for example. In reality, the nose does not give us the ‘smell experience’. The nose has bio-receptors that translate energy/info into something the body can absorb which in turn puts it through the nervous system and sparks whatever beliefs or memory or anything else we may have concerning it and eventually it presents itself in our brain as the actual “experience”. Until the baby is able to consciously conceptualize and focus on “smell”, it is more like an accidental or happenstance experience. Combat soldiers can develop a sense of smell into something people would think was psychic it’s so detailed. They are simply able to–and inspired toward survival to–pay conscious attention to information of that nature and coming through that channel.

Joe McMoneagle wrote, that after doing really well on his first trials in the lab, he did terribly, session after session after session. Then one day, he ‘got it’. And he realized, as he put it in the book (vague paraphrase of memory here), that “there was a switch inside him” that he could locate and use for psychic functioning.

So I just realized that Swann and McMoneagle, two of the best viewers in the world, said the same thing in different ways. Essentially, that psychic functioning is physical, not just mental, there is some part of the body/self that is involved in this. We need to “find the part of us” that is responsible for that kind of perception etc., and consciously begin to learn to invoke it. No floppy-armed disorganized hope but a careful, deliberately-invoked process that one gradually begins to get more understanding about and eventually more control over. (Not over the stimulus but over how we process it.)

So my archetype meditation wasn’t clearly defined as I left it to my inner guide to decide the detail. I was not sure it would be ‘fully’ physical; I figured the thing in question might be more a conceptual, astral kind of thing. But when the arch appeared, I was surprised, which is always a good sign, as it means the shape is more spontaneously subconscious.

It looked like a tiny tree except instead of a rough-bark trunk, it was soft and fleshy (more like soft broccoli), and instead of all the branches and leaves, it had several (half a dozen or more) soft fleshy stems that rose up and then slightly out, and at the end of each stem, like heads of a sort, hung these little ‘pods’. It simultaneously reminded me of several things.

The raw shape overall reminded me of rosebuds in a thin vase. The shape in detail at the end reminded me vaguely of a soft bean about to sprout.

When I focused on a fleshy bean-shaped pod at the end, it reminded me vaguely of the clitoris, as the pod-thing was sort of a soft sheath and I had the concept that it opened a bit and the part inside it was highly sensitive, and would actually sort of enlarge or engorge when it got the focus of stimulus. I think this concept came through also because there was the sense that too much stimulus at once would cause it to retreat and the sheath to protect it.

I was trying to figure if this was like a thing-with-many-heads which happened to be sorta like pods, or if it was some literal part of the human body, for all I know it could be microscopic in size. I asked it if it was one thing, or if it was representative of many things. It indicated that it was representative.

I carefully investigated it, as I do archetypes to see if there is anything about them that seems to need healing. The only thing I noticed was that the majority of the pods especially but really the whole thing, had a coating of grey dust. This is a standard symbology in my meds and it means that this is something I have neglected, ignored, repressed, whatever. It did seem that some parts of it were probably used more than others, but none intensely. I visualized the ‘cleansing water of life’, and applied this to whatever all it represented, and imagined all at once ‘washing over’ all the pod-things to clean them. I felt it in my entire body, holy cats! As if this energy was literally everywhere all through me.

In the end I took a small piece of my heart, heart-shaped, and let the soft fleshy trunk absorb it. And to share it gave me one of its pods, with the extension trunk, and these long thing strings sort of that went down from the thinner, neck-like trunk. It merged into the lower part of my brain and its trunk meshed in detail with what seemed my brainstem all the way down to just below my shoulders, and then I had the sense of its ‘long strings’ wrapping and weaving into my spinal cord all the way down to my base chakra. I had the funny feeling as if someone psychic looking at me would see that I was really a sort of pod-creature.

Hey, that would make me a great addition to the bizarro online Remote Viewing field. I could establish a website . . . psychicpodcreatures.com, all about how we are filled with clitoral-bean-pods that make us psychic. Yeah . . . . that would go over really well I bet. . . .