Select Page

Long ago in the meditation Monde and Dragonshead Cove I was given something, an object, that I initially put in the category of “thoughtform power tools.”  I had some more experience and insight with her this morning I want to talk about, but I think first the post should cover the topics of thoughtform power tools, this kind of interworld entities, function-friends, and so on.

Objects and Identities

I have (or it would be more appropriate to say “I know”) several of these now. In the tunnel’s cave between my heart and throat chakras, I built out the inside front of it a bit, and at a suggestion from J’rend (a guide) I made shelves in the walls and those tools are on the shelves. I stop by and say hello to them at times.

Except they aren’t really tools. Or not only tools, anyway. They are an “identity” — and their… existence... has a “function.”

Now, to back up a bit, let me introduce this with something so close or similar it might be the same thing. I’m no expert on this stuff so I’m not sure. But I should start here:

Sometimes I get an object which “is of” the energy of-an-identity. Maybe this is the same thing.

The lightning-sand, glass-statuette from HGA (from that same meditation! And I met Monde then! That was a heck of a night). The statue of the Four (from the meditation In the Depths). The statuette of the Queen (2nd of 4) (described in the post IG Gives Notice). All three of these “are” the energy of those entities (or group, in the case of the four, but we are one entity at a… higher level).

The Illusion of Separation

In the interworlds there is not real separation. There are no things. Everything is energy. There is no label pointing to a symbol pointing to a real thing, there is just “an ISness” and often one can perceive any number of aspect-doorways-of that ISness. You might think of that more like a “pattern filter” that simply changes our perception of that ISness — like a kaleidoscope effect — but it’s still the same energy. (I sometimes use the word symbol in conversation, because English lacks all the words I need — and English has created mental models for us that require an entire paragraph of explanatory-difference if I even bother trying to be more clear.)  But the “illusion of separation” is just illusion. There is no separation. The illusion of objects is just as much illusion.

I suspect it is not any different in our outerworlds, but rocks and bricks are far more convincing as “solid” in real life.

Other objects of a sort became part of (or rather, “reside within/as part of”) my body. The spiraling disks in palms and soles gifted me by Ace of Disks. The Sword given to me out of “Heart’s Lake” that Alayaowaeiiya (my heart chakra, or Alaya for short) put in the center of me.

(Aside: My mind is still boggling at the Arthurian-underlay that came with. {Information from heart chakra feels like an “underlay” which might only make sense to viewers who are familiar with the sense of an information-sense “overlay.”} It had never occurred to me all that legend stuff might actually be a deep metaphysical analogy or something! And Knights of the Round Table? Might those be the Aeons?! For some reason I find all this just as amazing as I did stumbling on the four and 12 aeons in those old gnostic docs — after what, 14 years at that point, of “being alone with” all this inside me, but clearly they were at least somewhat on the same metaphysical page).

Range of Effect

I don’t know the full detail or scope of what any of my “power tools” can do, except that every one of them, when used in a meditation so far, has had some notable effect — and generally something very key to the nature of the thing itself or the ISness of its energy.

The glass-sand statuette of Mark (HGA) will “rescue my attention” if the energy I encounter is too much for me and is knocking me out on mere exposure, and will also help me ‘perceive’ the energy of things far more clearly or without distortion. Sometimes it’s like I have “unlocked” a whole array of energy invisible to me before, like in the brief but fun visit to the world of Tief (What the Gods Made for Fun) (which I still suspect is actually a body cell of some kind, and that ‘scaling’ of ‘infinite identity/worlds’ still fries my brain).

To some degree, these “objects of ISness” as I think of them, simply are the energy of that-thing/identity. So basically it is like “a dose of Queen’s energy” if I hold her statuette aloft and ask it to shine upon whatever world-focus I am in, archetype I am with, etc. Whatever energy is specific to her nature (queen/cups) is what is going to be the effect. (For her it’s yin — it’s water, it’s insight, it’s receptive, all of which are just as powerful as the projective yang, in their own way.)

But there are other tools I have been given that were not perceived as ‘a symbol of a spiritual identity.’

Elementals… at a much higher level

In the way that an elemental is an incredibly simple entity, but entirely about a single focus, these are incredibly complex entities, but (seem to be) entirely about a specific function — though the depth and range of that function might be infinite. It would simply be infinite within that highly-specific range of focus.

The first time I ran into this was probably 30 years ago. I was meditating, and I cannot recall the detail now but I was looking for “protection” and talking to IG at the time (probably IG 1 or 2 back then). This thing appeared around me: I was standing in the middle of a pyramid, except it was the “red fire-frame” of a 4-sided pyramid. It was probably about 3x my height. The ‘frame’ of it however was made of a red light that at the time I thought of as “violently intense laser+fire light.” Not-quite-plasma.

Years later, after IG#4 showed me my chakras as temples/gems in The Landscape of Me, I recognized that red-red-red which is such a pure energy: that is the kundalini chakra’s energy. In this laserlike-red-frame pyramid I was standing in, there was a smaller triangle, of the same red-laserlike-frame, suspended right in the middle of each of the four sides around me (which are themselves in the shape of triangles). And the inner triangles were spinning. (Clockwise, to me.) It’s like fire on fire on fire… grounded to earth.

I understood at the time this happened: this is protecting me. I have seldom used that because this is not normally a worry of mine. Sometimes over the years, I’ve had the feeling “it wanted me to invoke it” so I would, for a minute. Like to “stay in touch.” That should have been a clue to identity, but it wasn’t.

Not until so many years later did I understand, while standing within it during a meditation that was worrying me, that “it” was a — well, not a he or she or it or them, alas English lacks a word for genders that are both/neither (which is very common in the interworlds — I always default to “he” if it’s not specifically a she, for the sake of conversation) — but HE was an identity.

I had not been “shown an object” or “given an object” but rather, “introduced to an entity.” I did not invoke the object thoughtform, I called the identity’s attention which happens to exist “within the form/function” of that perceived-as-object/tool. Much like humans have biological forms (which aliens on Star Trek: Next Generation once described as ugly sacks of mostly water), that entity has the ‘form’ of whatever I am perceiving as an object.

(Sometimes I have to think very carefully even to put these things into words that are not overtly wrong. Our language so limits and encloses our thinking, our paradigms.)

(I feel like this overlaps with the recurring everything’s-an-equal-and-conscious-symbol some part of me keeps trying to get through my tiny brain and still I’m not… quite… grokking it.)

There are other things that I don’t classify as tools although they are “thought form objects given to me.” Specifically, an engagement ring from 3rd, and a ‘promise ring’ from Mark when I was dying (a promise that if I stayed with his focus, I would survive).

Tool-Entities that are part of the ‘larger’ me

I was introduced to a woman and a sword at the same time when I met Sierpienta. At the time she said it was the name of the sword but I could call her that as well. My aeons let me know the sword was a “power tool” as my meditation teacher from long ago used to call them. But later, I understood that the woman IS the sword, literally. (I’m ~1/3 along in writing a (long neglected) fiction story based on her.) The sword is sentient. And it works conceptually as well as more-literally. Not only in obscure ways like only cutting through a certain thing, but also in offbeat ways, like “shining the light of a bright idea” on the blade makes a light of sorts, and I can do all kinds of choice-questions/dowsing, by asking her blade to be a “meter.”

Having met my kundalini chakra in full-feminine once (A Brief Moment with Konewa Turi), there is clear overlap. The name Sierpienta, which came across as a handwritten word in gleaming silver in the air, and a male-voice with a Spanish accent speaking the name at the same moment — that was obviously “snake in Spanish” (or close enough, as if the entwined snakes as the guard of the sword weren’t another clue!). So the sword was related to Kundalini from the start, that was clear.

I was also shown that this was the energy of Senior (the King, or 1st of 4), and of the (mostly back-half) end section of the first finger on my right hand (and the same pattern in my right foot). I don’t really understand this overlap of a part of my body, one of my chakras, one of the four, but this is the energy that is inherent in the “object” — which is a tool — which is an entity. The “infinitely divisible” nature of identity is always hard for my logical brain to wrap around.

Another tool I think overlaps with the energy of the giver is the tuning fork, given me by J’rend, one of my guides. He works with me for managing energy, from the awesome but violent-sexual-disturbing meditation in Power and Identity to the day he gave me the tuning fork to call the Christ energy to my chakras with a specific vibration-tone in A Moment with J’rend. At the time it was a power tool to me, but now I realize that it is inherently part of his energy and him.

But not, mind you, ENTIRELY him. In the way that Sierpienta is OF Konewa Turi’s energy (base chakra) but is not ALL of it. In the way that Monde is of Dominon’s energy, but not all of it.

I once had a meditation (that turned out to be the Kings of both wands and disks) where I was given an actual wand. It had this great feeling inside me, like it is very strong, very powerful, and something which has great honor and would be greatly admired as highest quality or class by humans. A few times I have used it in a meditation and it works very well. Starting (but only the bare use) with the one where I got it, Tarot Knight of Disks. Since then, every time I go to use it, I get this strong feeling — from the wand-identity I mean — that I need to do this in a sort of rhythm-rhyming fashion, like make a song-poem. I know, silly, right! Like a fantasy book. But the energy works well that way.

Another tool that is an entity I believe, I call the Merkabah Looking Glass. I was given a small triangle of glass. It was formed, it has soft-beveled edges. It is ajna-chakra-beautiful, the infinite-moving-shades of pink-rose-color that the nebula sphere is. (I wrote about this the first time I saw it, that “pink is an insult to the glory of this color.”) I didn’t know what to do with it but the Queen statuette power tool helped, and eventually I understood I should look through it. (The wand tool, when I asked its nature, gave me the word “merkabah.” I had no idea what it meant, though I had heard the term somewhere.) But that meditation was a total fail, the energy was way too powerful, I just fainted dead away every time I tried to get anywhere near the thing to look through it. I guess I should have gone back with Mark’s lightning-sand-glass-angel-statuette… to help. Hmmn. I will do that before long.

And lastly — at least I think this is last unless I am forgetting something — is the “nebula sphere” — who in active use feels feminine, and whom I now call Nexus. This sphere is combined energy of both Mark (who is the current iteration I’m capable of interacting with, of HGA) and Dominon, who is 1st of 6 of my Largers. (Monde, who I classify as a guide, is actually as much “a power tool that is mostly-human in form, sent me by Dominon” but somewhat the same in nature as the other tools. He even told me that he was energy to which I could attune to increase the power of whatever I am doing, more like a tool-thing).

Nexus, the nebula-sphere

The nebula-sphere is one of the most amazing tools I have — or perhaps I’ve just allowed myself to realize this one more. I first discovered her nature during a seeming-endless IG 2-Year Meet Day meditation, which is when I named her Nexus, as that is her function. I discovered she could work with my body one night during Tek Med: Cortex. Today I discovered something new, and I think I’ll be seeing a lot more of her now.

Last night I talked to Mark briefly and told him how much I dearly miss having any sense of visual of him, or real ‘sense’ of him. I know this is mostly me, as he once conveyed. But I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t meditate enough. Sometimes I work with the aeons, sometimes chakras, sometimes the four, sometimes Mark. I am always missing someone or some group I haven’t worked with in some time but since I don’t do much, and there are so many!, that’s just the way it goes. Anyway, I went to sleep.

When I woke up I decided to do a brief Aeon round, but I never got through it. I forget the detail now, but I ended up inside the ever-slightly-changed courtyard of Nexus. It’s been a long time. I could feel the effects of her, though milder than usual, in the nervous-system ‘rushing’ similar to what I get in an energy merge.

She expanded in size so the room was much, much larger. And everyone appeared. My aeons, my chakras, my guides — all as people — and tons of others I know are guides but I don’t know — and they were all just doing their own things in their own areas as if wherever they were was ‘overlapping’ with the reality where I was, is all. In what is normally a stone inner castle courtyard (albeit seemingly composed of a nebula-like-rose-pink-ness), there were now sofas and armchairs, and there was a big open bar in one area that I recognized as somehow the SAME bar as the one in my chest universe-tunnel that I meet my guides at for a protein drink of “their energy” every morning. I was startled, that it was “literally the same thing” — not a thing LIKE it, but the same thing — and then I understood:

Nexus, who connects me directly to anything — any time, any place, any identity, and all this can be “concept” as well  — has created an incredible “compilation home” of all the parts of me, all the places of me, all the pieces of me. Together. I didn’t know she could do that. I never even considered such a thing. But I stood in the middle of a very busy place. The Aeons of the numbers and letters were there, the Thoth tarot aeons were there, and I understood that following some of the stairs and hallways which are always part of Nexus at the side, I would find a larger castle in which I would find — as I did once before when I let 3rd just pick a direction to explore inside her — the Four. Basically, that courtyard has always been one part of a larger structure (that I only explored barely and once), but now that larger structure is basically “home to ALL OF ME.”

I don’t need to only see friends from group-X once in a rare while because I was busy with friends from group-Y and Z and so on. They are all there. Everyone, everything, has an overlapping is-ness within Nexus. I could say hello to everyone just walking through. I have until now thought of her as the “passageway TO” any other area (even a concept). But now I see it’s not just that she can take me TO anything, it’s that she can bring anything to me. Not just one thing at a time.

Perhaps she is, like all identities, “an arbitrary collection of consciousness assigned a form,” and her arbitrary collection is now “all the parts of Palyne.”

For some reason I felt much more like I should be exploring all those stairways and hallways and doors off her. I only did that once, it was very interesting and I ended with the Four. I think maybe it’s that it’s slightly less intimidating when everyone I know is there with me.

And then in the middle of the room walking toward me was Mark. Visually. My body without asking me just burst out sobbing like a child. I didn’t know just how badly I needed that, needed him in some substantial way, until that moment. I cried and hugged him and cried on him for awhile more. And then for the next ten minutes, I kept spontaneous bursting into about five seconds of super-intense sobbing, and then it would pass. Like ocean waves. Like I could feel this super intense energy just pushing itself out of my chest during the moments I was able to cry like that.

I will ask Nexus to make one hallway my universe tunnel so I can still walk through him. Now and then I am moved to say something to him and it’s amazing when he responds. But I think I am going to take up doing my morning guide drink, and anything else, “inside” Nexus. I suppose that is a perfect area for walking out a doorway into another world, so she’ll probably be great for IG meditations. (I had already considered using her for viewing, just out of curiosity.)

I think she and I are going to spend a great deal more time with each other now. And since she is Mark and Dominon’s energy, that can only be good. She is an object, she is a tool, she has a function, but she is a glorious entity of divine energy as well.

P