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30 or 31 Nov, evening. So I still hadn’t got to the Four but at least I’d finally got through the chakras. So, time to go see them — which starts with me in my high mountain cave outside the tunnel, saying hello to the tool friends and then the bar friends (all guides), then to the tunnel to go to the Four’s area.

I went to the entrance of the universe-tunnel and sat down with my knees at the edge of the high cave, my feet hanging down the opening, looking at the landscape.

Alaya was suddenly to my right. “Oh, hello!” I say. “Thank you for… earlier. Will you help me with the… integration? I’m worried about my heart.”

Alaya: There are other things to consider.

Me: Um… I’ll need to drink more water?

Alaya: {I cannot remember what he said but it implied much larger issues.}

I felt like a hilarious idiot. I mean like… drinking water? Really? I understood he meant vastly more profound, huge life things than that. Things affected, perhaps ‘challenged’, that are not the heart.

I wanted to burst out, Well what are they?! but for some reason at that moment that seemed like it would be rude.

My brain raced through a list. Are we talking about body organs? Systems? Or about things in my reality? Or psychology? Or metaphysical life?

Me: Like what?

But if he responds I don’t hear him. I call Sun who sits to my left, and I just stare at the green pyramid of Alaya in the far distance.

I determined to ask again and pay attention. And apparently passed out.

*

1Dec2019 going through morning meditation, when I got to the universe tunnel in my chest I stopped and asked for Alaya. I asked him if there was something that he had wanted to convey to me because I had not seemed able to perceive it. I got nothing. I asked Mark to help me unblock if I was the one doing this. That only works sometimes… usually he expects me to do my own work. Didn’t work this time, I still perceived nothing. And it wasn’t like I perceived him telling me no, there is not anything else. I just couldn’t perceive him except as a presence at all. So I figure I’m blocking it.

This morning when I said hello to the tool-guides they seemed impatient for me to do the viewing with them that I told them about the last time I saw them (2-3 days ago). I told them I would start today.

When I said hello to the bar guides the bartender gave me a drink. I stared down at it thinking, this is novel. Normally I will not eat or drink in the interworlds, in some superstition about being trapped in the dimensions of faery inorganics, but I felt that being my guides inside my cave in my world it was ok. I asked Mark to cleanse it of any energies that were not “positive or constructive” and then I grabbed a protein drink next to me in real life to mirror it, and I said aloud, something like,

“I hereby agree to ingest these energies my guides have provided. May divine light guide this and may I absorb these with gratitude and benefit.” and drank it down.

I had the feeling that I will seldom get past that area again without them handing me a drink. Like they thought it was some great idea and were delighted I agreed.

With the four, I asked senior if 10 minutes was enough, and he said make it 20. So I began the first ten minute cycle, but I literally could not hold my attention for more than four seconds without instantly being off. I got so fed up I canceled my alarm and began it over again to do better hopefully. I am not sure I did that much better, but when the alarm went off so I was to reset it for the next 10, I must have forgot, because 45 minutes later I kind of abruptly came-to, realizing that I had been doing something with them mentally — I was not asleep, but I’m not sure I was totally awake either — and the word “Principality” and the color green was with me. I have no idea why. Anyway, so at least that meditative series finally was done properly and in the morning. This is my goal it’s just seldom achieved.

Annnnnd I forgot to ask the Four about the Heart Lake stuff. Oh well. I see them again tonight so I will ask then.

Then I figured I needed to do the meditation I’d been told to do, a couple times ago when visiting them I was flying over the water toward their area when I was told to clean the cortex again — something I had ended up doing in the meditation Tek Med: Cortex back in October 2014. I was pretty alert though and thought a slightly more altered state might help. So I listened to some old TMI hemi-sync on the brain, and took off the headphones before it was done to stay in that state.

Took the four, my aeons, and any guides who wanted to go, into Mark’s space and then asked the Nexus to take me to “cortex” like it had before. The doorway opening of Nexus was awesome. I had to thank she and ACKRCK for that. It was a whole complex but cool geometric “expanding” to the doorway shape. I nearly got lost repeatedly in her just from losing attention but thankfully all those I had with me jerked me to attention repeatedly.

We went through and we cleaned the cortex like I did last time but as a team, and then as a visualized white light, and then I asked for divine light assistance with all that, and then we went back into nexus and to Mark’s area. I would never have made it through this meditation if I hadn’t had probably 40 body-jerks that brought me back which I felt were clearly caused by my aeons, as they’ve done that before (and even more extreme things). It occurs to me that maybe if I keep them with me all the time in these workings like I should anyway, that perhaps them keeping me “in it” will help practice entrain my brain to stay in it without wandering, as it seems like my attention is so poorly held now compared to what it used to be. I don’t know if that’s so long of serious brain oxygen deprivation or what.

Anyway, we did get through it, and I didn’t feel anything during it, but I felt suddenly much more wide awake and decent after. I had the feeling ‘deep sleep’ would be important at some point today or tonight so the brain could rinse. And I’ve had the sense many times now that doing a minute or so on the VibePlate after a meditation is really good — it basically triggers the muscles all over the body, even the tiniest ones, and moves the lymph, so in terms of simple activation and lymph stuff it’s equivalent to a chunk of exercise. (It’s not equivalent in terms of cardio health or muscle strength of course.)

I pinned the elastic on some harem pants I’ve been making forever. I made some taco seasoned chuck burger, part of which is for tacos, most of which is to go in enchilada casserole, which is mostly meat, some pinto beans and a bunch of cheese and corn tortillas (laid out flat, not wrapped up, so there are fewer in the overall concoction) and red enchilada sauce. (I am not lowcarb right now. Back to that after Christmas. I generally take from mid Nov to nearly end of Dec off, and eat with family birthdays and holidays and so on.) And some veggies I got for thanksgiving and have no intention of eating so I figured I’d just throw them into the food processor and distribute them in it.

Wanting to meditate in the morning and getting stuck in mental wandering etc. has made me feel incompetent and messed up my schedule for days, while I feel like I can’t do anything else because I need to do that but I can’t do that or put it off or fall asleep and then screw up my sleep schedule. A morning where everything actually goes right feels like a miracle! But this is the first time I’ve made such a big deal of having the four and my aeons with me very presently during all this. Maybe that made the difference.

P