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This is an experience that I know I wrote down, but I can’t remember where. Not in this blog I don’t think. It was somewhere between a dream and a vision, as I was sitting quietly one day. I don’t even remember when exactly.

I would not have remembered this experience (though I did record it somewhere) except that recently I was interacting with the heart chakra and one of the identities there had this same ‘pulsing electric royal blue’ color. I never realized that this was associated with the heart until then.


I was watching a man. He had died, but ‘he’ was still present in some fashion, just not in a body. He still displayed his identity as-if he were in his prior body, however, he looked the same. Except… he had the most interesting thing going on: he was blue. And I mean “electric royal pulsing” blue.

He was curious about something. He went to look for a certain man. When he found the guy, he was in a public building with a lot of people — he was on stage. The second man was talking to an audience, it appeared as a stand-up comic or something like that.

The first man slipped slowly through the crowd to see him. He was so curious, and he wanted to see him more closely. As he moved closer, I suddenly understood:

This man with the pulsing electric royal blue-ness, who was no longer physically living, he had given up his heart. And that man on stage HAD it.

He was so curious. His heart in the other man drew him to him, like they were connected now, in some fashion.

He finally reached the front of the audience, right in the middle.

At that point, my perspective changed, and now I could see what the man on stage was seeing.

First, I understood: his heart knew. The heart in his body recognized that the man-whom-it-previously-was-part-of was standing right there in front of him, even though it was only his ‘energy body’ and not a physical one. He was able to “see” him in part because of the heart.

So the man on stage, with the heart, suddenly saw the man who had donated his heart.

But he didn’t see him like I did, like his ‘residual self-image’ form (as The Matrix called it) and the pulsing blue.

Instead, he saw the energy symbolically, like an archetype. And what an archetype!

The man was deathly white in skin, and his eyes each had a big “X” as they were empty and sewn shut, and his mouth was sewn shut across it.

I was reminded of some ancient burial rituals.

Because the heart knew. The heart was saying: That is a dead man. 

The man faltered, then gasped, then started to panic, for about one second — and then literally passed out, right on stage.

The blue man thought: I didn’t mean to frighten him.

I observed that perhaps I was actually all three of us at the same time. Then I woke up or came to.


I was reminded of this experience by the fairly recent heart chakra guy who had the same pulsing blue head. But then I was reminded again by this little account I found the other day:

69-year-old Sonny Graham received a life saving heart transplant after another man named Terry Cottle committed suicide.

Cottle shot himself, leaving behind a widow, four children, and a perfectly good heart that was sent to Graham.

Graham was so thankful for having his life saved that he wrote a letter to Cottle’s family thanking them for his generous donation.

Eventually Graham met Cottle’s widow and claimed it was love at first sight. “I felt like I had known her for years. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I just stared.”

They began dating and were eventually married.

After a total of twelve years had passed since Graham received the heart, his widow received a call that her second husband had just shot himself in the exact same circumstances as her first.

Graham had Cottle’s heart inside of him, shot himself in the same way, in the same circumstances, and also committed suicide on the same day.

Friends of Graham said he had never shown signs of being depressed and this was completely out of the blue.