It’s been about four months. Rarely am I away from my blog that long. Of course, it represents how far away from myself and my internal world I am. That is changing now. November is usually a focus time internally for me, if I look at the blog history.
I got a temp accounting gig, and that ended shortly in. I shouldn’t have been surprised, since I kept asking myself if I could do this daily — the degree of boredom, and only one coworker I wasn’t so fond of, led to me wondering if I’d be super miserable eventually — and it felt surreal, like it wasn’t real at times, so maybe that was a clue it wasn’t mean to be. I spent awhile looking for something else, until my daughter asked me to join her in a new local place that would give her a bonus for recommending others. It’s a call center, which is a pretty low level job for me given the last few decades of my life, but I don’t mind, as it turns out. It’s not really sales, not directly anyway, it’s mostly changing the setup for existing service, a subcontractor for a big corp that does cable-tv/stream, internet, landlines and mobile cell phones. No it’s not ATT.
No stress (assuming the software isn’t glitching out). I love the customers, the people, they’re the best part. I’m on a late shift till midnight and it’s a bit slower, so the coworkers talk more between calls, My best friend Law got me these blue blocker lenses to go over my computer glasses and holy cats it makes a huge difference, I feel ok when I am off work, vs. the prior few weeks feeling absolutely half-dead blah instead. The pay is the lowest I’ve made since… well probably since the 1980s alas. But it’s enough I can survive here in nowhere Oklahoma ok, assuming the economy does not continue into the degree of wreckage that is likely.
Any job that lets you sit on your ass in a padded chair in a climate controlled environment, where the people are ok, the work is ok, and you make enough to feed yourself and the pets, is a decent job. So it’s all good. I have no desire to work every waking hour anymore, to be in high stress management or troubleshooter positions which I’ve been much of my life, and honestly at this age — I’m 56 now — I really just want a peaceful life, work with decent time for a personal life, and a state of mind and body that lets me do something in that personal time.
I’m doing a lot of driving for my daughter and grandson at the moment which is messing up my schedule, but that will eventually pass, and it needs to be done. The dog and cats are sleeping with me now that we’re heading toward winter (we should already be in it, but the temps have been surreally non-winter-ish this year).
My latest obsession which I only just got the stuff to try, are two new grain-free nut/seed-free keto recipes, one for bread and one for pasta. The bread recipe is a variant off an old one that was waaaay too dry, blah, and baked up mutant. At this point enough experimenting has been done to come up with a recipe that is a very different result and it looks and sounds amazing. The other recipe (spaghetti pasta) is using “molecular gastronomy,” which is to summarize, how meat or egg plus minerals can become noodles. Both recipes require some “not usually on hand” ingredients. Calcium lactate and sodium alginate for the noodles. Egg white powder and egg yolk powder and butter powder for the breadish (the latter two not required, there are options). And a stand mixer, which I have but haven’t used in probably 10 years since I bought it, so it’s about time.
I’m not keto and haven’t been for some time, and body is begging me to return to it. I carry about 40# more water when I am high carb. Added to that, the schedule with errands/driving for the kid plus work, I keep missing one or more of my diuretics doses (a lifetime med after heart surgery for that birth defect valve issue), and the combination is horrific, and gives me flashbacks to the extreme version when I was dying.
But I”m so sick of the few keto staples I have lived on so long. Hence my excitement for a truly decent breadish and a truly decent spaghetti. The latter is very al dente but totally like real noodles. The former is made into everything from regular bread for sandwiches, to danish to hot pockets to pull-apart pizza bread so has a very wide menu possibility. Hot pockets, or spaghetti, that I could take for lunch at work would be awesome. We’ll see how it goes.
So you see the mundane focus of my life lately. Work, food, cats. I had begun on the hydro garden but ended up giving the plants to my friend. I might get back to that before long, now that I have an income again. I really needed something I could not afford and was having real problems with the setup without it (1″ bulkheads for all the big buckets), but hopefully within another month or so I can buy some of those and try again.
And although I often do a brief aeon round and hello to the chakras, I haven’t done a “real” round — the universe version that is much more intense — in a long time. Haven’t done an archmed in quite some time. (I did one I forgot to blog and as a result forgot it entirely.) But I miss myself, I miss Mark, I miss that whole focus. So I will be blogging again now, as I will be starting back through Focus 13 — that line of 40 things to meditate upon that I had begun months ago — and anything else that comes up.