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It seems like every time I wake up, I am in the fugue of someone who is educating me about something, or talking to me about something. I have the sense that it is my chakras, simply because it reminds me a great deal of what communications I have had with them so far.

It doesn’t feel foreign, but much like it does with the Four, where they are very close to me, within me, and yet have a different perspective they are ‘sharing’ some portion of as they communicate. There is seldom any gender sense. I say ‘he’ by default and ‘they’ by default but it means a singular identity with no gender.

Sometimes I realize I have woken up ‘on purpose’ so I will remember. Sometimes it is going on as I wake up. Sometimes I can continue it. The crown chakra works a lot like that with me. But I think others are involved lately as well.


“You need to continue drinking the Liver Food and Repair Juice,” I am told. I’m not lucid enough to wonder what it is.

“The problem with your right leg is tissue damage,” they tell me. I have the vague impression of some cross between a nasty varicose and a slight clot, basically ‘a mess’, trapped under a lot of tight lipedemic tissue. Later on awakening, I realize it actually feels just like that. But I hadn’t been able to model or articulate it before then, before the concepts.

“The liver will repair this, but it must itself have repair,” they continue. I sense a ‘banding’ of tough tissue, lighter in color, and I understand my liver lacks resources it requires for its own health, never mind the rest of the body.

A concept is shared with me: that anything I see in my body tissues that is a problem is a sign that the liver needs help. That when I focus on the ‘symptoms’ like my leg, it is like looking at the hand that is pointing instead of toward where it is pointing — which apparently is always at the liver. I had been thinking of that model for something else unrelated to this topic days before.

Later, on awakening, it occurs to me this element (about the liver) agrees with some theorists I have read, and makes sense I guess, but during the experience I was not lucid at all, just a ‘receptive listener.’

“The Liver Food and Repair Juice should be drank more often through the day, and more days ongoing.” I start to become a bit lucid. Oh I see. He means the Liposomal-C. What a funny term he uses for it!  I realize I’m waking up.

Of course he can’t recommend eggnog or something that actually tastes good. Or even somewhat less than oh-my-god-this-is-utterly-vile, like DIY Liposomal-C. I am drinking it on the hour today, since late morning. Just a swig from a little boston bottle, followed by a swig of mixed pure cranberry and blueberry juices, which are not nearly as vile, but are really quite bad in my opinion even when greatly diluted, but are strong enough to help overcome the lecithin taste and are vastly less sugary than orange juice.

So each time I take a drink I say: “Ok body: Liver Food and Repair Juice, as you call it. {swallow} And now something for the bladder and kidneys. {swallow} Ya know, you could have mercy and make this stuff taste better to me!”


“…When using colors in sequence, the changes within sequence become events of their own,” is an “understanding I share” as I am shown a video. It’s a created video, like someone might make for a television commercial.

(I had been watching a sports team commercial made by someone I by-proxy know, hours earlier. Later, on awakening, I figured it related to this somehow.)

I am “sharing the understandings” as we review certain concepts. Colors are changes in frequency just like musical notes are changes in frequency.

I remember my previous understanding, twice now at different ‘degrees,’ that a color change is a ‘static dynamic’ — an event, a reaction, a something.

I remember hearing eons ago about science done on musical sequences that cause an individual’s brain to demonstrate it “likes” that, and ‘music’ made just for an individual which combined lots of those sequences based on their EEG readings.

I understand that this is no different for colors than for music, and that dynamic video such as my culture now has, allows us to experiment with this the same way we have with music for eons. If we realized it, it would, anyway.

I am shown an example. A medium, slightly dull-thick orange plays on the screen, and is pushed completely off by a strip of rich spring green, which is pushed completely off in the other direction by an even thinner very light-bright strip of ‘electric orange’ — a sort of bright-light fresh tangerine.

I wonder to myself if I appreciate the fruity life of the third color because of the way the first two came first.

I understand the sequence from the first, to second, to third, created an “event” in my brain, and if colors in a proper “relationship” to each other are used, this is an event that would have ‘good’ effects in my brain. Some in enjoyment, consciously or unconsciously, some in actual health benefits.

I remember the times I have looked at things when highly in the spirit of the crown and ajna chakras, and have clearly sensed that some things were literally unhealthy even for me to see (never mind stare at). Other things had a positive effect. I hadn’t given this a lot of thought beyond that, but I now saw that even in still images, this was part of a larger, related topic.

I start thinking more independently, though I’m still not lucid. I remember that song Hallelujiah (originally by Leonard Cohen, which I hadn’t realized, I first heard it from Rufus Wainwright), where the chords and lyrics are lining up all over as he sings, “it goes like this, the 4th, the 5th, the minor fall, the major lift…” and how it “feels good” when this happens. I wonder what sequences of color will equate to that. I wonder if this could be mathematically determined.

Later, when I awaken, I think of a conversation I’d had recently with a friend online, and I wonder if nutrients or flavors might actually work the same way. Isn’t everything energy, frequency? Maybe the results on the body are not just whether you have butter vs. olive oil or garlic vs. onions, but whether you have one then the other then something else. I don’t mean combining food etc., I mean the taste-and-brain effects of certain nutrients and/or flavors in a sequence. The gut ‘tastes’ through the mouth, even obscure things like flavenoids. And minerals are elements… which are just frequency too? Why should they be different than music, or color, in terms of {as a generality} impact on the body. Makes me go, “Hmmmn.”


I try on a variety of cool looking leather clothes. I take poses in them, because this character I’m playing is making a movie. I go over parts of the plot, which I ‘know’ that I wrote as a story initially, but it’s made a really cool action flick, I think to myself. It’s loosely based on the technology I used to work with actually, when I was younger. The guy who invented it, was an ordinary guy who did so in high school — he invented many things, often from dreams.

The characters in my book are this gruff old guy and this just of-age girl he unofficially raised (and later, I realized I was waking up during this, and I don’t know how much of this I created then, as I was awakening, vs. in the actual-dream… if there is a difference). He’s an old Indy guy and she’s grown up the ultimate tomboy with him.

She has these dreams, and invents this technology that seems like just a motor improvement of sorts, not a big deal just cool, but then turns out to have vastly bigger implications when combined with another tech and some programming. She and the old man build a car that is like something out of batman, and it’s just the beginning of its potential. A variety of black ops groups are all trying to get it, but they are competing against each other for various reasons, which is the only reason she’s getting out of impossible situations, because they all want to have another chance at getting her and the tech first, more than they want the other guys to get her, so they keep saving her from each other.

She and the old guy’s only friends are a youngish computer hacker who spent some time in prison for it, and three prostitutes from a jazz bar the old man frequents in the next town sometimes. The story’s about all those four people but mostly the old man and the girl, and the tech, and I liked the book, but I have to admit they paid me well and made it into a really cool movie. And then I go back to trying on cool clothes and looking for a pose, because I’m trying to make the young woman look really hot.


Heh! So I started writing on that when I woke up…


For days now I have had only one prayer, only one thought when I focus inward. To Mark: pull me closer. That is all. As if some part of me has concluded that everything else pales into insignificance behind the only wish that matters.