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I told IG I wanted to meditate on whatever she thought was best. Then I did a litany of whining. Then it was time to meditate.

I felt as if I were repressing or restraining something and several times had to really make myself relax and allow.

Finally I saw something. I didn’t know what it was.  I had the feeling that, like a med I had recently, my brain had distorted it, and I should look away, allow it to change, then look back, and it might be something similar, but would probably be different. So I did that.

When I looked back, there was something to my left that looked like… a 3 or 4 blade rotor of some kind, as if it were sticking out the side of something. (If spinning, it would have moved something sideways, not upward.) I slowly walked around it, finally able to ‘see’ — as the energy was hard for me to get clearly at first — that it was attached to a cube. Around the opposite side, the cube had a doorway in it, and I opened it, then peeked around the edge, and then went in.

I was in a tiny room of what seemed a high-tech one-man vehicle. The rotors seemed a little old fashioned given the tech inside. A big screen in front of me showed the world straight ahead. Screens above and below that showed me the top and bottom views, and to each side the left and right views, and a larger screen to the far right showed me the view looking behind. There were displays and meters and dials and such all over the place. I sat down in the chair in the middle, and it began to move.

I marveled a little at the visuals. I mean, getting count-them-six different screens to show different dynamic visuals at the same time all kinds of other things around me were new and visual, is really quite a complex thing. I noted that on the other hand, I was not able to ‘focus on’ more than a couple of the screens (with their moving landscapes) at a time, but then again, I considered, I probably couldn’t in normal life, either.

I had the feeling this would take awhile depending on me, so I closed my eyes and relaxed and “allowed it” since I didn’t want this to take so long I fell asleep in the middle. This has been {a word here I missed, that meant buried/gone/hidden} for forty years, I heard IG say as if at a distance. That seemed like I must have heard her wrong, since I had the sense of underwater, and maybe like a shipwreck or something at the bottom that was valuable. Maybe she said something else and I mis-heard her, I thought in some confusion. I relaxed, and after a little while I felt a slowing and then a slight dropping and then a bump of landing on something.

The screens showed I was under water and deeply. I understood I should go outside. Scuba gear seemed a little much. Can I just have some kind of high tech clear light scuba? I asked IG, who coated me with it.  I can’t open the door or the cabin will flood, I realized, then felt the cube grow, and understood this was an inner door. I opened it and went into a small compartment between that and an outer door, and pressed an ‘open’ button. Water began filling around my feet, and after awhile, apparently water above my head and pressure were ok as the outer door opened. I thought it must be kind of funny to IG that my brain requires all these things to “make it ok” even when everything is happening in my head!

I walked around slowly. I didn’t really see much, and then had the sense that I had landed on whatever I was looking for. I walked around the other side of the cube and saw that there was a drop-off, not a big one, and I couldn’t figure out how to get to where I needed to go. I was hesitantly climbing down this one area when the 3rd appeared a little below me and held out his hands to help me. It’s you! I said in relief and delight, and when we reached the bottom, I threw my arms around him. I didn’t know why he was there, in my assumedly archetype meditation, but a few times the last months the Four have showed up in those, so maybe it’s just part of being a little more integrated.

He walked with me along this area I can’t put into words very well. I realized after a little while that we were IN something. I mean, I was thinking that maybe we were going to find a shipwreck or an object. But we were in a PLACE. Like an entire location that for some reason was super deeply underwater. I closed my eyes and asked my mind to send a ground-penetrating-radar through the place, and make me a map of what we had underneath what seemed like just uneven ground and water.

The map showed that we were standing in an area that was an oval shape, and literally in the middle which was another, ‘open’ oval. Around us, separated by what would have been perhaps a half-wall, but with roofing, was a wide corridor all the way around, and beyond that I wasn’t sure what it might have been at one time. After thinking about it a bit, I wondered if it was seats, and this had been some kind of arena. I really had no idea. Nor did I have the foggiest clue why IG would be bringing me to a ‘place’ underwater when I had thought we’d likely be doing an archetype meditation. I did not see anything that felt like an archetype.  I was not going to ask IG. Not after all my whining about these meds getting too easy.

There must be something that I am here to find, I told the third. I told my mind, Do a radar scan of this region and especially the flat oval area that we are standing in, underneath, and show me where “whatever I’m supposed to find” is. The mental map showed me a big blob some distance ahead and under the ground. So we went over there, and I made an energy beam that would dig around it.

It was taking awhile, when the Senior and the Queen showed up. Like the 3rd, they seemed somewhat more… ‘directly-perceivable’ than usual. I hugged both of them, though as always I had to resist the fall to my knees in marvel at their glory effect. They took the lead on the dig and before long a huge encrusted rock-blob was set above ground next to its hole, and after some more work, everything that had apparently grown on it or attached to it was gone.

The degree of ‘shine’ in the gold was amazing. The whole thing looked to be solid gold, inset with what looked like gems and semi-precious stones. It was much taller than me. It was a sculpture I guess. It looked a lot like the Vedic sculptures except of gold, not stone, and big, and instead of just having multiple heads and arms, it had 4 figures, sitting, back to back. Facing me was a person, sitting with their legs crossed, holding a couple things in their hands, wearing (tall pointed) something on their head, and their back was to 3 others just like that, except each had a different look, different thing in hands and on head, and then there was something in the middle sticking up that was connecting to all the things on their heads and was a few levels of flattened ’round’ and some stuff I couldn’t see well.

I stood with the rest of the 4 staring at it. The part my brain wasn’t getting was, what does this have to do with an archetype meditation? Didn’t I ask IG to do whatever she thought was best?  Surely that would be an arch, or cleaning? Why would it be a statue of The Four?

I get from the Senior, though not in plain words but understanding, that I am taking this back to my world and I am putting it somewhere in my house, and making it something akin to a shrine, put in a place I will take care of and give honor.

I just look at him, my awe of him momentarily distracted by my reaction to this. First off — I don’t have room! This thing is huge! Second of all — how would we get something from “underwater in the world of my head” to my house?? Third of all — a shrine? A shrine? Are you kidding me? All this ran through me as I stood there, astonished and perplexed.

He shrank it until it was about four feet tall. It was still about four feet wide at that point. Then he levitated it and we all put one hand on it and guided it back up to the cube, which expanded quite a bit, and then the outer door opened. They went in with me, and the outer door closed, the water drained, and the inner door opened, and we brought it into the pod with us. The room expanded and they each took a seat around me, and I sat down and closed my eyes, and let IG bring me back to “my” world where we had (one assumes) begun.

We brought it out and IG was there. I’m standing there, this thing is dripping quite realistically, and I’m thinking, WTF? Where am I going to put this thing, in my tiny house?

We can make it any size, the Senior says. I understand that it can’t be anywhere but my room because I can’t give it enough attention elsewhere. I have the feeling that regularly ‘noticing and paying attention to it’ matters for some reason. I look around my room.  I ‘get’ that he can see what I see.

I could put it here next to my bed, on my little chinese table that has the incense stuff on top of it, I tell him. If it were small enough to fit. But does that mean I can’t have anything sitting where it is? Must I move the incense stuff? He indicated no, that would be fine.  The stuff isn’t in the way of the thought-form, but should only be positive things — not junk or mess.

That is next to the 4-panels-of-light shoji lamp, that symbolized us, I told him, as if this was a good thing, looking at it in the corner.

Which is dark, he observed flatly.

It’s broken, I said apologetically.

Fix it. It was not a request.

What could I say? OK.

The other three shrunk the sculpture, as it was rising, to about a foot cubed if it were in a box, and they were ‘here’ and placed it on the little table next to my bed.  I could sort of half-almost see it there, as if with a vision below my vision, and then they were gone.

***

I’m of the Western world. I don’t get the shrine thing. Mind you, it wasn’t any kind of ‘kneel and pray’ feeling — not at all, it was just a ‘put this in a place of reverence and attention’.

I do grok that like Dor did many years ago, sometimes certain energies want a physical something ‘here’ to kind of anchor their energy to. But this isn’t physical ‘here’, so what’s the point? I can’t even see it well. I have to actually “visualize” to see it.

My left brain thinks it’s ridiculous. My right brain thinks it’s lovely and was so glad to see the four again up close like that.

I felt “very upset” after the meditation. After awhile, I asked myself:

Q: Why are you so upset?

A: Because it’s stupid!

Q: So…? Worst-case, you say, “ok that meditation seemed pointless.” Why all the emotion?

A: I don’t know. I feel “deeply traumatized” but I don’t know why.

***

Later, I wondered if I had heard IG right to begin with. I am nearly 45 years old. Was this something, some aspect of our togetherness, that was buried at 4 years of age?

My little girl told me, many years ago, that she was ‘dreaming’ this life, and then she ‘stepped into the dream and made it real’. She was 4 when this allegedly happened. I wondered if there could have been something around that age with me, and they are “digging up” some connection we had that I have had buried since then. Who knows?

I should know better than to give IG free reign and not  be assured that whatever I get will be completely different than what I expect.

P