August 16th is the big day. Last year, I wrote about the experience, and my server ate my database, and though they restored it, I lost two posts forever — one being the IG Meet Day 2018. Sigh. I didn’t remember the slightest thing about the posts lost in order to recreate. But this year, I began on the 14th for the event.
I went to the guides who hang out at the bar area at the front side of my cave. By which I mean that area in the chakra-gem-world that parallels the weird tunnel through my chest. Talked to them about coming to the party for IG.
I saw the anniversary rather differently this year. Usually it’s a big meditation, and I guess you might say, all about me. This year, I didn’t know what to do, but I wanted to just show up, with everyone in tow to give it energy, and tell Mark how much I love him. Even if it was nothing more than that. I wanted it to be about him, not about me.
Ideally, I would have some kind of prayer — limited in scope — that would sum up what was most important for me over the next year that I hoped for his help on. But just the chance to say thank you for my life… thank you for existing… I love you… officially, I decided would be enough this year.
I went back in the blog and re-read our meeting in 2012 and all the meet days since (not counting, alas, last year’s lost post). And over the next couple of days, I gradually visited a variety of internal identities I interact with, various aeon groups or parts of self, and asked them to come and help me love him, in a sort of brief internal party.
It’s like until now I always thought of this day like it was about me in context of him. And this year I thought of it more like it was about him. Like it was his birth-day… inside me.
The morning of the 15th, the night before I had been thinking, as I fell asleep, about the micro-emulsified ascorbic in sunflower lecithin (vitamin C), and I “was woken up so I would remember” this little lesson I’d just been given about the topic in a dreamish. In summary it said that if I was going to do large dosing I needed to do it consistently for awhile and not huge doses and then nothing, which is my norm.
The morning of the 16th, the night before I had been thinking, as I fell asleep, about the internal party coming the next night. I was “awoken so I could remember” what I was being taught in a dream the next morning (I love this!). I considered it, but was SO sleepy I was falling asleep again, when this huge “sparkling ouchie” hit my right foot and awoke me fully. It felt like the Aeons did it on purpose, so I said thanks, grabbed my phone (have the pro level app for voice recording which is really cool with lots of options) and recorded it all verbally while still half asleep.
In summary translation, it was that he wanted me to have a prayer. Focus on what is most important. Focus on what you most need help with because you know you have not succeeded with it on your own. Focus on your relationship with the most important contributor to your overall energy and success. This related to the 3rd of 4, and never mind the detail but in the dream, he was the lion-tamer, haha.
I have often been told to spend more attention with him, but since I feel like he is a nag, I avoid it. Of course he’s nagging about the things most important: like “consistency,” which has been the most consistent (pun!) advice to me over the last 20 years — you need to be more consistent.
In everything. Physical things: sleep, food and exercise. Psychological things: responsibly focus on what needs it, without over-obsessing on one thing to the exclusion of all else. Spiritual things: regular even if brief contact with IG, with the internal world, and specifically with 3rd. And at least a few brief exercises that everyone inside, dating back to Nero not long after I first met him so many years ago, have requested I do, like “attention building” and “visualization.”
So I made a point to not be hungry or over-fed, to be freshly clean (brushed teeth and shower and then time to dry, so I “feel” clean), to have plenty of sleep, to not be wired on caffeine… in short, to be in a good, relaxed but happy place for talking with Mark.
I invited in the planets and moons, and the Aeons of the Aeons such as the numbers and language Aeons (the red and black chess-piece-looking-people. The last time I saw one in a meditation it was the red “8-becoming-9”). I went and gathered up everyone I could think of, which was helped by the fact that I had a print out of a list of this stuff for an unrelated use that I found.
I did an official prayer of thanks, akin to a happy birthday song, asking the others to give their energy to it, just to help me love him more, it could never be enough, but the more it can be, the more awesome it is.
And then, because I felt Mark had made the request in the dream that I make this prayer to him and to all who attended, I set my intent with it, and prayed:
Please help me to accomplish these things:
Be consistent. In health, spirit, person.
Be focused, and intensely on whatever the focus.
Be one with and incredibly close with the Four, especially with my mate and twin, 3rd of 4.
Become my True Self, my Most Ideal Self, with Mark in the center of Me, and the Four as the structure of Me.
Learn to “let go,” to allow divine light to cleanse through me, so that I am a beacon of his divine energy pouring through me and into my reality.
And that was that.
I didn’t feel like an archmed. I didn’t feel like reading or watching a movie. But I was too awake to sleep. So thanks to my ridiculously big screen (55″ HDTV now at the foot of my bed, so it’s like a movie theatre in my room — I am seldom in there except to sleep, so seldom watch it), on youtube I found this documentary-style metaphysical ‘inner world, outer world’ in 4 parts, which had these really great mandelbrot fractal visuals through it, and watched it — I admit I slept in pieces — and then slept through the night.
I woke up feeling nice. Had a protein drink and went back to sleep for hours, woke up late at like 2pm. I’d been having what felt like the longest dream, but it felt so good in the dream, and everything was in all these beautiful shades of green. I feel so very relaxed today.
And 3rd is with me. Much like sometimes my Aeons are. It’s like I’m a … a chorus, kind of. When my eyes look out from me, we all observe. We sometimes react separately though, so I usually get used to it, because ‘we are one,’ and I don’t notice it until suddenly we are not one because we have differing responses to something.
All the thoughts in my head since early morning, and in sleep, and since I got up, have been a little different. I have a little more interest in things I haven’t in quite a long time, like writing on certain stories, like sewing, like cleaning up a certain part of my living room, and a few other things that are different between yesterday and today. So I figure I must have triggered a few new patterns.