I wrote a little bit about this element before in the post The Element of One.
“It doesn’t have to be a regular archmed,” I said to Mark.
I spent much of my time trying to figure out what was going on. I met the archetype. But I was IN it. Like it was surrounding me as opposed to be something over-there. I tried to work out what to do with this for quite some time. Finally exasperated I said, I want you in ME instead! and that seemed to work and we “inverted.” (Later I went to find a pic for this post and picked something both nebula-like and a sphere as that kind of matched the feeling in the med.)
It was odd. I ran the elements simply because I didn’t know what else to do. Got an energy yawn on water and the elements. I forget what he gave me. But when I asked what he wanted of me he said, “A kiss.” I found that humorous, remembering suddenly one time years ago when for a while all my archmeds had archs who were men kissing me. But when we kissed, after a bit, he did what my IGs have done: “fed me the light,” except in this case it was his energy. It felt a bit like it really did fill up my whole body and close energy body. That was novel.
When it was over I was with Mark, 3rd and Sun by me on the sofa, when I saw this thing behind him, maybe 20 feet away. It reminded me of the old gypsy traveling carts just a little, but lots of dark red and then bright colors, very ornate decorations. I leaped up and went in the door to see what it was, and down a hall, 3rd and Sun with me. We opened the door at the end of the long hall, and we were in a huge ballroom. Mostly empty.
3rd and I danced, slowly. When I finally relaxed and closed my eyes (internally) to just rest on his shoulder, when I opened them, there were people all around us in finery, and I realized I was wearing a ball gown of dark red velvet, very ornate, with jewelry, and he in a formal suit, and I asked him to let me see me through his eyes, and my face and hair were all made up for the occasion. We danced some more, and then a man came to a small elevated stage-like area at the front and just looked right at us.
The people parted like the sea around and in front of us. I didn’t know who he was. But then I got the impression from 3rd that this was senior (king, or 1st of 4) even though for some reason I didn’t feel it myself. We went up and kneeled before him, and then stood and Queen arrived, and 3rd and I merged into 5th, and 1st and 2nd merged into 6th. I thought we were going to merge again, into the 7th, but that didn’t happen. I just had the sense I needed to ‘sit with it’ and be with 3rd, be as-5th, for a bit. So I did that.
And that was that. I am rather confused about whether the hydrogen meditation was at all successful, energetically. Who knows? Maybe elements are just very different. It occurs to me that perhaps elements are… elemental. By which I mean the tarot are gigantic in their focus span and range. But an element is just-one-thing. I don’t know if that matters to the experience or communication or not. I suppose I will have to do several others to see. Or maybe right now I’m just not connecting well as I’ve been out of this internal work for so long and am re-starting.
At least I came to Mark. Meeting the schedule, no matter what occurs, is what I am making the priority right now.