I recently had an obviously symbolic dream, and it was a bad one. A part of me kidnapped 4th of 4 (of whom I am an Aeon) out of fear, and the situation got worse until the plan was to kill her. This was so disturbing when I awoke and even a day later, I felt both as a personal need and a spiritual obligation, I had to make that an archmed, go back into that dream and change things. Not only to rescue 4th but to ensure no part of me is allowed to have that kind of energy.
Last night (the night before the night of the meditation) I invited a very long list of energies to my meditation. Aeons, chakras, guides of all kinds, Ace and royalty of the suits, planets, you get the idea, similar to what I would do for an annual IG Meet Day meditation but not quite as extensive.
Senior asked me to spend some time with the four before the med, so I arrived at the castle grounds first. He ported us to the top of a mountain, to an inset circle of water in the stone that was like a shallow pool, and we sat back to back in it as we often do, like the statue they gave me in the deep, until we finally merged.
Eventually my depth of brainwave state was so deep I could not really function, and I had turned off my clickout box and I think I slept briefly. But I awoke, and determined to do this I splashed water on my eyes and sat up straighter and began.
I asked Roman if he would please help me with the “connection to self” that helps me in “taking the dominant autonomy.” He has done this a couple times before in meditations, that is how he was introduced to me as a guide.
Honestly I expected something more elaborate on his part but he simply gave me a small shape that, like the first time we met, I put into my solar plexus area. I asked Mark to put me into the dream construct just before the time I remembered being near the end of it.
I freed 4th from her bonds and I told the ‘me’ that was there, behaving like that: This is not acceptable. I sent a ‘shaft of my will’ into her like a barbed arrow, to connect fully with that energy, and I got some rushing when I did this.
Then I put my left hand out (my right hand was on the clickout box) and sent an I AM form of will that was white light at her, as a weapon, and forcibly dissolved her identity that dared to defy me so completely.
I did this until there was nothing left but a blob of clean energy remaining, and then I rapidly (so fast it is kind of violent) sucked it into my solar plexus as mine.
I expected this to somehow be more difficult than it was. I mean that was a lot of preparation for what turned out to be a very brief solution. I had the sense from the four that it was brief and easy because I was still with them, and carrying Senior’s energy, plus that of the four kings, and all the parts of me I had invited. That if I’d not been so good with the preliminaries, it might have been more… complicated.
I thanked everyone for the honor of their attendance. And came to blog the result.
I feel that I should be doing this not just with the aspect-of-self discovered in a bad dream, but with any part of self that appears to be working against my evolution. I sometimes feel I am fighting myself in some way that is affecting my discipline or my success in some area.
I think at this point in my development, it is no longer time to sit around wishing it were different or whining about what isn’t working.
Anything interfering with my individuation is a threat to the other parts of me that need and want this — and which risk losing their own identity-of-self through Mark’s inexorable nova-like effects in bringing me closer. It is up to me to step up to the challenge of being the dominant will which I must be.
Either I want all the parts of me to be within divine will or I don’t. It is my job to see that the aspects of me which are not, are either seduced into that vibration, or mercilessly conquered.
Because I am the dominant autonomy.