Miscellaneous little things, piling up.
* I reread a post where I was talking about talking to Alayaowaeiiya (my heart chakra), and how it was difficult to explain that it was its own form of communication, not easy or even possible to translate to english except loosely the result, and how it was a learning process.
It suddenly occurred to me: maybe every chakra has its own form of communication.
Since aya’s seems sort of emotion-centric — like “if empaths had a language, it would be that” — perhaps that’s just his version. Maybe it is like the “conceptual geometry” I used to use in the old days that ‘worked’ for certain communications with identities — perhaps that is the language of the solar plexus chakra (Kyana Daoen), it seems to be.
What if each chakra has something similar to an internal language, that one must learn in order to best communicate with them?
What if people who seem most psi are actually those who simply have figured out — by accident mostly, over the course of life — how to subtly handle this communication, so the information for “that level of reality” that is flowing through them, is more available to their conscious mind?
I had this thought the other day that viewing is not about viewing. It is about internal communication, about the language, about the ‘relationship’ that provides info and updates and corrections and expansions and so on. That considering the whole session an archetype meditation is appropriate even for reasons I never previously considered.
I had this idea that since I can’t seem to get around to my daily Aeon rounds with them all, that each morning I should just choose one Aeon (next in the round), and ask Mark to weave us moreso-together for the day, and do a 10-breaths with them (as Dominon the Larger taught me), and then just work to be ‘aware’ of them through the day, talk to them, basically ‘hold them with me’ more.
This felt like a wonderful idea so I figured that was a good sign. I did Taan, and Ithika, and Boleran, and Ray, four days, going along fine. Yesterday morning was Marcan. I’ve been looking forward to Marcan, he is the Aeon I was told is to primarily work with me on “psi and creativity” so that’s cool, right. I did the ten breaths while Mark was weaving us and…
… and realized I was doing something else. I’d lost track of what I was doing before we even finished, and some time had passed. “Well,” I told myself, “That is normally a sign of something I have issues with and am in denial about, when I space out especially of such a brief thing, but of course that can’t be the case with Marcan. Just ADD I guess! I’ll start over.”
So I start again, the 10 breaths, and —
— realized I was doing something else… some indefinite period of time had passed. “No!” I said to myself in shocked denial. “I do not have resistance to psi and creativity!”
Marcan is officially my Aeon for Remote Viewing, though they all want to work with me on it. The dream where I met him showed me that. In that one, some other guy pretended to kill him and distracted me — three times. I even meditated on that after it was so odd. But surely I’m past that!
So for the third time, I sat up straighter and took a deep breath and said out loud, OK Mark, please weave us while we breathe. I counted, “one!” out loud, smiled a bit, and then silently continued the —
— I don’t know how many, because I realized it was quite some time later and I’d spaced out completely.
Even I cannot maintain irrational denial against that much evidence. Obviously I have some very serious issues with my integration with the energy underlying psi and creativity.
That’s why you have novels you’ve never finished, Marcan says.
“I’m busy!” I say, irritated. “And I just haven’t felt like it.”
That’s why you seldom play guitar or get your songs recorded, Marcan says.
“I’m busy!” I protest again, “And dad’s fixing the pick up on my guitar right now,” I add, as if this explains the last 25 years of my avoiding music, or avoiding playing a guitar sitting 2 feet from me when I work from home.
That’s why you’re still not viewing again, Marcan almost whispers at this point, perhaps feeling I was already on edge, and that really sets me off, because I’ve been thinking about it constantly like daily and doing a variety of writing on it and planning stuff and TKR stuff behind the scenes and apparently this is a sore point with me, because I started to argue something with great ire and zeal, I’ll tell HIM by god, only to realize I couldn’t think of a single good excuse as a come-back.
I realized that I never finished the ‘Love Me Do’ meditation series and I stopped right after the one with Marcan, where weirdly as I kissed him I had this huge memory series about my childhood, and my mom and my brother, and I spaced out repeatedly near the end before I finally could stay with the attention. I had forgotten all about that, about the series unfinished and about him being the one I’d had the space-outs with. For some reason my surface memory was blithely assuming that all was well with Marcan.
I forgot to remember that he was with me all day, and ended up with him being with me today as well. I guess we can use the extra day, although I have had less awareness of him than I did any of the others.
It’s just so odd. He’s been good to me in the past, we’ve had whole conversations. Why would there be any issue?
Some time ago (months? years?) I had the thought that I should use my Aeons as the foundation for an official aspect+archetype RV combined, and I felt this full rush, as if all of them were saying “Yes yes!” I’m going to start viewing again soon so I guess I will use that approach at least initially.
After much reading, I have decided I have a copper deficiency (Zinc also but moreso copper) and will be treating that. (Total trivia right!)
I’ve been using my carmi blanket tech using my dream frequencies and I figured it would take 3+ months to see some subtle difference. I swear I felt there was a difference after one day/night (about 20 hours of it), and it’s been three days now and I really do feel it is having an effect. It’s just so oddly subtle I can’t even use words to describe whatever that effect might be. Good, though, I mean overall. Though now a bit… turbulent. But good overall.
I got a reconditioned foc.us brain-stim thing that should be fun. Awesome price and includes the $49 extra pak and free shipping. Obviously they’re just trying to sell some since the reconditioned is not even customer-used.