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This comment response got so long I had to make it a post. Re: the dream in the previous post.

Eva had commented:

My take was 7 offspring, 7 chakras! Sounds like internal structure conflict and reorg going on. Some part of you sabatoging, another part of you supposed to be fixing the mess, pressure all around, sump pumps, levels etc. Very interesting! Maybe a weakness to deal with in the 6th chakra?

Oh wow. I hadn’t even thought of that. I normally think of chakras as 9 since I count the ones a foot outside the body above/below but you’re right that is a number of 7 who are siblings and all live in the same castle!

I did get and forgot to say that the ‘feminine’ element was a huge symbol: long fingernails and high heels were a big focus, although perhaps the spiky symbol is a point also, but I felt the fact that she was very pointedly feminine — not just by happenstance being female rather than male as person in the dream, but this being a real important point of her ‘nature’ — was a note. Feminine not in the soft airy curvy way but in a spiky way I guess, there are both.

This brings me back to one of the more confusing things that has occurred to me though. I blogged it eons ago and have mentioned it since.

I had met ACKRCK (the forehead chakra, and yes I know that name has no vowels) who introduced himself to me more than once by yelling his name (the letters) at me so I could hear him, and long conversations in dreams I utterly forgot. Finally he came and had a conversation with me consciously for like 30 minutes which I fought all the way through and refused to blog and after 30 days had finally fully forgotten (that the memory lasted that long is a miracle since most things are gone in 24 hours or less if not written down).

Although I will grant I have vastly improved in that regard just in the last year. But this happened before that.

But once around then, he brought his ‘mate’, his feminine, to meet me. I was doing a med with IG at the time and she confirmed it was ok. I thought her name was BUSM but I wasn’t sure. At work we actually have a product title one letter diff and I recognized it with the diff. I rejected her, even though I knew she was his mate and of him, I just didn’t want to deal with her. I didn’t mean to reject her from my body, obviously! — I just didn’t want to deal with the sense of invasion I got from yet more identities that were me and all that, I was having a truly terrible time accepting the concept that chakras were entities and that they were part of me.

I don’t know why every layer of this from the four to the aeons to the chakras has been so incredibly threatening to me and difficult for me. Intellectually I think all these ideas are groovy, but experientially I do not react to them like that at all.

Shortly after that I woke up from a dream/experience I couldn’t quite recall, but my throat on one side hurt horribly, and I was ‘told’ by one or more chakras or Aeons, I wasn’t sure which/who or can’t recall, that I had been attacked by an ‘archon’, a term I had only heard up till then from a friend out of context entirely and from that ancient gnostic stuff I’d stumbled on. (This is apparently because I live in a cave, as it turns out the word and concept is not so uncommon even in more mainstream like comics.) And that the reason I had been able to be attacked, is because I had this huge vulnerability, where she had been and I had rejected her. As if my rejection of her had completely undermined her ability to function properly or something or suppressed her energy or caused her to react in some way.

First of all, I have apologized a ridiculous number of times to both she and ACKRCK for my inane jerkiness, how much does one have to grovel about these things? What am I supposed to do to be sorry-enough for her to get over it already? (The Aeonic says inside me: probably an attitude that doesn’t involve “get over it already” would help.)

Secondly, but this is really first, I remain very confused about how she could be the mate of ACKRCK given her placement. It was very clear in my body when I perceived her. It was actually so bizarre it’s one of the few things I’ve never had any doubt I might be imagining. Though it was then confusing as it doesn’t make sense. It was actually like they were not… lemme think on how to articulate this. They were not like orbs. Not at all!

Thoth Tarot 9 of Wands (Strength)

Thoth Tarot 9 of Wands (Strength)

The chakras as I perceived them at that moment, I mean. Her, anyway. They were not like orbs on a spinal thread — oh god! I just realized the spine is the “cubic metal on a string,” the gold rock candy looking thing from the archmed the other night! OK, well that’s cool, back to the point — they were actually all like long… um… sort of tubes. They crossed. The resulting shape was much taller than wide.

And each of them, the tube had ‘intake’ at one side and ‘output’ on the other side, I know she was the feminine of ACKRCK or so I thought anyway, but the sense was she herself was ‘receptive’ at the top (which is feminine) and ‘projective’ at the bottom (which is masculine) anyway.

I don’t recall any perception of the kundalini/crown here, and not very clear on the others, this was about ACKRCK/BUSM but it seemed like I was perceiving them in the context of others similar not just them, like there were several things like this. I don’t know if the several was ‘all the feminines’ or not although now that I see the card at right it seems like that is the message: receptive at top, projective at bottom, yet feminine in both areas (moon) (note the two, farther down the page, seems ‘pointy’ at both sides although still feminine-headed). It seemed clear at that moment that the chakras were all dual like that (which I later thought might relate to the eastern stuff about ida/pingala, the curving/winding paths of the hot/cold energy through the body that I think that medical snake shape thing relates to).

Her ‘shape’ was a long straight sort of tube that was ‘turned’ in me. Like if she had been vertical it would have been straight up and down in me. But she was turned, and so the bottom part of her stuck out the outside of my left leg, between foot and knee. And the top of her stuck out the right side of my throat, the upper throat toward head, the right side.

My impression at the time sparked a couple overlays, one of this card the 9 of wands in tarot although I had to search this suit just now to find the one it reminded me of,  just the way there are multiple things and they cross and are turned like that I suppose.

I can’t remember the 2nd thing I was going to mention now.

One of my biggest questions have been, why would she be this shape which makes no sense to me, and why would she be the ‘mate’ of ACKRCK when it seems to me that she was more in the throat area than the forehead area? It seemed to me my throat chakra is probably the one I had the best relationship of any since communication has been my strongest point pretty much since I could talk. And she seemed at the throat. So how could she be the twin/mate of ACKRCK who made it quite clear he was my ajna chakra?

I never looked at that tarot card with thought about this in the chakra context until now. Denial maybe. I see something in the Thoth I never did before suddenly. It seems so obvious I feel like a moron now. The entire suit of wands seems to represent exactly these shapes, and even the receptive/projective ends (for example, two of wands).  There seem to be somewhat too many of them though, and not quite in the patterns one might expect from the chakras.

But then again I certainly would not have expected her to be in the shape/position she was in, so what the hell do I know.

Thoth Tarot Two of Wands (Dominion)

Thoth Tarot Two of Wands (Dominion)

Now I see this similar pattern — but differently — in the number cards of all the other suits. Swords both different and similar, cups and disks diff yet similar to each other, and all in a sort of pattern that implies something consistent there — maybe this is not so much the placement of the chakras as we know them in all cases at least for cups/disks, but something “on the path of the ida/pingala” perhaps. The tarot’s not limited to 7 but that being for a moment beside the point.

I never realized this before which is a big insight to Thoth tarot, so thanks very much for that. Now that I see it as having some chakraic relationship, it seems terribly obvious. I don’t know how I missed it before. I even had the ref of BUSM and the ‘shapes’ of that card (“one of the wands cards” was actually all I thought) but I thought it was just the only thing in my mental database that had that general shape-relationship is all.

I think I’m getting off track, where was I. Oh yeah. So, she is the feminine component of 6th of 7 as chakras go. This seems like it would be totally logical with the dream. Assuming she is … reacting to me or I am projecting her as myself or… whatever.

Although I don’t understand the ruler is coming unless this has some greater meaning related to the concept of HGA or something, which I find terrifically exciting for completely different reasons so I suppose that instantly biases me, my desire to have even a tiny part of him join me (assuming the IG’s are not ‘gradients’ of his energy already of course). I’m not sure how all the symbolism of the dream would fit with chakras but I can clearly see how some of it would.

Off and on lately I’ve had the tiniest ‘twinge’ in my upper right throat there. I always instantly use hydrogen peroxide in my ears. I know that sounds funny. This researcher in the 30s swore that the only way that cold-viral elements could make us sick was via the ears, I forget the detail on why, I think something to do with the sheer size of the molecules and the wax actually letting them breed and keeping them present longer than we could fight them off naturally, and that if we would clean the ear/wax with something like this the instant we felt it coming on, it would usually prevent it. I have a little blue glass cobalt bottle with H2O2 in it and a glass dropper on my bookshelf headboard and I’ve been doing that every time I feel the tiniest cold symptom coming on. Since I began many many months ago I haven’t had a single cold (I had another illness brought on by extreme bad-body behavior but it wasn’t a cold). I’ve been surrounded by very sick people many times plus statistically should have had at least a few by now. I don’t know for sure it’s related but it seems like it. A friend online told me she’d had serious cold-viral issues most her life and they’d gone away at one point and she’d never, until she saw my note on that researcher, connected it to her actually beginning doing that at the same time, for a different reason related to her ear canals (she discovered medically they were, or at least one was, unusually too small), but her resistance to colds dramatically improved around then also, she’d just never connected those things before. OK now I am seriously off topic…

I think one reason I haven’t thought very hard about that whole follow-on experience with the chakra-feminine was that it really bothered me. I’m not sure if it scared me, freaked me out, or irritated me because it sounded stupid, the whole concept of the archon ‘invasion’. Also, because then I had to wonder if every time I got sick I had been invaded or something. (Reminding me of the ancient idea that illness was when the tiny little demons (messengers?) got in your bloodstream. Seth once said that we actually catch ‘ideas’, as if that’s what germs really were. If every molecule let alone cell of energy is an information unit, and daemons are messengers, this makes a weird kind of sense.)

And because I’ve always felt even a little insecure about whether I got her name right, whether she really was part of him even though she seemed in a diff place, etc. like I just don’t really fully know what the hell is going on here.

Thoth Tarot Six of Wands (Victory)

Thoth Tarot Six of Wands (Victory)

Note that the wands cards are different in Thoth tarot, I don’t know what any of it means. The card at right seems like it would represent the third eye, the throat, and the heart chakra, if symbols were reasonable, but I’m really not sure. Nor still do I understand why these strange shapes would be associated with the chakras when to me they are described as orb-ic things in the body (and the chakra-gem-world has them as platonic solids, geometric shapes of incredible light/holiness that are temples in that world).

And even whether there was any such thing as a feminine element to chakras. But since then, I’ve met other chakras who clearly had this though. Konewa Turi the kundalini seemed to simply have those qualities inherent-together. Bessand Ari the 2nd chakra had them separated, yet held together when I met them. Huh, actually now I’m wondering if the other chakras would have both but ‘further apart’ as that ida/pingala thing seems to split coming out of the kundalini and widen as it moves upward then rejoins at the crown. I think it is. Can’t recall, I really should study this stuff I know, but I always feel like I just bias myself intellectually and it’s better to be slightly stupid about it since otherwise I invalidate my experience, and the self-validation feels more important than the intellectual sense of knowing. I have such a hard time thinking-about things rather than living them already.

Anyway, I am willing to consider that the feminine element BUSM of the 6th of 7, of the ajna chakra, is rejecting and that the masculine element, ACKRCK, is designated as the Lead, both of those seem reasonable in context, and that he is weakened by her situation in fact. I’m willing to consider that the ‘underlying’ mechanics as well as the more ‘airy’ things up top could be —

Oh! Remember I thought what she was going to do could affect everyone in the whole castle — “…and possibly even hurt people (like maybe it affected the air control or something)…” given her role in the throat (but I think perhaps also ears given where she tilted out of me) and possibly related to illness this would actually make perfect sense. As well as that having this sort of jam the gears or get in the way of something like block an energy… both of those conceptually would work.

I just had this reminder of a sub-sub-thought the private oracle gave me eons ago like the reminder is a message: all pain is a plea for attention from some part of the self.

So maybe illness, like pain, is a plea for attention or at least, an ‘evidence of a problem’ at the ‘point of entry’ … or something. Am I off topic again? Damn I’m in denial of something obviously.

Oh yeah. I was going to meditate with IG/Mark on this topic. But gee whiz I fell asleep last night before I could and now I spent so much time waxing on about it intellectually I didn’t have time, what do you know. Must get up and do some stuff but hopefully I can come back to this.

PS It didn’t even occur to me until rereading for typos that maybe this pattern is equally on both sides like the cards, and I only encountered one, but that might be why in the dream it appeared like they were two together.

PPS And that it would make sense she would want to ‘blame it on me’, no less…

PPPS I just noticed something. Maybe each of the number cards in the tarot is essentially — this seems too obvious to even say it now, but somehow it means something to me right now — the pattern/energy when just ‘those’ elements of that suit are ‘dominant’. Like say you had one of those six-pointed stars just as an example. And if you lit up one of the triangles it’d be one thing, lit up the other instead it would be another, both or neither would be two more, but then if you lit up one of the triangles on the edges of the points it’d be another, 2 or 3 and so on would each, and together, be another — certain lines of the star ‘more dominant than others’ would be another — almost like a musical chord. When some notes are dominant or higher or lower than others even if they are all the same notes, it becomes different chords technically. So like if you took the Four, we compose the universe and we map to the tarot suits and you said, and when this-and-that chakra are in power and these others are weak, it is card-X. And when the third is in power in the queen’s area it’s the prince of cups. So it’s like a mapping of the worlds of the four. And then I guess the Trumps would be a mapping of the joined-universe of the four combined. Huh. This is all really interesting to me, I just never quite thought about it this way before. I never really understood the tarot as numbers but suddenly seeing the wands and thinking about the chakras and seeing the two, and how maybe that meant if those were totally dominant and the others were not equal it might mean energy-X, it all just started to fall into place.

Unless I’m completely confused which is entirely possible!