Been thinking a lot about what is inside me lately, now that I am finally returning to active psi work.
Reading quotes by Seth, I stumbled on one about resentment. That has been triggered by my return also, memories of things that still hurt.
After a bit his advice-energy finally leaked through the cracks in my psyche and, perhaps influenced by the fact that I am woven with 3 of Wands right now — Will, in a sense — I felt suddenly determined to DO this, and address this, and FIX this in myself, and I went to Mark (and Monde) and asked:
Please, can we do this right this moment. Can we take all the energy of my hurt and resentment about these various things that keep coming back to remind me the last couple weeks, and create an end-result where I release that? Where if I must remember it at all it’s information, not emotion? And he agreed.
I was with 3rd and Sun in front of him, Monde present, and he touched my head, and probably influenced by the bright light on above me to my right, I eventually worked out that we (including now the four and aeons and others) were all these little “bright motes” in a “bright sky” way up infinitely high.
“I met the sylphs once, Mark,” I said, as if he doesn’t know. “They are so… so filled with joy. Like that’s what they ‘are’.” I felt like that related to this symbolic environment he was giving me somehow. Like this light-mote in the high of the sky somewhere indicated a kind of lightness or joy.
I asked for the archetype and it appeared like a person with me, floating momentariliy at that high in the sky level, but just his energy caused me to feel myself starting to fall just like he was, like a “weighted down” in symbol that was obvious even at the time.
I went through the elements with him which slowed it, but not stopped.
Then I put him on a light table so I could see through him and I asked for any one of those memories to come to me, and a piece of him came into my hands like an energy sphere or ball. I asked for the angelics to put their hands on my upper back like they do as it turns my energy light more white and more intense, and I focused through the energy to cleanse it, and sent the four elements and love from my heart chakra at it and into it, and I pushed, and pushed, and pushed, until suddenly it POPPED like a water balloon or something, like energy just went outward all over as bright gold motes, and then the ‘form’ of it was like a pancake in my hand. I tossed it over my right shoulder behind me to fall, and figured any of the rest of me could dissolve that energy and take it.
I did this for several events, and then had the “dream bigger!” reminder, and then did this with his entire body. It was more work, took more focus, more effort, and I got massive “rushing” all through me at one point of it, but finally the whole body did the same thing — basically “popped!” into nothingness, into gold energy motes that just sprayed and floated out.
And I felt myself rising, and rising, and eventually realized I was a bright mote, and I had rejoined the level of the other bright motes that began with me.
I thanked Mark and Monde, and asked them to please help me find work that I like, that pays well, that still gives me time for important things in my life, and that if I’m preventing this to please help fix me or help me fix myself and soon, so this can occur.
Then I thanks 3 of Wands, because I felt the “will” to do this might be thanks to having his energy so present with me today. We have not yet been de-woven by Mark since we joined this morning. I think that was a good meditation for us, as well.
PS It had never occurred to me until this moment, that weaving with an Aeon of the Universe and then doing an archmed kind of based on the energy of it, would be a great way of “working with” that archetype.