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I nearly did not put this on the blog. Any lack of documentation I consider evidence of ‘denial’ and feel obliged to solve it immediately. Once it’s here, I won’t lose it or forget it.

Med 1: 7/14/2021
This is on whatever energies will help me get work I enjoy doing that makes me decent money ASAP.

Was standing in front of a skyscraper. No strong feelings with it. Hands on energy changed it to a building tall, square, with a sort of reverse droplet roof, like a tall post that got more bulbous at top. That is all. Everyone inside is welcome to be with me on this one.

Med 2: 7/15/21
Got through the pre-meds ok, and some initial stuff, but the rest was a fail. Repeatedly just got lost, like my brain just wouldn’t work. And my body abreactions esp. right leg were going completely nuts. Tried over and over and over and over until I finally just passed out.

7/16/21: Tried the next morning but had similar problem as last night. Finally just went back to sleep again. Woke up after a dream. Did aeons/chakras briefly but had to restart repeatedly, could not hold focus.

7/16/2021 morning dream: 3 doors down which also felt like next door, 2 houses were new or new to me, and someone was moving into them. The front yards were utterly filled, every single inch, with slightly varying size terracotter plant containers, the tall urn shape for planters, cylindrical. (I’m reminded of the ‘spinning tops’ I’ve had in a couple meds, same visual impression but no motion.) 2-3 feet high. You could not fit an inch between them. I looked into some of them that did not seem empty. They had lots of smaller broken shards of terracotta.

I went inside one of the houses, and could see into the other as well. It was clear they were the same owner and being built out to be some kind of shop and they were each half of a whole business, I mean each building was one building but half of a larger thing. It seemed like maybe a personal care shop, I guessed they’d have candles or massage and health stuff. Something about taking care of yourself.

I said I wanted to talk to the owner and I wanted to tell him that his property value would benefit from our homes’ values improving (as we were on the same street), and he had to have gotten those pots in bulk so probably very affordably, and would he be willing to sell some to folks on the street so we could have them also. (I thought they were cool and wanted some for myself.) But the owner was not available. There were a variety of employees there, both genders, sitting or doing various things, so I talked to them.

I forget a big chunk now. But at one point I was in a sort of shop but in the back patio area, someone was growing veggies, tomatoes… and there was some kind of thing with coats and hat/gloves, where it was an effort made to gift them to people who needed them. At one point a woman and I were together, she was riding a bike with me standing on something just to her left. I had hands above my head, holding something long cubic-rectangle above both of us as we moved forward.

(I interpret this as 2nd/4th (me and Queen), carrying forward King’s Will (the rectangle is his symbol)).

In an old meditation, I had spinning-tops that were the same general shape and multiple-density as the terracotta urns. In yet another meditation (follow on the first), I again had something similar. In both cases, and in this one too, I somehow had the sense of “shells.” I don’t know why except the feel they were like the home or casing or surface of something which had been alive. Like a bunch of thin empty things, jam-packed together, circular, larger at top half than bottom half, short like 2-3 foot high. I’d like to know the meaning of this symbol as it is recurring in both meditations and dreams.

There is a slight depth to this feeling, which one time I felt might relate to my gut-feeling about the word “Qliphoth” that I thought meant something like that. But its meaning is: (literally “Peels”, “Shells” or “Husks”) are the representation of evil or impure spiritual forces in Jewish mysticism, the polar opposites of the holy Sefirot. The realm of evil is also termed Sitra Achra/Aḥra (Aramaic the “Other Side” opposite holiness) in Kabbalah texts.  I don’t feel anything like that AT ALL. But oddly, it turns out that {insert and skip endless complication of hebrew religious history here} something called a “shattering” allegedly created these “shells” … I only just found that out, but in that dream, some were filled with shattered pieces. It seems like this is symbolic, even obvious, though I don’t have any sense of the negative assigned to this symbol.

I had a guide in that old meditation, 8-becoming-9. I seem to recall the message of that was… when something does not manifest… it is… hang on.

“Gridlock is always a reflection of insufficient Will.”
— 8 becoming 9

7/17 difficulty getting deep enough, maybe 60/40 me/autonomous as a result, but it mostly worked. In the end me and 3rd and Sun stood next to a river. I got weary of not finding the archetype and called for it. It came from the sky and landed in the river in front of us with a huge heavy splash. It was a very oversized, not visually clear, dragon. We did the elements and it shrunk down to merely very big, and more visually clear. I asked IG and the others to please stasis-hold the meditation there and I’d be back.

7/18 morning – went back. Decided to deal with him the way I did the mile high red dragon with IG4 so long ago. I was openly admiring of him, and asked if I could look at him more closely. From base of neck about 3/4 of the way up in back, his scales were totally stiff, like stuck with muck to be that way. “Stiff-necked!” I thought, there’s a symbol… I cleaned these in detail, between them and around and over, until he felt good and was flexible again. I told him I thought he was perfect now and he ran several steps and leaped and flew off.

/end med

So what did I get out of that. I need more focus of will? I need to be less stiff necked? Both of those are probably true I suppose.