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First I have to mention that last night was kind of amazing. I had these powerful dreams that, when I woke up, I totally understood were from the Ace of Disks. As if it were an entity I was having a relationship with in a way.

They were amazingly creative ideas. Then when I went back to sleep for the rest of the night, when I woke up this morning, there were yet more dreams, of a different nature, yet still I felt very clearly “part of its energy”.

I find that interesting because I have done other archmeds and tarot meds, some vastly more powerful in ‘experience’ during the med, and although on occasion not finishing a med seems to ‘leave the energy open’ which can affect dreams, this is the first time I recall really serious involvement between my dreams and the archetypal energy.

I began my attempts on the 2 of disks yesterday. And for many hours today. And I got nowhere.

I thought maybe I should do a ‘walking’ meditation. Go to the store and do the med overlaid on the world around me. The hardest meds I’ve often had to do this way, forcing my visualization to just ‘overlay reality’, because otherwise, the minute I close my eyes and my brain shifts to alpha waves I’m history, losing my grip on it. Although I did eventually go to the store I ‘forgot’ to try it…

I dug out the card this evening, and with some humor considered that “change” might be the most powerful card in the deck for me at least, in some respects. I had given the computer to the kid long before and sat with paper and pen, determined to accomplish something, even if only a little bit. I drew everything I could from the card, wrote down what I saw, tried to just get in touch with it.

Nearly a day before, IG had given me this sense of being a very big flat square layer of something between other layers (I know this gets too weird for words) but I’d been unable to get past that without spacing out.

I finally said IG, I apologize for being so useless here, but can we just scale this down, at least this first part, to something more akin to an ordinary archmed, so I can just DO it?

I had a visual. Some distance in front of me, it was like a cannon. A long grey cannon, with its base inset into a tiny hill with some brick, and the cannon kept bouncing, flying up and coming down as if it were being used. Some overlay on human anatomy there as well, as if it were organic.

I looked away, and then I looked back. Now there was just this square area/shape similar to the brick and earth port, and something “unfolded” upward, something reddish-orange, and then it unfolded (doubled in size) outward, and then unfolded again (doubled in size) upward, and then outward, and then upward — it was a great visual, like some kind of art paper unfolding — but when it was done it was a rather large, seemingly bipedal or just standing on hind legs, lion.

Not a real lion, but the over-ornate kind you see on some medieval art, or some old coat of arms, and I think that is on occasion seen in this tarot as well. It was standing inside and at the front of a chariot, and there were two things that would have pulled it that I didn’t see well, because I was distracted: its hands were manacled together and tied to something down low, like the earth perhaps, as he stood there.

Thoth Tarot 2 of Disks (Change)

Thoth Tarot 2 of Disks (Change)

“May I free you?” I asked, as I considered two things: first, that I had an immediate sense of bowing-respect for it, despite that it was nearly two dimensional and unreal even in my head; and second, that this symbol is similar to at least one other card in the tarot deck I cannot recall, but is definitely NOT the card I’d just spent an hour trying to get closer to and was meditating on.

“Yes, but don’t get in the way once you have,” he warned. I realized he meant that he would be in motion as soon as he could be. So I extended the back of his chariot and made myself a place there, and then I released his hands and leaped into it with him, and told him, “You are free, my Lord.” As if that was simply the way it had to be said, funny huh. And he took off.

We rode for what seemed like days. I manifested pillows and more and made myself and home and literally “let myself fall asleep” inside the meditation, to just space out the detail so if the ‘time’ sense was waiting on me, it could move along. We finally pulled to a stop.

It was barely light just after dawn, and I felt the air was wet and cold. We were near the edge of a bluff which overlooked the sea, and it felt as if it were over in Europe, like the coast of scotland or england or some such. I got out of the chariot and walked a bit away from it, and from him, the 2D single-color lion-figure I still had the emotional sense of my-liege with.

“I can see the lion, and this landscape, so WELL,” I marveled to myself.

Just then, everything went flat — as if it all fell into a horizontal plane — and then dumped sideways. Like if you had a card things were on top of, and then you just turned it suddenly and everything fell into it or fell off. Something else began to manifest as it turned back, but before I could even see what it was, the card turned suddenly again and dumped it off. This happened repeatedly.

I put my hands on my hips and complained to the inner world in general, “But I LIKED that!”

“That is not your primary focus here,” I was told. I had no idea if that was IG, or the 2 of Disks, or one of the Four, or what.

I felt a little put out then. I said loudly, “Two of Disks! Show yourself.” And it did. But I understood that this wouldn’t have happened without all that came before.

I considered for a moment how more of my meditations don’t begin with the archetype and begin literally with me interacting with other things or a landscape, and then having to FIND the archetype, and then work with it.

I looked at the archetype. It was a tower, like a structure, but sort of translucent. It was so high it literally went into the clouds, too high to see. I wondered, what archs have I had that were like this before, what did it mean?

Only one I could recall: the red dragon that IG brought me once. That was a great med. But I don’t know what that one ‘was’, if it was any one thing, so that didn’t help.

I focused on the base of it. I had the shifting sense of scales, and feathers, and something of ‘beings’ more than structures, but couldn’t see any of it clearly. I couldn’t really get a sense of round or square, just that compared to me it was probably about 100′ diameter. The “translucency” went all the way up to wherever it was up high.

I took a break to eat dinner. When I came back to it, I took one look at it and passed out. Instantly.

I woke up around 1am and determined to get back to it. I want to do one meditation a day which if it takes me longer than 24 hours to do one, is never going to work. I took myself back to the point of staring at it going into the sky and decided I had to “do” something.

I put my hands on it. Sent energy into it. Didn’t really sense any change, though I had the feeling this might be more because it was just so vast it would take awhile for that to be apparent.

I traveled up the front of it, determined to get to the top, just levitating quickly upwards. I passed through the clouds, and then a bit later, suddenly slammed into something above me, and stopped, bewildered. I could see that to my left and right were things sticking out just like the one above me, and it seemed like there were people, like me, trapped underneath those as well. Or maybe they are reflections of you, I thought. It was clear to me the structure did not want me/us going higher.

I thought about that for about 10 seconds and then said, “This is MY Meditation.” and I simply flew away from it some distance, and then continued upward until I was above it, and then flew back over to it and landed on top of it. I was unable to get any visual of the top of the translucent tower so I just invented one: it was flat except surrounded by a metal crown similar to what the tarot card had.

I sat on a very low chair, and I put the palms of both my hands flat on the surface of it between my feet, and I focused on sending “healing energy” into it. It was clear nothing could happen until I got the thing dealt with enough to be a halfway normal size. So I just focused on that. All the typical rain and light of love and so on, and regular channeling of energy into it, and I could feel that it was shrinking its oversize in response but I wasn’t looking. I just kept doing this until I finally felt it had reached a level of more “normality” for its nature. I looked around. It was still a tower, but only a few times higher than myself.

I stood next to it then and thought. I recalled a previous meditation where The Tower (literally, the tarot card ‘the tower’) had kind of got through to me how the shape of a tower represents something… unmovable, unflexible, ‘power’ like that, and that standing stones are multiple towers and yet they inherently have a flexibility of nature the way the energy moves between them. I felt that although visually, I can ‘force’ an archetype to be anything, I seldom or never do; they are what they are. But I felt that if I were going to do so, to do it with integrity, it would need to be something in line with its existing nature, and something it was ok with. I felt that a shift from a big tower to a bunch of thin standing stones would be ok with it, so I forced it into that new form. I didn’t feel any complaint.

As I finished this, I had several “overlays” at the same time. The number 32; the numbers 3 and then 2; stairs made of stone I was stepping one down and backward; and the mixed colors of brown, ocher, sienna, yellow, all on stone. All of that went through my head like in four simultaneous layers and then was gone.

I pondered the standing stones. I still needed to work with the energy of this. It did seem that was a far better form for it, especially since right in the center of them would be a good position of power. So I went to the center, and made a mental concept of connection between the center of me and every stone, and then I started sending energy to them. RUSH! That was the archetype merge point apparently, as I had a LOT of “rushing” and panting-breath during that, and I just kept on that until it wasn’t happening anymore.

Then I asked for something ‘of’ it and I don’t know what the result was but it was all through my body.

I thanked the Angelics (forgot to mention I called them in) and the Sun, and IG, and closed the meditation.

Here’s hoping that 3 of Disks, whatever it is, is not as difficult to “get to” as Ace and Two were. I have the clear sense now that the hard part of all this is, literally, the getting there; the finding the archetype; the getting to a solid interaction point where I have some concept or visual of them.

At that point I am set and I could come back to it but until then I am just wandering through the veils or something, trying to “lock into” it. The working with it is not the hard part; the actually making solid contact with it is. Everything that comes before that is part of the process.

I am slightly fascinated by the funky lion driving the chariot. I wonder if that was like, some other tarot energy I do have a better relationship with, “helping me” get to the tower; or if it was actually a distraction, an interference.


Thoth Tarot Meditations: Disks
Thoth Tarot Ace of Disks
1, 2
Thoth Tarot Two of Disks (Change)
Thoth Tarot Three of Disks (Works)
Thoth Tarot Four of Disks (Power)
Thoth Tarot Five of Disks (Worry)
Thoth Tarot Six of Disks (Success)
Thoth Tarot Seven of Disks (Failure)
Thoth Tarot Eight of Disks (Prudence)
Thoth Tarot Nine of Disks (Gain)
Thoth Tarot Ten of Disks (Wealth)
Thoth Tarot Princess of Disks
1, 2
Thoth Tarot Prince of Disks
Thoth Tarot Queen of Disks
Thoth Tarot Knight of Disks