It’s been eons since I was able to get myself to meditate. I tried the other night and my mind was so undisciplined I couldn’t hold a focus for ten seconds. I had previously had a spontaneous imagery (week ago) of myself, totally buried in a small pyramid of boulders. Didn’t do anything with it.
Tonight I forced myself back to it. Third at my right and Sun at my left and Mark in front. I asked Mark for whatever he wanted, whatever I needed most right now, and it could be something different. Had so much trouble holding a focus that the three moved inward, until I was standing in the center of their triangle touching all of them, and Mark just had me “hold” for a while.
Then he moved aside and in front of me was a very long, two-sides grassy path leading up to something very big and tall ahead like maybe a structure. I was vaguely reminded of the long path that used to lead to the castle of the four in my IG space, years ago. So holding Sun and 3rd by the hand we walked down the right side grassy path. I moved my feet, as I always do to help my body get into it. It took some time, which I figured was probably needed to help get myself in the right frame of mind finally.
When we got there, it was clear there was some kind of big building or wall that we had reached, but in front of it was a sturdy net of thorny brush, like snow white’s castle or something. I asked my guide-slash-power-tool nexus, the rose-nebula-sphere, for help and she floated into the wall, expanded a big doorway for us, and we traversed her courtyard, and when we went out the other side, we were on the other side of the thorns.
We were in front of a wall but it wasn’t a building’s wall, it seemed to be a “walled City.” We walked alongside it for a bit until we saw a tiny alley leading in. We went down that, between tall buildings very close, and as we walked I shifted into 3rd as our ‘presenting person.’ He was dressed with a cloak and sword and he’s a big guy so I felt safer.
We found ourselves on a fairly wide road, slightly rounding, that apparently went around the city. I felt inside for direction, and we went to the right. Eventually we came to where I could feel the calling, and went left down another alley farther inward, and then up stairs, and more stairs, higher until we were clearly at the very top of the city, on a rooftop a few stories up. We were looking over the city, I was wondering what the (archetype? guide?) would be, when a person came out of a doorway and stood looking at us.
It was the Queen. I nearly kneeled in automatic response, but managed to just bow my head a bit. She led us into the open doorway and into a second room inside and gestured at some big pillows to sit on. Then she came and kneeled in front of us, and held my (3rd’s) face in her hands, and leaned her forehead against ours, and just held there for a long time. I prayed that Mark would help me be open to her.
Then she went and got a tray and brought it to us, and sat very close to our side, and took something that was on the plate. She held it out to feed the bite to us, and said as she did, something like, With this bread, you take of my body. It reminded me of the eucharist or whatever it’s called. We ate it. She did the same thing with something like a tiny urn of liquid, and we drank it. Then she went and put the tray away, and came back and kneeled in front of us again. She took my hands and said, her face very close to mine, I am within you, as you are of me. I understood it to also mean that her presence in me would be getting much stronger. I am honored, 3rd and I said together, and she kissed our forehead and stood up and walked from the room.
We got up and left the way we came. I insisted we do the whole thing backward just because I needed the focus exercise. When we arrived at the thorn-gate I used nexus again and as we walked through her small courtyard, I got massive rushing and a huge energy-yawn, like a great archmed resolve.